Reyna (reynaway) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2012-12-17 23:02:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !log, jason grace, reyna |
WHO: Jason Grace and Reyna
WHERE: the mall!
WHEN: Early Dec 14
WHAT: Jason and Reyna’s Christmas shopping plans don’t go as planned
RATING: Low
STATUS: log; complete.
On the whole, Reyna was settling into life in this world. She still missed New Rome terribly, but life away from the legion was allowing her to do things that she’d never had time for before. She was making friends, when friends were hard to come by in the politically-charged atmosphere of the Senate. She was drawing again, something she hadn’t done much of since leaving Circe’s Island. Most importantly, she was warm, thanks to the seasonally-appropriate clothing she’d managed to purchase. San Francisco could get cold, but not in the bone-chilling way that New York did. So when she went down to the lobby to meet Jason, she was in a fairly good mood. Things were still awkward between them, but she hoped they could have a good outing. It’d been a while since they’d been able to spend much time together. Jason, on the other hand, was greatly wishing he could be back in New Rome. Or back on their mission in Old Rome. Or anywhere where he wasn't constantly being torn in two between his girlfriend and his best friend. On the whole, he rather disliked it here. Sure, it was nice to spend some time with Thalia. He had never had much time to get to know his sister and he was enjoying that. It was also nice not to he fighting all the time. But the presence of Luke Castellan, the tensions between himself and Reyna...and the fact that he was feeling utterly useless here were beginning to take their toll. But today, he promised himself, was going to be a good day. Christmas shopping. Enjoying the holidays. And remembering why he loved the people he loved. He smiled when he saw her, raising his hand in a rather awkward wave. "Morning. Got a list of who you're shopping for?" Reyna blinked. Christmas wasn't celebrated in New Rome, so it hadn't even occurred to her that she should be shopping for presents. That was a task for other people, who had families and trees and cookies. "I wasn't going to get anything," she admitted. "I thought you were the one who needed to buy presents. Unless you would like one?" “I don’t need presents,” he smiled. “I have friends like you, and I have Piper. Would you...I mean, could you help me find something for her? You’re both ladies, after all.” Reyna narrowed her eyes at him. After all they had discussed, and his now knowin her feelings for him, he couldn't be that dense, could he? No, he can. It had taken him forever to even clue in that she liked him, after all. He had proven himself more than capable of having this very large blind spot. Well, blind spots weren't good vulnerabilities for a Roman to have. "No," she said simply, and started walking. He may be dense, but he wasn't stupid. He could figure out why she was refusing in three...two... “Reyna,” he said, catching up with her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought...we’re friends. We could help each other.” He grabbed her hand. “Reyna, please. You have no idea how difficult this is for me.” Reyna kept walking, although she didn't shake off his hand. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said sharply. "How selfish I am to not see how difficult it is for you to be here with your loving girlfriend that you love back and have committed to, while being surrounded by your new friends and an old one who would help you make your girlfriend happy. Whyever should I feel like the one who hurts?" “Reyna,” he frowned. “How long am I going to have to suffer for choosing Piper? I’m sorry, okay? I maybe didn’t do it the best way. I maybe should have been more sensitive to you - but I didn’t know. And you’re my best friend. I just want to do things right by both of you, but I can’t date you both, even if I wanted to.” Reyna turned to him with a frown of her own. "How am I making you suffer? I have asked nothing of you. I know you are not mine and that I can only be your friend. And it was as a friend that I was there when you were fighting with her. If you truly wish to do right by me, do not rub your commitment in my face with asking me to help you purchase a gift for your girlfriend." Jason was taken aback by her anger, and felt a little sick at his stomach with the stress of it all. Why couldn’t she just let it go for now, let him be happy? He was tired of feeling guilty about Piper the whole time he was around her. “Look. Maybe shopping is a bad idea.” Reyna couldn't quite hide the hurt. She had only asked for this one thing, and he couldn't even give her that? "Fine," she said stiffly. "If you do not think you could keep yourself from rubbing her in my face, it's best that you shop without me." Jason stopped, just looking at her sadly and tiredly. “Reyna. I’m sorry. Look, I know this is hard on you too. But I care about both of you. Don’t you see that?” Up until now, they’d still been holding hands, but now Reyna released his to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I see that you have made a commitment to her,” she said, just as tiredly. They’d been over this many times already, but it seemed like they never got through to each other. It was frustrating, given how well they had communicated in the past. “I will not ask you to dishonor that commitment. I only ask that you let me honor that in my own way. I am still your friend and I hope I always will be. But in the matter of making your girlfriend happy, I cannot help you do that. Perhaps in time, when I am able to move beyond my feelings for you. But not yet.” Jason hated this. He hated how uncomfortable he felt in front of his best friend. It had never been like this before with Reyna, and he wished so much that it still wasn’t. “I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I really am. I never meant to hurt you. I wish there were a way I could get through this without hurting you. Without hurting either of you. Maybe we should just...go get some food or something instead of shopping.” “I know,” Reyna said quietly. She gave him a smile that was tinged with sadness. “But it is too late now. Honour your commitment to her, and you will be fine. I will endure, as I always do. You don’t have to worry about me.” “But I do worry about you,” he said softly. “I may not be dating you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I do. A lot. A lot. And I don’t like knowing that my best friend is hurting. That’s not what I want, Reyna.” He frowned a little, and tried to grab her hand back. “I just want things to be like they were.” Reyna let him take her hand, and after a moment she stepped forward to wrap her arms around him. "You know they can't," she said quietly. "It's fruitless to try to go back. We can only go forward. People change; even Rome does. And when that happens, it is never good to look back." “But I don’t want to lose you, Reyna. The idea of that happening is...it’s a nightmare. You’ve always been there for me, since we were little kids. And it’s been wonderful. You’re part of my life; an integral part of me that I don’t want to lose. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.” “You won’t lose me,” she assured him. “I’ll still be here for you. It’ll just be different. It doesn’t have to be bad.” Even as she spoke the words, however, she knew that they were on the cusp of losing something precious and fragile. She hadn’t realized just how fragile her friendship with Jason had been. They’d bonded so strongly straight away that she’d just assumed it would be like that forever. They’d both been wrong about that. Because while she could still be a friend to him, she couldn’t be there for him for everything. He had a girlfriend for that now. “But I will, won’t I?” he asked sadly, and it wasn’t really a question. No matter what happened, things could never be the same as they were. There could never be that easiness, that openness, the comfort between them that there once had been. He’d made sure of that when he’d started dating another girl. “Different...different how?” Maybe there was still something that could be made of what was left. Reyna pulled away and shrugged, then resumed walking. She didn’t really have a destination in mind now that they weren’t going shopping; she just didn’t want to stay still anymore. “We stay friends,” she said quietly. “We share things with each other we don’t share with anyone else. Just not on romantic matters.” “We can’t be open with each other, we can’t be honest with each other, and yet keep from each other one of the most important things in our lives,” he said softly. He hated where this was going, how hopeless their friendship was starting to seem. “Maybe....maybe when you find someone special. When you fall in love.” Something in Jason started against that, an angry little growl deep in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t like that idea one tiny bit, but it was only fair. “Maybe,” Reyna agreed. At the moment she couldn’t really think of anyone who would suit, but that wasn’t to say there wouldn’t ever be anyone else. Lancelot was pleasant to spend time with, and he was a formidable warrior. Feelings might develop, in time. But that was in the future, if it happened at all. “Or maybe I simply move beyond these feelings.” She gave him a small smile. “It would not be the first time I’ve been able to conquer my emotions.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “No matter what happens with Piper, Reyna, I want you in my life. You’ll always be important to me. I hope you know that.” “As you will to me,” Reyna replied. “Come. Let’s go find some food. I’m hungry.” |