Who: Lily Evans, James Potter and Sirius Black What: The boys tell Lily the truth about her future. Where: Lily's apartment When: BACKDATED to Lily's arrival Rating: PG Status: Complete
Lily was perched on the edge of the bed in her new room, staring at the computer in front of her. She kept blinking, re-reading the red-haired boy’s comments and wondering how she’d misread him. Lily Evans was nobody’s mum, even if James Potter had concocted some deluded world where she was. She could feel herself shivering - the stress of the day and the information overload . James and Sirius said they were on their way, and she was going to set them straight.
The knock on her apartment door snapped her out of her thoughts and Lily sprang from the bed, rushing to open it. “Come in,” she said curtly, waiving them by her.
Despite his brave face and snarky remarks, James had been having a harder time with Lily’s departure than met the eye. Staying in the apartment they had shared was torture at the best of times even with Harry there, so he had taken to spending as much time as he could busying himself with things to keep his mind busy. He spent hours in the lobby working on basic sketches of the Tower in a half-hearted attempt to recreate the Marauders Map to keep his mind focused on something other than the loss inside of him, and when he wasn’t doing that he was either running with Padfoot in Central Park or doing his best not to take the easy way and start on the six pack he knew was in the back of Sirius’ fridge. While he knew that there was a possibility that she would come back, he was trying to prepare himself for which version of her would show up. He wasn’t afraid of starting over - it would be inconvenient, but the Potter arrogance in him told him that eventually he could get her to see him, not the boy who had been at Hogwarts before - but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face Lily Potter just yet.
He had practically bolted from his spot on the lounge’s couch when he saw her name appear on the network, determined to be the first one to explain things to her. Ron’s revelation did not help matters at all, but compared to other spoilers that had reached people before this one wasn’t too hard to work with. There were other factors in their future that should come from him, and he would be damned if Severus Snape was the first person to reach her and snivel about his future before James could get a word in edgewise. He was practically thrumming with anticipation as he knocked on the door, and it took him a moment to register that Lily was actually standing in front of them when the door opened.
“Good to see that you’re charming as always, Evans,” James said, traces of his usual bravado absent as relief flooded through him as he stepped around her into the apartment. It was really her, not some cruel joke that the tesseract had decided to play on him. She looked younger, more innocent without their future on her shoulders, and for a moment he wished that they could pretend that they were just a couple of kids at Hogwarts, not doomed to be mown down at their house by Voldemort in a few years so their son would be raised with her horse of a sister.
Lily thought maybe James would look guilty -- like he'd paid someone to convince her that in some other world they were married. But he didn't. He looked... relieved. James Potter looked positively pleased to see her, and not in the same way he'd looked at her before. This was more earnest, and it immediately irked her to no end. Lily hadn't exactly been pleased when James was named Head Boy alongside her, but he was just becoming tolerable. And now here they were and she was already annoyed.
"Charming?" She asked incredulously, giving the apartment door a small kick behind her as she turned to face him. "You expect me to be charming in the face of all... this!?" She gestured to the room around them. "My best friends inexplicably aged, people I've never met know who I am.. Oh and I'm in bloody new york city. So forgive me, James Potter, if I am not charming enough for you today."
Lily pushed past him, storming to her room and returning a moment later with the small computer she'd been issued. It was closed, and Lily handled it like a book. She thrust it toward him. "Now tell me why the boys in that thing think you and I have a child," she said. "Is this a joke, Potter? I mean you've done some really ludicrous things before but..."
Sirius exchanged a look with James as soon as Lily stormed off and couldn’t help the tiny little smile that crept up in the corner of his mouth when she returned for the notebook and threw it at his best mate. If he weren’t having so many conflicted emotions about what was going on in front of him he might have broke out the popcorn, but he didn’t really feel like being a sarcastic ass right in that moment. His heart was in his throat and beating at a million beats per a second if he was to be any judge. He knew that what they had to explain to Lily wasn’t going to go over too well and he hated the idea that she might actually believe he had been the one behind their murders like Remus had. He wasn’t sure if he could actually take another close friend not believing in him.
Sirius decided to take Lily’s question as a good time to step in. He wasn’t so sure Lily was going to believe anything coming from James considering where in their timeline she had come from, but maybe she would listen to him. He stepped forward and put his hands up like he was surrendering and didn’t want her to throw anything at him because it looked like it would probably hurt.
“It’s not a joke, Lily,” he said calmly. “There’s a lot we need to tell you and maybe you should sit down for it so we can explain. I promise you nothing we are about to say is a joke or a lie in any way.” Sirius realized all too late just how ridiculous all of that sounded coming from the two of them, especially when the last time Lily saw them they were probably off pantsing Severus Snape and them blaming it on some poor first year Hufflepuff or something.
James suppressed a smile as Lily squawked, his face a mischievous mirror to his best mate’s. This was the Evans who was free of the burden of their futures, the Evans who found fault in all he said and twisted it around to throw it back to him. He wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t miss the Lily he had broke through to reach, the one he loved whom he had snuck into the Bark Yard to play with the dogs there when she was feeling blue, but he could work with this. Bantering was part of what they did best; they ran hot and cold, up and down, ruffling each other’s feathers like it was the thing they were placed on the world to do, but this time it was more serious. She had broken the news of their futures to him before, and now it was his turn. He remembered feeling what she was right now, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t be pleased with how their relationship had grown and matured like he had been, and why would she? He had behaved like quite the arse for so long; she hadn’t had enough time around him to see how he was capable of changing into the man who would throw himself wandless in front of one of the most powerful wizards to protect his family.
He tucked down his worry when she reappeared, jabbing the netbook towards them like an accusation. While Sirius had thrown his hands up as if dealing with a spooked animal, James reached forward and took the piece from her as Sirius explained the gravity of the situation to her. He let Sirius take the lead this time, hoping that somewhere his older years and gray hair equaled more maturity in Evans’ eyes, and let a little bit of the grief and worry that had kept him up at night leak into his face when he looked up at her. “Just hear us out, Evans,” he implored, stepping around her and going deeper into the living area of the apartment, “and then you can pass all the judgement you want.” He glanced out at the window behind them, hazel eyes tracing the wide open spaces that he would have taken a broom to if he had access to one, before turning his back on the view and dropping the netbook on the coffee table. He didn’t want the poor defenseless bit of technology to be a casualty in the upcoming battle.
Lily didn’t think she’d ever seen Sirius act so maturely, and James... was he pleading with her?. Something about this set the redhead on edge - the looks in their eyes and the calmness of their voices. These were not the same boys she’d just been rolling her eyes at for shoving their cheeks full of pie. She was silent for a moment, her green eyes narrowed as she looked from James to Sirius and back to James. Lily almost expected them to bust out laughing, but the palpable tension between them told her that she should listen. But if they were taking the piss, she was going to give them a glomping like no other.
With a small huff, Lily purposefully crossed the room and settled into one of the overstuffed chairs. She crossed her legs, rested her elbow on her knee and looked up at them. “Alright?” she said matter-of-factly. “On with it. I’m listening.” And she was. Lily silently vowed to hear them out, because something deep down worried that whatever they had to tell her was very accurate.
Sirius was relieved when Lily finally sat down and seemed to settle and give them her attention. Anyone who knew these three well enough would know that the roles were reversed in that moment. Usually it was Sirius and James sitting down on some couch staring up at Lily as she scolded them about some stupid thing they had decided to do on a whim that put everyone’s lives in danger. They didn’t have a lot of forethought back then, but now? Well, everything had changed.
Sirius crossed the room and sat down on the couch next to Lily, leaving the seat closest to her open for James to take it. He wasn’t sure he should be the one to lay the landing blow considering so many people believed he was the one that had killed the two of them, but he could get to that after James explained things a bit. “James, why don’t you start?” he prompted.
James’s gaze darted to the seat next to Lily, but he stayed where he was. He glanced at Sirius when he heard his best mate prompt him to start telling Lily their future. There was so much to cover, and all he really wanted to do was keeped her wrapped up in a cocoon of ignorance for as long as he could. Hearing the news had instantly changed him and the knowledge of his death at twenty-one weighed heavily on his shoulders each morning when he woke up, and he didn’t wish that on her. However, if he didn’t tell her someone else would, and she deserved to hear it from him, not some random person on the network. He knew that given his track record at home she had no reason to believe him, and he crossed his fingers as he stuffed them into his trouser pockets.
“Somewhere not long from where I’m from - Christmas holiday - we start dating,” James said, figuring that it would be best to start from the beginning, “and sometime after graduation we get married. I don’t know the date, but Sirius can validate what I’m saying.” He glanced over at Sirius before perching on the arm of the sofa, hands sliding out of his pockets and bracing against his knees. “Voldemort kept rising to power, so we decided to do something and joined Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix to help counter the Death Eaters with a bunch of our friends. Sirius, Peter, Remus, Emme, Dorcas, Marlene; they were all there. From what I can tell by … researching our future and asking around, we defied Him three times, Evans. I told you we’d work well together, didn’t I?” He cracked a small smile, his hazel eyes wary as he tried to gauge what she was thinking. When she had told him earlier that they had married he had let out a whoop of joy and had adopted a grin that would rival the Cheshire Cat’s, yet he had a feeling she wouldn’t be as pleased as he had been. “You got pregnant and had Harry, who you met earlier. Not long after a prophecy was made about a baby that would defy Voldemort, more or less, and Dumbledore thought it could be Harry. We went into hiding and chose Peter to be our Secret Keeper after Sirius said that my suggestion to use Pads was too obvious.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at Sirius as he said this. He had skipped through most parts of the book that had pertained to the events leading up to their deaths; he had trusted Sirius’ word, not that of the author who created the universe that they supposedly came from. It didn’t make sense to him why they had gone with Peter, why they had trusted him over Remus and Sirius, but that’s what had happened.
“Is this making sense so far?”
If Lily would have been sitting in front of a mirror she would have chided herself for her lack of control over her face. It was hard for her to take James Potter seriously, especially when he started off by informing her that somewhere in their future - his past - they started dating. Lily almost interrupted him and chided him for using this experience as a way to court her, but instead she simply quirked a brow and folded her arms across her chest. Her look said “Really?” and her head turned to Sirius for his reaction to this news. Not that Sirius would ever give up his best friend.
But the next bit of information, that piqued her curiosity. The name Voldemort made her uncomfortable immediately - she’d heard stories of his acts, targeting and killing senselessly. But Hogwarts had always kept her safe from harm, and Lily could hardly imagine a version of herself willing to duel Death Eaters. Still, she sat up, leaning closer to James to listen. He had her attention, and a small smile pulled on her face. Professor Dumbledore had told her that earlier this year, when she inquired why James was made head boy and not Remus. He’d been vague about the details, but assured her that they would make a great team. She wasn’t going to give James the satisfaction of knowing that, though.
“So our child... Harry,” she stumbled over the name for a moment, for the first time willing to believe that she was truly his mother. “He was supposed to defeat Voldemort?” She shifted a bit, looking from James to Sirius. “I mean, it’s just all a bit to take in,” she sounded apologetic.”Did he? Defeat Voldemort, that is..”
“Eventually,” Sirius chimed in, taking the lead from James. “I wasn’t around to see it happen myself, but that’s what everyone tells me.” He paused and looked over at James, his expression weary. He knew that the next part of the story was going to be hard to hear, but it had to come out eventually and it was better coming from James and Sirius than anyone else.
“Lily, there’s more,” he said, his eyes downcast. He rubbed the palms of his hands across his trousers. They had become clammy at some point during the night and he didn’t like the feeling. “I was the one that convinced you two to not use me as your Secret Keeper, like James said. I didn’t trust Remus, he had been gone for several months at that point... with the werewolves and I was the obvious choice, but Peter he - “ Sirius’ voice hitched in his throat and he had to clear it to continue.
“Peter betrayed you. He was a Death Eater when he was made Secret Keeper. I don’t know exactly when he turned, but he did. He betrayed you and Voldemort he - “ Another pause. “He came for you.” Sirius wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to say outright that James and Lily had been killed that night, but he could give the general idea. “Harry was raised by your sister. I was sent to Azkaban. They thought I had been the one to...” Sirius’ voice trailed off and he looked over to James for some help.
James steepled his fingers and placed them along the bridge of his nose, eyes pressing together as Sirius took over. He had seen Lily’s face turn from dubious to interested, but he began to worry that she wasn’t taking things seriously when the small, secretive smile appeared on her lips. That smile was the smile that surfaced when she thought he was being completely mental and she was just humoring him as she pretended to listen - it was a smile he was all too familiar with given his track record at Hogwarts. He didn’t say anything as Sirius jumped in, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as the heavy bits of their future came out.
“They thought Sirius was the one who ratted us out to Voldemort because Peter faked his death,” James simply said, his hazel eyes meeting her brilliant green ones as he dropped all pretenses of trying to make it sound better than what it actually was. “Pete was nowhere to be found because he shifted and Sirius was left, alone, in the mess Pete created with the smoking wand and we weren’t there to help Sirius.” It was the truth; something she deserved even if she didn’t buy into it. He knew it was a lot to take in - he himself was only recently 18, far too young to think about betrayals that would happen because some switch was flicked within a friend who, up until six months ago, had been one of his closest. Granted he wasn’t Remus or Sirius, but James had considered Peter to be within his inner circle, one of his best mates. Apparently the sentiment hadn’t been returned.
Lily’s smug grin soured as Sirius continued to talk. She was hearing them, but they were mixed with her own thoughts. Peter? A Death Eater? That couldn’t be. Peter was always polite, sweet if not a bit off. But he was best friends with James, Remus and Sirius. He couldn’t be a Death Eater - he wouldn’t do that. But their next comments - and James’ explanation - simply made her head reel. “Okay, wait -- wait,” she said sternly, her hand clasping onto James’ arm both to get his attention and to stabilize herself. “Peter betrayed us to Voldemort and he came for us...” she said, her heartbeat quickening at the thought. “What do you mean Peter shifted? You were sent to Azkaban?” Lily turned to Sirius, her eyes watering at the thought.
After a moment’s pause, but before they could answer, a light clicked in Lily’s brain. “Why did Petunia raise Harry?” She looked from James to Sirius desperately. She was clearly buying into this story, and if they were lying, she’d kill them. The thought of marrying James Potter and having a son with him was ludicrous as it were, but the logical conclusion they were expecting her to leap to was just too far-fetched. It couldn’t be true... “James? Sirius? Why did my sister raise our son?” There was desperation in her voice.
Sirius swallowed hard. He had thought he and James made what they were trying to get at pretty obvious, but Lily was going to make them say it anyway. Sirius wasn’t sure he would be able to, but he also knew he didn’t want to force James to be the one to get out with it. So, he leaned forward resting his elbows on his legs so he could get a good look at Lily. “Lily, there’s no easy way to say this...” He sighed and his eyes darted away from hers. “Voldemort killed the both of you that night, but when he went to finish Harry off too the spell backfired and he was the one who disappeared. All Harry was left with was a scar, and they blamed me for everything that had happened.” Sirius let out a little huff of air. “And I let them believe it.”
There wasn’t really anything else he could say and he knew that all of the information he just laid out for Lily was a lot more than she could probably take in that moment so he fell silent and buried his face in his hands.
James gave a grim smile, suddenly unsure about how to go on when Sirius stopped talking. The truth of their future was out there, the black hole in the room that was quickly sucking away the available energy. His eyes flickered to Sirius briefly, a frown puckering his brow, when he said that he had let his name get dragged through the mud; even though he had known it, had put the pieces together, he had never heard him say those words aloud. He had given in, and while James couldn’t do anything about it, it killed him each time knowing what had happened.
“I went downstairs to try to battle him off so you and Harry could escape. I didn’t have my wand, so he was able to get past me and up to the nursery. You saved him, Lily. You were - ,” he paused and turned so he could look at her, one hand diving up to ruffle his already uncontrollable black locks to buy him some time, “so brave. You’re the reason he’s alive still.”
He glanced down at her fingers tightening around his arm, clinging to him as she hoped that he had something better to say. “We wanted you to hear it from us. You don’t deserve to hear it from anyone else, and people are going to make comments about it here once they learn who you are.”
Lily’s eyes dropped from their faces. The tears she had felt welling up at the thought of Sirius in Azkaban were now rolling down her cheeks. Lily had thought a lot of her future, but that she’d fight the darkest wizard of her time... it was unthinkable. She pursed her lips and attempted to compose herself before looking back up at them. “I’m dead?” she looked to James. “We- we don’t get to raise our son?” Of course, she knew asking a million times wouldn’t make the answer any different -- a pet peeve of hers -- but Lily couldn’t help herself. Now feeling jittery, Lily hopped out of the chair, pacing back and forth in thought.
She folded her arms across her chest. “I... I don’t know what to say,” Lily sighed and covered her face with her hands for a moment. “If you two are messing with me, I’m going to kill you,” she added through her fingers. It had to be said. Wiping the tears from under her eyes, Lily took a deep breath. “I can’t believe this,” she said, feeling shaky. “I just.... I have to be dreaming.”
Sirius looked up out from under his hands when Lily said she had to be dreaming. He had felt the same way when he found out the truth about everything that had happened after he had gone. Nowadays he just tried not to think about any of it, but with people constantly coming and going through the portal it made that hard. He was having to rehash what happened in his past over and over again and it never got any easier. He wasn’t sure how many more times he would be able to explain he was innocent. Eventually, he knew, Sirius was just going to stop trying.
Sirius shook his head and gave Lily a sad smile. “It’s not a dream,” he said. “I wish it was.” At least if it were a dream they’d all be able to wake up the next day and go to Potions class together.