james buchanan "bucky" barnes (tookthestupid) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2012-12-10 21:32:00 |
|
|||
You could not survive in the world of Natasha’s upbringing if you didn’t prepare for every possibility. With people coming through a portal from worlds and realities that shouldn’t exist, being prepared meant more precautions than usual. The Black Widow had a long and varied past. She was the nightmare that made strong men wake in a cold sweat, if they were allowed to live at all. She had lived and loved amongst monsters just as dangerous as her. If vampires and werewolfs could come through that portal, why not the creatures of her own stories? It was a fine line naming names and giving faces for a past you didn’t always remember. Most of Natasha’s life was a mystery, even to her. When she gave the orders to alert her if the Winter Soldier was brought to this world, she did so with the knowledge that he was dead. He was gone. That she remembered. That she knew was true. If he came back there was no guaranteeing the safety of any of the SHIELD agents. They were some of the best fighters in the world, but he was better. She added Bucky Barnes to the list, happy not to make the connection. They weren’t the only names on her roster, but they were the ones she dreaded the most. Bucky Barnes’ body might come through the portal, but that didn’t mean his mind wouldn’t belong to Russia. She had made the connection between Steve’s best friend and the Winter Soldier roughly twenty minutes after the first time Coulson showed her his vintage trading cards. She was interested in the man he admired so much and learned more than she bargained for in the process. She never told Rogers the connection. The alien invasion had been her reasoning for awhile, then she figured it would only make it worse. He wasn’t coming back. He wasn’t the man Steve knew. Why let the memory of Bucky be tarnished by what he was turned into during a time Steve couldn’t save him? She had always planned on telling him, the arrival of an alternate Bucky made that a necessity. Now there was another Bucky Barnes being spit out of the portal. She steeled herself for the second time to see that it wasn’t the man she knew. Or that it was and that she would have to contain him before he killed everyone on the floor once a trigger was set off. She was sure she moved past people in the halls, but for once she couldn’t tell who. Her vision was focused on the hall in front of her, each long stride taking her one step closer. For all her purpose she slid inside the room with barely a sound. Across the room was a two way mirror, giving her a perfect view of Barnes in the exam room. It was him. It was his face. The face of the man that tore her down and built her up in more ways than she could bear to acknowledge. Her eyes were so focused on his face she missed the obvious signs. It wasn’t until he took off his shirt for the exam that she saw him. His posture was all wrong. His chest and arms lacked the scars she knew by heart. Each line seared into her memory, some of the only true markers of her history that she could trust. His arms--he had two arms made of flesh. “Bucky.” This was Bucky. This was Steve’s man, not hers. She allowed her fingers to clench into a fist twice before standing just a little bit straighter. She forced herself to walk into the other room. She asked to be notified if he arrived, now she had to play her part. “Sorry to disturb you, I won’t be in here long. Simply need to collect a few notes. You’re Mr. Barnes, yes?” It had taken Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes a good ten minutes to realize that he wasn't dead and wasn't going to die before he would listen to any sense. It didn't help that most of the weaponry on the military personnel looked like bonafide HYDRA weapons. Medical exams weren't his favorite thing in the world. The cold metal table wasn't doing him any favors, and he'd never been much of a fan of needles. A winter spent tearing up Europe hadn't lent itself to a tan. He was acutely aware that a woman had entered the room; he was shirtless and pale as a baby's behind. His feet nearly caught on each other as they raced to get him upright. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down. Not the politest way to meet someone. Nonetheless, Bucky smiled, one corner of his mouth tilting upward. "If I'd have known they'd sent a redhead in to inspect me, I'd have at least cleaned up." “Hmm,” she said simply, her eyes going to look him over with an expressionless face. Her eyes catalogued the differences. He looked like such a boy compared to her memory. Or maybe that was how she wanted to see him. He was cocky and sure of himself, but his posture made it clear he wasn’t completely comfortable with himself in this situation. She was a stranger. She had been a stranger to him many times, but this time he wouldn’t remember her. She knew it was only a matter of time until he found out about the other versions of themselves. Maybe he would piece the puzzle together, but for now she was nothing more than a stranger. She was going to enjoy that while she could. “Do you mind if you look at your arm?” She wasn’t sure why she said it, but she had never known this limb. Every curve and freckle was a mystery. Natasha hated mysteries. "Are you a nurse?" When it was clear she wasn't going to leave, Bucky slunk back onto the table and ran a hand through his hair. A quick glance toward the mirror told him that yes, yes he did look like he'd just fallen halfway down a mountainside. For a moment, he just stared at himself, his eyes ringed red from the cold wind. “No,” she admitted. It might have suited her better to lie and play the part, but it wouldn’t be long before he found out the truth. She was already on thin enough ice with Steve as it was, she didn’t need to add further tension. Not when the only gain was to appease her curiosity. “I work for SHIELD. I know your friend Steve as it happens.” Well, she was a right pisser, wasn't she? She hadn't smiled once, not even the fake polite smile that women did just to be nice. Usually, Bucky was all about trying to coax a smile, but having just escaped the jaws of death, he wasn't inclined to try now. "I don't know what the hell SHIELD is, and everyone knows Steve. He's Captain America." He dropped his arms from his chest, holding the one she'd indicated a need for earlier. Natasha did smile at that, the slightest of grins that showed no teeth but was real all the same. “Fair point, but he has gathered a new following in recent months.” She admitted to not being a nurse but he was being a sport anyways. James wasn’t the trusting sort. One more difference. “We’ll get you all caught up. No need to worry about it now.” She ran her hand along where his shoulder met his arm. Nastasha had often wondered what he had been like before the metal. Wondered what this other arm looked like and how it moved. She hated it. This arm was wrong. She missed the star. “You don’t look half bad for a man who was plunging to his death. Steve will be pleased.” Bucky would swear later that he hadn't shivered. That it was a product of the cold, steel table, and her cold hands. That he was still anxiety-ridden from his death fall. He shrugged his shoulder to cover it up, then jerked his shirt off the table next to him. He tossed it over his head, shoved his free arm through the shirt. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't if I hadn't fallen through that - whatever the hell it was. The cube thing. I hit the concrete in that room, screaming my head off like a great big pansy." He sniffed and jerked his head away. "Not too brave." Natasha didn’t correct him. She was sure he didn’t look his best after the initial fall, but he wouldn’t stay broken and twisted for long. He would become beautiful. “At least you know your lungs are in strong working order,” she replied dryly, stepping back to allow him to cover himself up. She didn’t miss the shiver, but couldn’t help but wonder if he was also being shy. The thought amused her, almost as much as twisted her cold Russian heart. “I’m sure it’s all on the security system. Maybe it will be added to the best arrival reactions.” She was teasing him, but her tone never indicated it. She was uncomfortable around him, she knew she was. She was resorting to old covers, different personas that would make it easier to talk to him like a stranger and not the man who was in her best and worst dreams. “I know what you were doing before you fell. That was brave. I think you can be forgiven a scream.” Bucky frowned. He was used to being filmed when he'd been in Europe with Steve, but then it was large cameras and camera crews. He didn't recall seeing a camera crew at all when he arrived. What had he been doing? Trying to protect Steve the same way he always did, just instead of fists, he'd had a gun and Steve's shield. It was really no different than the day they met. You know, except the whole screaming and dying part. Also the weather. It was summer when he'd met Steve. Bucky finished putting his shirt back on in silence. "You think you're immortal, that nothing's going to knock you down. Until it does..." “You were in the second world war, surely you didn’t go through that still thinking you were immortal.” It was strange seeing him like this. He was so shaken up, so unsure of himself. She had to constantly remind herself that this wasn’t the man she knew. It shouldn’t have been a struggle. Natasha knew how to separate things, knew how to remove her emotions. Why wasn’t she able to now? Perhaps because she still wanted him to be James, wanted to see the spark of the man she knew somewhere in this lost boy. “Look, you’ve been through a lot. More than most could ever understand. Give yourself some time. You’ll be back to feeling like a god in no time, American men have a knack for it.” She shouldn’t be trying to comfort him. He meant nothing to her. He was Steve’s friend. She was being nice to him for Steve’s benefit. There was nothing questionable about that. Maybe he hadn't gone through the war thinking he was immortal, but he'd been Captain America's sidekick. There was a certain level of danger attached to it that most would never see, and every victory made Bucky feel more and more invincible. So that question? It was laced with more contradicting answers than there were woman in Howard Stark's past. "Never did feel like a god." He stood up, reached for his coat. "Except behind the scope of a long-range rifle, come to think of it." Well then, that was something. “I’ll have to see you shoot. We’ll see if your skills hold up.” The Winter Soldier wasn’t made completely from scratch. This was the base. She knew he had been a good aim in the army, they probably learned that soon enough. The Red Room could train and program as much as they wanted, but there was still an instinct needed that someone either had or they didn’t. He had the potential to be one of the greatest killers that ever was and he didn’t even know it. “I’m Agent Romanoff. Let me know if you’re ever interested in shooting something.” The name gave Bucky a pause. The Russians had been on their side the last time he'd checked, but they were skittish and opportunistic, as far as Bucky remembered. At least he'd been around Peggy Carter enough to remember not to say something derogatory about women with guns. "You don't have an accent." “Should I have one?” Natasha could speak several languages, all with a native accent. It was one of the keys of fitting in. People tended to remember accents and Natasha couldn’t afford to be remembered. She was lucky enough that SHIELD had been able to keep her face out of the papers. She’d never be the type to wear a mask, but she could certainly see the benefits. “Seems like you have one good enough for the both of us.” Bucky rolled a shoulder, meant to be shrug. After swiping at his nose with a free hand, he pulled the heavy coat back on. They told him it was December in New York, which meant he'd need the coat even if it was sweat-stained. "I don't know. I just haven't talked to any Russians without one. Then again, guess it's a brave new world out there. Has a lot really changed?" “Yes,” she said honestly, leaning back against the wall. “It will be confusing, overwhelming, depressing and exciting. You’ll catch up. A lot of things have changed, but a lot hasn’t. You seem bright enough, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He was the beginning of the Winter Soldier and at his core the Winter Soldier knew how to adapt. Steve would help him out. Hell, everyone would. He was coming in with a built in family, whether he knew it or not. Natasha wasn’t stupid. It wouldn’t be long until he heard about the other Bucky. About James. He’d connect that in some other world he had a different destiny, but she wouldn’t be the one to tell him. In this world she meant nothing to him and that was something she would have to learn to accept. “Take everything Stark says with a grain of salt and you’ll be fine. Tony Stark, not Howard.” |