Fox Mulder | Not a Green Man (basementman) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2013-05-11 13:27:00 |
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She’d done exactly as she had promised. Mulder had needed some time and had asked her to come by later and get him for dinner. Christine had been worried about him especially when she hadn’t heard from him for a few days but she’d come to know him well enough that she understood that something was bothering him and he needed to sort through it. She was much the same way herself and working with McCoy for years had taught her to recognize the signs so Christine had gone about her week, trying not to let herself get stressed out over Mulder’s lack of communication and sure enough he’d left her a filtered message on the network. The idea that he had been essentially given a gift of memories by the Tesseract intrigued her. Christine couldn’t help it, she was fascinated by the thing and what it seemed to be able to do with people. It picked them up, dropped them here and sometimes they stayed but sometimes they didn’t and sometimes they came back. This though was only the second time she’d heard about someone having dreams that were really memories, the other person being the brother of Mulder’s friend, Sam. Dreams were something that Christine had always been intrigued by and even though hers had turned out to be nothing more than some sort of side effect of the Tesseract, she was extremely curious to hear what Mulder had to say especially since it seemed as if he was now more closely aligned with the timeline that Scully had come from. Christine had given him until seven o’clock and then dressed in a pair of jeans, one of her favorite light sweaters and her hair in a ponytail, she had knocked on his door. She told him where she wanted to go and they set off to the little diner that he’d taken her to the first night they’d made love. Christine didn’t often admit it but she was a hopeless romantic and she kind of thought of the little diner as “their” place. When they walked in, they headed for the table in the back, the same one they always sat at when they came here and when the waitress came over, Christine told her what she wanted without even looking at the menu. She waited until Mulder had ordered and the waitress had walked away before reaching over and taking his hand. “I’m glad to see you,” she said. “I’ve been worried but I figured you needed some space so I left you alone. If you hadn’t gotten in touch with me today though I probably would have been pounding on your door tomorrow morning and I don’t think Spock would have liked that very much.” She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. Mulder gave her a smile at that. “Why do you think I sent you a message,” he said wryly. “Although maybe I ought to have not done so. I suspect Spock would have been amused by this, regardless of what he might or might not claim.” He sat back, glad to be sitting here with her, but also feeling and he knew looking as well, remarkably tired. It had been a long day. Living nearly three years worth of memories overnight was perhaps unsurprisingly exhausting. Somewhere the psychologist in him was fascinated by the way that he could both draw from the emotional sense that he’d felt yesterday - particularly sitting here with Christine - but at the same time there were a number of other emotions that were new. Memories of his sister, of Scully being in the hospital and his discovery of experiments that had been done on her and on other women who had been abducted and several of them seemed to invoke - again perhaps not surprisingly - strong emotional responses from him. He was grateful that Scully had been here when this had happened so that he could find out that her cancer was currently in remission because if he hadn’t known that, he was pretty certain that particular emotional response would have been quite a bit stronger. He felt older, and a little bit wiser, and he supposed none of these things should have been surprising when there were three additional years - more or less - influencing his thoughts and his reaction to everything. “I didn’t mean to go quite so incommunicado,” he admitted, reaching for the soda that he’d already been brought. “Scully showing up, and then this on top of that, it just - all came at once and,” he hesitated, but it wasn’t something that Christine seemed upset about and that alone was a sign that what they had was something he could be comfortable with. Still, he felt like he did owe her some explanation. “I’m not good with talking sometimes.” He shrugged, offering her an awkward smile. Christine returned his smile. She knew the last couple of weeks had been tough for him and she could only imagine what it must feel like to live almost three years overnight. He did look tired, she’d noticed that when he’d opened the door but underneath it all he was still the man she’d come to care deeply about in the last few months. “I’m used to men who aren’t good with talking,” she said with a wry grin. “Look who I hang out with. McCoy and Pike could write books on being men who aren’t good at talking. Although you’re a lot less moody than either of them but I also have ways of distracting you that they aren’t privy to.” Christine took a sip of her own drink and trying her best to look prim and proper but failed miserably. “What I’m trying to say though is don’t worry about it. We all have times when we need to just be by ourselves and sort stuff out. I tend to stuff things down and try to hide them from everyone but eventually it explodes. I might do better if I did just go somewhere and think about things on my own.” She tilted her head and looked at him, studying his face for a moment, trying to see if she could see any differences in him aside from the fact that he looked tired. “What does it feel like?” she finally asked. “Do you feel different now? It makes sense that you would. You don’t look different other than looking like you could use about a week of sleep.” Christine realized what she had said and smiled at him. “and I’m not trying to say that you look like hell although that’s the way it came out. Sorry about that.” Mulder nodded, appreciative that she wasn’t upset that he hadn’t called her immediately, and that he had hidden away in his room for the better part of forty-eight hours, really. It was genuinely nice to not have that as an added worry for the moment. “It’s all right, I probably do look like hell but I think when one squeezes three years into 8 hours, one is probably allowed at least a day of looking like you’ve been wrung through the wringer,” he said dryly. The question wasn’t as easy to answer as he felt it ought to be. He considered the soda, and the french fries that had sounded so good about ten minutes before when he’d ordered them didn’t sound nearly as good now. He took a sip of the soda counting on the carbonation to help with that a bit. “A little queasy to be honest,” he shook his head. “And exhausting, and yeah, I definitely feel different. I’m just not certain how to quantify that in any way that makes sense. When I left, Scully had just been returned after her abduction, but the X-Files had been reopened and we were back on them together, and then pretty much immediately I was brought here. We hadn’t been partners for much more than a year when she was abducted, so we knew each other, but it was primarily as colleagues. “Another three years and we’re definitely friends as well as colleagues. Which, isn’t surprising, particularly, it’s just different.” He stopped and took another sip of the soda and swallowed, looking into the cup. “I saw my sister. Except that it wasn’t her. Or rather it was dozens of her. I’ve seen her both as a child, looking no different than the night she was abducted, and as an adult. Clones - possibly alien hybrids - all part of some government project that I still don’t have answers to. My father is dead.” He stopped and shook his head. “I’m sorry Christine, I don’t know if I can do all of this right now. I’ve been over it a hundred times in my head, and in some ways none of this feels like it happened yesterday because it didn’t - it happened ‘years ago’ and I know that, but because I just learned of it, I’ve spent more mental energy on it today than I have.” She listened to him as he spoke, trying to take it all in from a clinical perspective, to detach her emotions for the moment and look at how something like this would affect a person’s brain chemistry. Not to mention how did memories suddenly appear? That was a question for another time though because clearly Mulder was exhausted and Christine could see why. He’d learned a lot in a very short time. When he was done, she once more reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry about your father, Fox.” It was one of the few times she had ever used his first name except for times when she was teasing him but right now it seemed appropriate. “That’s a hell of a way to find that out and the stuff about your sister too. I know that must have hit you hard.” Samantha was one of the first things he’d talked to her about and Christine knew that her abduction was the reason he’d chosen the career that he had. “and you don’t have to talk about it right now. You’ve had a tough couple of days, I’m sure you’re physically and mentally exhausted. Just know that I’m here and when you’re ready to talk more about it, I’ll listen.” She paused for a moment and looked at him, trying to choose her words carefully. “I care about you in case you haven’t figured that out by now. Besides you’d do the same for me. You already have.” Christine would forever be grateful that he had been willing to listen to her when she was having nightmares, that he’d even come to her in the middle of the night just because she’d asked him to. Their bond had been unexpected but it was something she cherished. “I don’t know what I expected about Samantha, exactly,” Mulder frowned into his drink, silent for a moment and rather wishing that he had something stronger than a coke in front of him. Her use of his first name registered, but only as something as a comfort. “I mean, if I was right - if she was abducted by aliens, which I believe I am - I don’t have any other explanation for it - then the idea of genetic tests aren’t so far fetched. It’s just to know that I’ve kept looking and I’ve not found her. I don’t know what to think about that. I don’t know if I thought answers would be immediate. They never have been and frequently the answers I uncover in the X-Files are less answers and more additional questions, but there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder if answers are even out there. “I have to believe they are although not probably in this reality,” he finally looked up and met Christine’s eyes. “I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse, honestly. I think sometimes I really just hope that Samantha will show up through the tesseract and she’ll let me know that she’s all right - even if I haven’t found her, and even though I know I won’t remember that when I return, I’d know it now.” Mulder shook his head. “I’ve been thinking about it all day Christine and I think I’m going to watch the show. I need to verify that the stuff I dreamed happened, and some of the things are details that Scully won’t know because she wasn’t there. If it all adds up - what I remember, what she tells me, and what’s on the show - then I’ll know to trust it. Until then, I can believe it all happened, and certainly my mind tells me it did, but it’s different than something that I remember from before, if that makes any sense. “I don’t know if you want to watch it with me, and honestly I don’t know whether to say ‘yes please watch it with me’ or ‘maybe I want to watch this on my own’.” He looked up and chuckled at himself. “I may or may not be completely in a clear frame of mind at the moment.” “It does make sense. It’s a memory yes but it hasn’t happened to you so it would have to feel different,” Christine picked up a fry from her plate and ate it. She hadn’t even realized that the food had been brought out, she’d been too busy listening to Mulder. “So it’s not like a real memory even though it happened.” She could understand his need to watch the show. If it were her, she’d want to do the same especially since he had his dream memories, the things Scully had told him and he could confirm all that by watching. “It’s perfectly understandable if you’re not in a clear frame of mind right now,” she assured him. “You’ve had a shock, your brain probably feels like it’s about to explode. If you want me to watch it with you, I will. If you’d rather do it alone, I’ll understand. Everybody is different but if you decide you want me there for part of it or all of it, I’ll be there for you.” She wasn’t sure what she would do in the same situation. Mulder had offered to go to see the new movie with her but Christine had already decided that she wasn’t going. She hadn’t seen the first one and wasn’t sure she wanted to although if she did decide to do so, she knew she wouldn’t be able to watch it alone. Not with the memories that it would bring up, the worst of which weren’t shown on screen from what she had heard. Mulder nodded and gave her a smile as he picked up the burger and took a bite. Although he hadn’t been certain that he’d want the food now that it was in front of him he realized he really was hungry. He hadn’t eaten much of anything for most of the day, and so he took a second bite before he continued on. “Thing is, I have a bit of an idea of what will happen next just from the dreams - assuming I have everything right - so I may want to do a few things alone. I don’t know.” Scully being in the hospital - for instance. It seemed too personal, both for him and for Scully, and he might prefer to watch that one alone however much the support might be nice as well. “You know, I said my stomach would thank you,” he motioned to the food. “It does.” She was relieved to see him start eating. It was hard for Christine to keep her mother hen instincts at bay sometimes and this was one of them. If Mulder was eating he was probably settling down a bit which was good. “Just let me know,” she said, eating another french fry. “It’s totally up to you. And your stomach is welcome by the way.” For a moment they ate in silence and then Christine put her burger down and looked across the table at him. “This might be a really bad time to bring it up but I think a change of subject might be good for both of us. Next Saturday Pike is hosting a picnic kind of thing for the Starfleet people who are here and we’re encouraged to bring someone. I’d really like it if you’d come with me. I made McCoy and Pike promise not to give you the third degree but I can’t promise anything.” She grinned. “Just remember that they mean well.” Mulder took another bite and washed it down with some of the soda and leaned back in his chair. Far from being a bad time to bring it up, the change of subject was absolutely welcome. “Why does this feel like the Potts Tower version of ‘meeting the family’?” his eyes held a smile in them as he gazed at Christine. “And possibly being interrogated by the loving father and/or brother?” A french fry was eaten and then he nodded. “Of course I’ll come if you want me to Christine. I’ll try to keep the twelve-year-old fanboy under control. It’ll probably help that they aren’t the Pike or McCoy I remember from my childhood, and I promise not to be too embarrassing. I mean, Spock has put up with me for several weeks now and hasn’t asked for a change of room assignments so I can’t be too bad.” “It probably feels that way because it kind of is?” Christine laughed. “I’m an only child so they kind of fill in for brothers. Kirk would be the cousin that no one talks about I suppose.” She took another bite, happy to see Mulder smiling again. “Sometimes I wish the Tesseract would deliver some of your Spock’s crewmates here. At least he wouldn’t be alone and I’m sure he’d be more comfortable with them but it’s Spock so how could you tell?” Christine had gotten used to Spock and she thought that he had gotten used to her as well. At least she didn’t feel like she had to explain herself every five minutes anymore which was a relief. She picked up her drink and took a sip, nearly choking with laughter when Mulder mentioned keeping his twelve year old fanboy under control. “I’m sorry,” she said. “but that’s funny! I keep imagining you as a twelve year old fanboy. It’s cute. Seriously though I do want you to come. I wouldn’t want to go without you to be honest.” Something suddenly struck her and she propped her chin on her hand and looked at him. “Okay so you loved the original series and I know getting used to our timeline must feel strange. Yet being with me...does that feel strange? Because I hope not. I mean I don’t suppose you’d be here if you didn’t want to be but I just wondered.” Mulder chuckled. “I’ve decided that Spock always looks equally comfortable and uncomfortable in nearly every situation. I’ve been trying to decide if there’s any way to determine if there’s been any change, and thus far I haven’t uncovered it. That Oxford University degree didn’t cover Vulcan psychology, apparently. “I told you that I once dressed as Spock for halloween,” Mulder stated taking another bite of his hamburger and chewing it up before continuing. “So yes, there really is or was, let’s leave it with ‘was’ a twelve-year-old fanboy in there somewhere.” He stopped and considered her question and wrinkled up his nose. “No...” he said slowly. “No, it doesn’t feel strange. If I stop to think about it at all, it does a bit, because you’re like the Christine Chapel I grew up with, except you’re not either - which is a bit odd. But mostly I don’t think about it. You’re you, and the television show was the television show. And even Spock - I mean, yes, he was on the television show, but he’s also currently my roommate and so he’s taken on his own person as well. Not certain that makes any sense.” “I would give anything to see you dressed as Spock,” she replied with a laugh. “I bet you were adorable.” Christine listened to his words and nodded. “That’s true, I’m me and from what I’ve seen of the show, we are similar but there are lot of things that are completely different too. I’m just glad that you like me because I’m me and not because I’m sort of her but not. Which probably makes about as much sense as what you said which by the way I did understand.” Mulder shook his head. “I’d probably be lying if I didn’t admit to talking to you initially because of some curiosity - I mean, one of my favourite shows as a kid, and you were her, but not her, and that made me interested, but that’s certainly not why I ended up liking you. That had a lot more to do with the fact that you checked in on me and didn’t let me just hide in my room and avoid the world - even if it wasn’t exactly my world.” He took another bite of his hamburger and followed it with a french fry. “And you refuse to let me starve - also a plus,” he held up another french fry as a punctuation and then ate it. “I won’t let anyone starve,” she replied. “and I have this habit of not letting people I like hide from the world. You should feel special because not everyone gets harassed by me. You are one of a select few. There’s also the fact that I kind of like your fish.” Christine grinned and reached over to grab one of his fries even though she had some on her plate. “and you let me steal your fries.” “You should feel special, Christine,” Mulder grinned. “I don’t just let anyone steal my fries. The fact that you can, and I don’t read you your rights means you are a pretty lucky woman.” All things considered, it was probably he that was the lucky person. The food had helped, perhaps not surprising at all, and the companionship was helping almost as much. None of the emotional repercussions of the dream were disappearing, but at least they were currently being evened out by the emotions of his current reality. He ate another french fry and looked over at Christine, quiet for a moment and then he grinned and returned to their other conversation topic. “I’ll try to be good so that I’ll pass the test for your family,” he ate another fry. “I’m glad you aren’t reading me my rights,” she said. “although I do kind of enjoy the occasional strip search.” Christine couldn’t resist teasing him a bit. “but we won’t tell the family about that. I’m sure that’s something they wouldn’t want to know. I know I’d rather not know what they get up to when they’re naked.” Christine shook her head. “I probably drive the three of them crazy because I know I can be a mother hen. I’ve been worried about Pike and McCoy especially but I talked to McCoy the other day so I feel better about that. Doesn’t mean I won’t still worry but at least I know he’s okay.” She knew full well that she could be a pest when she was concerned about someone she cared about but Christine couldn’t help it. It was just her way. Mulder raised an eyebrow with a grin, and then settled into listen as Christine began to talk. And as Christine finished he nodded. “I’m glad you were able to speak with him. And they probably need a little mother hen-ning once in a while,” Mulder grinned at her. “And you’re allowed to worry a bit, about anyone and everyone.” She turned her hand so that she was holding his and sighed “I’ve been thinking. You were talking about watching your show, trying to make sense of everything. It’s time I sat down and found the episode that answers the question of what happened to Roger. Even though it might be different since it’s part of the original timeline but it might not be. At least I’ll have some kind of idea. Deep down inside I know he’s gone...I’ve known that for a while now but I need closure.” Christine ran her thumb over the edge of Mulder’s thumb and sat for a moment just enjoying being with him. He made this place feel a little bit more like home. “I miss the Enterprise sometimes. We were all family there, we had to be because we were all each other had. Now it’s different, being here. That’s why I’m glad Pike is having the picnic this weekend. I think it will be good for all of us, both universes so to speak. to spend some time together.” She smiled at him. “I’m really glad you’re coming with me by the way. I also have a favor to ask you. The new movie comes out on the 17th. I don’t want to go. Take me somewhere that night, I don’t care where as long as I don’t have to think about what’s in that movie. The prom is the next night but that Friday night, I just want to forget with you.” Mulder nodded. “Do you want me to watch it with you? If you do I will. If you’d rather watch it alone, then that’s fine and I’ll be here to talk about it later.” He didn’t know which Christine would want. It wasn’t her universe, but he remembered the episode enough to know that it wouldn’t precisely be easy watching for Christine. Closure, though - he could understand the need for that. Understood it perhaps as well as anyone. He kept his hand on hers and nodded again. “I will Christine. We’ll come up with someplace where no one will bother us and you won’t have to think about the film. In the meantime, we’ll have the picnic, we’ll have the prom to look forward to - we’re going to get through this month, together. Between you and me it may be a rough month, but we can get through it.” She had no idea how she wanted to watch it. Part of her thought it was best if she did it alone but another part of her wanted the comfort of Mulder’s presence. “I’ll let you know,” she said. “I’m not sure what I want to do but either way, I’ll need to talk about it. Thank you.” Christine gave his hand a squeeze. “That sounds great. You’re right. We’ll get through the rest of this month together.” She smiled. “I kind of like the way that sounds you know. That we’ll get through it together.” Christine knew how lucky she was to have him not just as a lover but as a friend. He’d been her friend first and was still, something that she was very grateful for. “That works,” Mulder said, leaning back in his chair slightly and eating another couple of fries. “I like the way it sounds too. We’ve gotten this far after all.” It had been incomparably nice to have someone that he could say ‘together’ with the past few months. He tried not to think about how easily either of them could be swept away by the tesseract. Scully already had been once, and the fact that she hadn’t chosen it - necessarily - meant that he knew it could happen to either of them. It wasn’t precisely a cheery thought and he took another couple of fries, dipped them in ketchup, and ate them, before he offered her a smile. He’d just assume that it would be together - plan on it being together - and it would be. Not that his life ever worked out exactly how he wanted it to, but it was possible. Whatever else this reality was - it was different from home. “Do you have to work that day?” Mulder asked, an idea occurring to him. “I mean, the day of the film? And if you do, do you think you could get it off?” Christine’s thoughts were going down the same path as Mulder’s which wouldn’t have surprised her if she’d known. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t worry about the future, she’d enjoy what they had and deep down inside, she believed that the memories of their time together would still be there if one of them was taken back. How to get to them was something she hadn’t worked out yet but she refused to believe that whatever power controlled the Tesseract would bring them here, let them live new lives and then rip them apart on a whim. Maybe she was giving the thing too much credit though. She took a bite of her cheeseburger and looked over at him with a raised eyebrow when he asked her if she was off. “Yes actually I am off that day. I only work until noon on Fridays anyway since I go riding with Pike in the afternoon but that’s part of his therapy so technically that’s part of work. Anyway I asked for that day off a while back because I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything. Why?” “Then I have the perfect thing for us to do,” Mulder grinned. “I’m going to rent a car, and get us a tent, and we’re going to go out and find some hill - preferably one where there have been UFO sightings - and we’re going to camp and look at the stars far away from any film premieres. How does that sound?” “You know I’ve been wondering when you were going to get around to taking me UFO hunting!” she said with a smile. “I think it sounds absolutely perfect. Just you, me, the stars and maybe an alien or two. Most of which aren’t actually green I hate to tell you.” It sounded like a great idea to Christine. “We could use some time to ourselves.” “Wonder no longer,” Mulder said with a smile and a slight mocking bow. “I will be your tour guide on an adventure into the UFO hot-spots of New York State, far from the dazzling lights of the city we will uncover the bright lights of those that sweep in, perform their tests, steal time and memories, and then sweep back to their planets.” He picked up a fry and put it in his mouth. “Or, you know, we’ll see the stars because the UFO hot-spots of this reality are not the UFO hot-spots of my own reality, but either way I don’t think we’ll hear anything about this film that supposedly will be playing in a week or two.” He stopped, picked up the burger and took a bite of it and then put it aside. “We’ll have all the time to ourselves, away from memories, or drama, or really anything like that. It’ll just be the two of us.” “That all sounds pretty amazing,” she said with a contented sigh. “just the idea of being away from everything for a day sounds perfect. Getting to see the stars is a huge bonus though. You can’t see them in the city and I miss that.” Christine picked up her soda and finished it then looked over at Mulder. “I’m glad we did this. Your stomach is happy, my worrywart self is happy and you look like you’re feeling a little better. At least you’re smiling at me which is never a bad thing. I like your smile.” Mulder smiled, “Well then I’ll just keep smiling, so long as you promise to do the same.” |