Jennifer Takeda-Hazmat (hazmatup) wrote in thedoorway, @ 2013-04-04 20:14:00 |
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Everything had just been building up to this. This one point of everything in her head overloading. Jenny had to stop herself, because stopping was always her problem. But sometimes she could manage it. She could manage not to kill Nico and Chase. But she had to destroy their only food supply to do it. She could try to hold all of this in because it was just like she thought it would be, they didn’t believe her. But all that had done is confirm what she already knew. They would never believe her and that didn’t change the truth of anything. The truth that she saw and could never wipe away from her mind as much as she wanted to, to strive for some semblance of normal that she would never actually reach. Hazmat felt like she was drowning. Everything welled up inside her body and she could not run away, not without taking the time to put on her suit and there was nowhere she could go in this stupid city. Instead she was trapped, just like she was always trapped. No matter where she was, here, the Academy, Murderworld. There would always be no escape, no real way to get reprieve and her head was screaming. There was too much power and without her suit it was harder to control. The couch just sort of... disintegrated. It was like that stupid tree, that tree that could have kept them alive if it wasn’t just a way to make them feel safe around Nico and Chase. And so Jenny slumped onto the ground, ash all around her as her hands scrambled for her phone. No one believed her. She had broken down and finally told part and no one believed her. Instead of actually caring, of wanting her to be okay... it did not matter here. She was a problem, just like she always had been. Why would anyone want someone who was just meant to be broken and alone, from a world where she wouldn’t survive because how could she? Wiping her hand over her cheeks, spreading ash over them, she flipped through and sent out a quick text to Quicksilver. Finesse turned to him, right? He’d done stuff, stuff that maybe he shouldn’t have. And that just reminded her about promising Ken. So she sent another one and curled up, hugging her knees to her chest as she saw Ken’s name flash back up on her screen with his face. All she had done was make this all worse. They didn’t believe, they didn’t care. She was better off back in the arena. At least her team still believed in her there. |