There has been many times when I read the network and I feel agreement stirring in my soul. There are times that I cannot believe I am here and I cannot return. My Pattern will not allow me to return home but it functions almost normally otherwise. I am loathe to admit that I cannot figure out why. I have never been to another world that I cannot return home from. Even when I was lost among the out lying lands of Chaos, I knew I could Hellride home - it would just take longer to get there. I tried again, today. To Hellride home and I couldn't even shift a damn flower.
For someone who is so used to just focusing their mind and changing the world around them - it's extremely depressing to find myself unable to change even the smallest things. I also may have given myself the biggest migraine of my life trying. Then I read the entries about change - about aging or not - and part of me agrees. It's hard to look at the world around me and adapt to the fact it's not my world. Some days I take it for granted that, generally speaking, I'll live forever. Of course that's not entirely true - I get thrown into the Abyss back home. Which isn't certain death, but it can be. Chaos is not a friendly place, after all. There are many creatures in the Abyss who feed on me and my kind. But I may survive it - who knows. But generally speaking, I have relatives that are thousands of years old. Then again I think they cheated - we can move between realms where time flows differently - but I digress.
Some days I find it hard to adapt here. Not only am I the warrior princess of my family used to war and fighting, not so much down time, but here I am looked at as a woman - a weaker sex. Back home our biggest issue was that us women could not rule the kingdom - but it didn't bother me because I never WANTED that. But here? I see women treated poorly. I don't understand it. I don't get it but I don't blame people. Each culture has it's own idiosyncrasies. I just hope I can adapt enough to survive here, but never lose who I am.
There might have been a point to this but I can't remember it. I suppose it was more about rambling and letting all the things in my head out for once.
I decided that you should have this. I shall teach you to use it. And give you the full card in person. It's not my best work - but that's alright. It should function as it was meant to. I'll make others for other locations that are important for us.