matt holt (encrypting) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-09-18 20:34:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !log/thread, matt holt, takashi shirogane / shiro |
WHO: Matt & Shiro
WHAT: The morning of the canon bumps, Matt & Shiro run into each other in the kitchen
WHEN: Backdated to August 24th
WHERE: Holt House
WARNINGS: Mentions of canon character death (not a character in game) and just generally the stuff Shiro's been through... I think that's it
It was a long time, well past sunrise, before Matt left Pidge’s room. He finally left to go check on Tony, who then headed out. Matt saw him to the door, and then was heading back through the kitchen, pausing to contemplate if he wanted to bring any food back to Pidge’s room or if he should convince her to come back down.
And then he heard footsteps, which he recognized as Shiro’s. He paused, and when Shiro appeared in the doorway, he offered his friend a tired smile. Shiro looked the same as he remembered; he looked like he might be upset, but Matt couldn’t tell on sight if that was because he’d gotten a memory update or not.
“Hey,” he said. “You okay? There was another round of memory updates last night.”
And only after he said it did he remember how different he looked, and how obvious that statement was. “I got hit this time. Obviously. Pidge too.”
--
Shiro had been so caught up in Keith’s appearance and everything they had just discussed that Shiro wasn’t at all ready for the sight of Matt in the kitchen. He paused openly in the doorway, taking in his friend, who was a far cry from the scrawny near-kid that Shiro had left for Kerberos with.
To be fair, he didn’t look much like the kid he had left as.
It tore his heart to see Matt spring up the same way that it had with Keith. (Always so glad that they were alive to grow a bit more, firstmost.) But also aware that he was so proud to be alongside both of them, to see all the great things they were accomplishing, and bittersweet about all of it, because he could see more pain written on them as well.
“I didn’t,” Shiro said, regaining himself and heading to stand by Matt, leaning gently into him. “I know Keith did.” He didn’t barrage Matt with questions right away, although Shiro wanted to know if Pidge was okay -- but also figured that if she wasn’t, Matt would have shared that first.
Instead, he made the same offer to Matt that he had to Keith: “You want a change of clothes?” Shiro asked.
…
“He did?” Matt asked, a little surprised that Shiro already knew. But not really surprised, when he thought about it. Of course Shiro was the first -- or at least second, with Lance being the first -- that Keith would go to if he woke up like that. “Three of us, then, at least. I haven’t checked in with the others.”
He wrapped his arms around Shiro when his friend leaned into him. It was comforting, even though it was strange all over again, making him aware that they were closer in height and width now, though Shiro was still larger than him. “Oh,” he said, his awareness going to his slightly bared ankles and wrists, and the tight fit of his clothes everywhere else. “Yes. Clothes would be helpful.”
--
“Is Pidge okay?” Shiro asked quietly. Sometimes, it felt like something bad, or at least major, had to happen for these memory spikes. From what Shiro had heard from Keith, a lot had happened.
Shiro squeezed Matt lightly and took a temporary departure to go grab some clean items for Matt, returning to him with them in hand.
…
“Yeah,” Matt said. “I think so. I mean… she’s not injured. She’s been through a lot, but she’s resilient.”
He was surprised when Shiro left immediately, but was grateful for the clothes. Even if he didn’t quite know what to do with them right in this moment, since it seemed weird to change clothes in the kitchen, and he wanted to talk to Shiro. “You didn’t have to get these right now. Thank you, though.”
--
Shiro shrugged idly. He had wanted to get it out of the way while he still remembered and provide Matt a chance to change if he wanted.
As he settled back in, he was aware that he didn’t know a ton about what had happened to the rest of the team. Keith had given the broad strokes that everyone was okay, that Voltron had fought the Galra on Earth (although not without cost), and that they won at the end of the day.
“Keith said we fought the Galra on Earth,” Shiro supplied, giving Matt to start or deflect, depending on what he wanted.
…
“Uh… yeah,” Matt said. “That’s what Pidge said too. I wasn’t around for any of that, apparently.” He lifted a hand and pushed a lock of his longer hair back behind his ear. It still felt a little strange to have it falling around his face, even though at the same time, it almost felt normal. “I was still fighting them in space. Or hiding from them, really, while also trying to look for Voltron.”
He paused. “There was some time dilution, apparently, after the fight with Lotor. So you guys skipped a few years ahead of me.”
--
“Three years, Keith said,” Shiro said, confirming that he knew. It was still so odd to think of all of this as becoming normal.
It was odder still to continue of thinking of doing all of this without Matt. He had Kuron’s blurred memories of Matt’s return, but he hadn’t really reunited with his friend back in their home universe, and that made Shiro’s chest ache softly. They had worked so hard to find each other and it kept feeling like they were missing each other by inches.
“Do you make it back to Earth?” Shiro asked.
…
“I don’t know,” Matt answered honestly, shrugging. “I assume so. At some point. But I don’t remember it, and neither does Pidge.”
He was trying not to worry about it. Maybe someone would get memories from farther along than Pidge and would know. Maybe Keith even knew, if he’d been able to tell Shiro that everyone was alright. But if Shiro was asking, that meant Keith hadn’t specifically mentioned him, so maybe he’d just meant the team… “Keith didn’t say anything about that either?”
--
“No,” Shiro admitted. Their conversation had been somewhat limited in scope, what with all the catching up they’d had to do since everything with Kuron had happened. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to explain how badly his frankenstein memories of that fight would haunt him, or, conversely, how proud he was of Keith.
“He told me a lot of what happened to me,” Shiro said. And, by extension, Adam. Shiro wasn’t sure when the right time to tell Matt would be. He knew he needed to, because Matt would care about that as well, but, of course, everything with his family would be far more pressing.
…
Matt shrugged, but it was obvious from his expression that it was bothering him. He’d just found Pidge again; they’d been working so well together. Except that he’d decided to work with the rebels, because they needed him more than Voltron did. Or at least that was how it had seemed. Now he couldn’t help wondering if his absence had cost them anything. Not their lives, thankfully, from the sound of it. But still.
Then he caught the rest of what Shiro was saying. “What happened to you?”
--
Shiro shook his head a little, trying to dissuade Matt from worrying too much.
“It’s not that ominous,” he promised. “Keith said that I take command of a ship, so I’m able to help support Voltron during the fight.” It was good to know. Much as he said he wanted a chance to rest, he knew that he also needed a way to support the team. He wasn’t the Black Paladin anymore, but he was glad to have a new role.
Shiro paused.
“Also,” he said finally, “Keith said that Adam was killed during the initial attack by the Galra.”
…
“Oh,” Matt said, relieved. He was glad to hear that nothing else had gone wrong with Shiro. He had been through enough.
But his relief was short-lived. Nothing else had happened to Shiro, maybe, but Adam’s death would definitely hurt him anyway. Matt wasn’t unaffected either. “Oh no,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
He moved forward and gave Shiro a hug, holding onto him.
--
Shiro wrapped his arm around Matt’s back, holding him close, comforted by having him near.
“It feels surreal,” Shiro said quietly. He knew that he couldn’t have been unaffected by this news, but Keith and Matt both made it seem like it was his loss, but -- “He hadn’t been mine for such a long time.”
…
Matt nodded against Shiro’s shoulder. “Yeah. These updates… knowing the future… it all feels really weird. Hearing about it never felt entirely real either.”
Still. Adam and Shiro hadn’t been together in a long time, but it still mattered. People you had once loved didn’t just leave your heart entirely. “I heard there were a lot of casualties on Earth. Not just in the battle, but when the Galra attacked, and while they were in control. Pidge said our mom and dad are okay though.”
--
“I’m really glad to hear that,” Shiro said. The Holts were some of the best people that he knew, and Sam had stuck up for him more than once at the Garrison. Colleen, of course, was a force of nature. There was no wondering where Pidge got that side of herself from. Shiro had always been welcome at their house.
And, of course, they had given more than enough for the safety of the universe.
…
“I’m glad you and the team are all getting through the fight on Earth, too,” Matt said, with a small smile. “I’m sure I’ll find out about it and get back to help you rebuild soon enough.”
He said it confidently, though part of him couldn’t help being worried. He just wanted to be able to confirm that he would get back, but unless someone here remembered it now, there was no way to do that except wait for the next round of memory updates.
--
“I really hope so, Matt,” Shiro said. “I miss you so much.” There had been many hard parts of being trapped in the Black Lion, but the awareness that Matt had returned and that Kuron had been the one to greet him had hurt Shiro quite a bit.
…
“Really?” Matt asked, surprised. He was chiefly surprised by the way Shiro had phrased it, in the present tense, as if he was missing Matt here. Where they lived together, and had traveled together, and spent lots of time together. Back home, it made more sense; Shiro hadn’t actually seen Matt this entire time. “Here, too?”
--
“No, not here,” Shiro said, pulling away to grin at Matt and put his hand to Matt’s face. “Here, I have as much of you as I can stand. Back home … it was just weird glimpsing everyone else’s reactions to you being back, but not actually being able to be there myself.”
…
“Oh, good,” Matt said, and then, “I think. Or should I be offended by that?” He was grinning, though, and obviously not offended. He sobered a moment later, and nodded. “I know. It’s hard knowing that I hadn’t actually been with you… the real you… back there. And I still don’t know when I will.”
--
“No,” Shiro said with a grin. “I think the only way we could physically spend more time together is if we started sharing a bed, and I don’t know how Alice and Tony would feel about having that many people cuddle together.”
He also grew a little more serious at the mention of back home.
“I know. It is just good to know you’re safe.”
…
Matt snorted. “I don’t know about Alice, but Tony probably wouldn’t mind at all, so don’t suggest that in front of him unless you’re actually interested.”
He knew Shiro was joking, but he was pretty sure Tony would not mind that at all. Neither would Matt, for that matter. But he remembered Alice being jealous of Allura, so he wasn’t going to say that. Just in case it indicated more interest in the reality of that than was comfortable for either of them.
He smiled softly. “I was safe, or as safe as anyone can be in the war we’re fighting. I’ve gotten lucky, as injuries go.” Superstitiously, he reached out and knocked on the wood counter.
--
Shiro laughed. There were few upsides to everything that they had been through, but how close everyone on the team was was definitely one of them.
“You deserve a little luck after everything,” Shiro said seriously. Being alive sometimes felt like the only stroke of luck they had been granted. What were the chances, after all, that the Galra would find three human scientists on a tiny moon at the fringes of what they knew?
…
“Me,” Matt said, a little disbelievingly, but amused. “You’re my good luck, Shiro. You were from the very beginning. Hopefully you’ll get some of that good luck soon yourself.”
Matt didn’t really believe strongly in luck -- not in the superstitious sense anyway, there was certainly luck in the randomness of chances -- but if anyone had needed good luck, really, it seemed like it was Shiro. And if he had believed any more strongly in it, he might have considered the possibility that all of Shiro’s good luck had gone to Matt when he’d saved him. That was a completely irrational notion, though.
--
“I don’t think anyone can get more luck than being brought back from the dead, Mattie,” Shiro answered. He also considered himself lucky in that they hadn’t lose any of the team. That was a hurt that Shiro didn’t think he would know what to do with or even survive.
…
Matt looked at him intently, to make sure he meant it. Then he shook his head fondly, and hugged Shiro again, tightly. It was just like him to see the silver lining -- the part where he’d been brought back from the dead -- as the most important thing, instead of just all the awful things that had happened to him. Matt was sure he did see those things, too. But he still did a really good job of putting a spin on it.
“You are seriously, like, the best person I know,” he said, into Shiro’s shoulder.