InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Truth doesn't make a noise."

Illya Kuryakin (redperilous) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2018-06-16 21:36:00

Entry tags:

!network post, illya kuryakin, quentin coldwater

DM to Quentin Coldwater

I wish to ask you something that is of a rather sensitive nature.

(Post a new comment)

	king_quentin 2018-06-17 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Oh? What kind of sensitive are we talking? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	redperilous 2018-06-17 01:55 am UTC (link)
	It is personal, so if you do not wish to answer, I will understand. Have you ever been involved in a relationship with two other people at the same time? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	king_quentin 2018-06-17 01:58 am UTC (link)
	I answer pretty much everything. [...] I have, yes. My wife Arielle, Eliot, and I. It was a life that both existed and didn't. Eliot and I raised our son together after Arielle died. Is this about Napoleon? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redperilous 2018-06-17 02:04 am UTC (link)
	Your world is strange in that way, but the sort of relationship is still the same. Yes, it is. Did this relationship work? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

king_quentin
2018-06-17 02:11 am UTC (link)

Yeah. We got the memories back after we got to Fillory. It's [...] well, it doesn't matter, I guess. That part's not the part that matters.

The thing about polyamorous relationships is that everyone has to be on the same page and communication is important. I loved Eliot first, but Arielle took me by surprise. I made sure I was honest about it. To both of them. I mean, no relationship is easy and they take a lot of work. Eliot and I had fights sometimes. Sometimes Arielle and I did. Sometimes we all did. It's just [...] we loved each other. It's not always enough for this sort of situation, but if you have the right people and you're all willing to work through things together, yeah. It goes pretty well. He cares for you both a great deal and I can't speak for anyone's feelings a hundred percent, but...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

redperilous
2018-06-17 02:16 am UTC (link)

Napoleon admitted to Gaby and I that he had feelings for both of us and the discussion continued from there. We are considering if such a relationship could be right for us.

I love Gaby, but I have feelings for Napoleon as well. The feelings I had for him never really went away after he and I stopped sleeping together. I did not want to hurt Gaby though, because I love her dearly.

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king_quentin
2018-06-17 02:31 am UTC (link)

Yeah. He mentioned it to me. I told him if it was a possibility for him, he should pursue it. ~~I told him early on~~ ~~I think~~

That is a part of it. Figuring out if it's right for you. I can't tell you if it is or isn't. That's something you all have to figure out. I can, in fact, tell you that feelings never really listen to logic. ~~I still~~ I I still love Eliot, but his happiness was something I had to consider here. He was in a relationship before we remembered ours. ~~There's too many players in this situation for me to feel that anything with us could continue to work. He has Kylo and Fen. Four's a crowd. But~~ [...] So just be honest with each other and yourselves. Keep talking to each other. Those are the main things to consider.

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	redperilous 2018-06-17 02:36 am UTC (link)
	I am quite aware that feelings are not logical. It is why I have my reservations about this being a suitable arrangement for us. Just because we feel it does not mean that it can work in reality, though I have known it to work with others, which is why I am exploring it. I am sorry that you are not able to be with him here, then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

king_quentin
2018-06-17 03:05 am UTC (link)

Just [...] see how it goes? I don't know what other advice to give. If you feel that it's not what you want or if Gaby doesn't, then you have to be honest with each other about it. But it's hard to know if you don't try. I don't know. Eliot, Arielle, and I sort of fell into it. I'm not saying it was always easy, but I loved them both. Rupert loved all of us. He never thought anything of our relationship. Eliot and I were together all the way up until he died. I don't regret it.

It's [...] it is what it is. I leave myself open to the possibility of love. I just don't know where to look for it or where I might find it. I don't regret letting him go either. Even if it's like punching myself in the heart. I did it for him. That's more important than selfishly clinging to something that doesn't belong to me anymore.

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	redperilous 2018-06-18 02:56 am UTC (link)
	Yes, we plan to be very honest with each other. Gaby is not sure if she can feel about Napoleon like that. I do not wish to hurt her in all of this though. I have never loved a person as much as I love her. I want you to find happiness because you deserve that, Quentin. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

king_quentin
2018-06-18 03:05 am UTC (link)

It's not for everyone, so I guess you'll know in time if it's something that's going to work for the three of you. Arielle and Eliot loved each other, but they were never in love with each other. We made it work, but I also made a fucking mess of relationships before that. I wish I could fully explain our family, but I don't know if I have the words I want.

Yeah. I try to remember that every day. Even if a relationship never sticks, I think I'll find a way to be happy. I have to.

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	redperilous 2018-06-18 11:02 pm UTC (link)
	I worry about making a mess of things, especially with the two of them. The only person I have ever cared for as much as them is my mother. You should try to find someone who wishes to only be with you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	king_quentin 2018-06-18 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Well, that’s not really an unreasonable way to feel. You just have to do what’s best for you, best for your relationship I’m not concerned so much about the only me, but at least maybe someone who doesn’t have feelings for someone else and mentally there most of the time is perhaps my best bet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redperilous 2018-06-20 12:52 am UTC (link)
	Usually that goes hand in hand, having someone who loves only you and wants to be with only you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	king_quentin 2018-06-20 02:45 am UTC (link)
	I’ve had it twice so far. Fucked it up pretty royally the first time. Sometimes I’m just not great with things. Guess we’ll see how it goes, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redperilous 2018-06-21 01:55 am UTC (link)
	Yes. Perhaps take time to decide what you truly want, then seek a person who fulfills these needs. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	king_quentin 2018-06-21 02:12 am UTC (link)
	Yes. I think that’s my best bet. I hope you all figure something out and that whatever it is, you’re happy. All of you deserve that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redperilous 2018-06-22 02:12 am UTC (link)
	You do too, Quentin. Do not forget this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	king_quentin 2018-06-22 02:14 am UTC (link)
	I won't. (Reply to this) (Parent)