Kylo/Sam
I don't think anyone really enjoys talking about their mistakes or the bad things that have happened to them. It's a pretty big part of who you are though, I'd wager.
When you look back and think it was a bad call, do you mean it was a bad call knowing what you know now, or a bad call with the information you had at the time? Because those can be very different things. The first one's a problem with acting on incomplete information, the second one's a problem with how you make decisions or how the consequences you expect match up to reality.
Living up to what someone else wants you to be is always hard. It can be easy to get lost in it, until the things you want become so small and unimportant that you can't recognise them anymore. Being able to say what you don't want is a good first step on figuring out what you do want though, it's more things you can rule out.