The Metacrisis Doctor (handysparehand) wrote in the_tardis_trap, @ 2011-06-19 03:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | the metacrisis doctor : handysparehand |
Who: Metacrisis Doctor, open
What: The Doctor is unable to reconcile being part human, part Time Lord
Where: The Wardrobe
When: Now (i.e. at some unholy hour of the night when he should be in bed)
Rating: TBD
Status: OPEN
The Doctor didn't like to admit it, but he was afraid. Lost and afraid and entirely unable to sort out the timelines that were tangling in his awareness like so much frayed string left to unravel in the wind. So many of the possibilities he saw ended badly, and those that didn't were muddled, as if someone had smeared mud across a camera lense then taken a picture. He wished with everything in him that he could piece together the fragments to create a cohesive whole. He wished that he knew how to help the TARDIS, heal her of whatever harm had befallen her. He wanted, perhaps for the first time in his life, to go home, and for the first time in his life, home wasn't fields of red grass spread beneath an orange sky, or a glass dome ensconscing the city so easily seen from the slopes of Mount Perdition. Home was a deserted beach in Norway, a crowded street in London, a zeppelin coasting easily against a backdrop of blue, and neatly mowed lawns of green in parks so closely surrounded by highrises that even if there were mountains, you wouldn't be able to see them.
More than at any other time in his life, the Doctor felt as though he were running out of time. Human bodies wore down so quickly, and feeling time as he did, he couldn't ignore that the rest of his life would now be counted in decades rather than centuries ... and only if he were lucky. He raised his hand, that handy spare hand Jack had found following the Sycorax invasion, and wondered how much of this body he had now was still Time Lord.
Not all of the terrifying possibilities tied into the fractured TARDIS. Some he could see stretching from the metacrisis itself. Those were the timelines that ensured he wouldn't sleep tonight.