"No," Sirius reached out and took Remus' hands between his own. He needed Remus to understand. "Remus, I've wanted this, to, to be with you. I've wanted it for so long, and now when we finally get here, Moony, it was so good. I wanted to be like that, with you, so badly. But then all I could see was him." He shuddered again.
"Remus," he looked up, eyes desperate with hope. "I, I love you. I always have. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I let Ma," he couldn't say it. "That I let him ruin something that should just been ours."
There. He'd said it. He knew it was a lot, probably too much, to ask for. But he was done hiding this.