Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I've seen a different light."

Narcissa Black (blonde_black) wrote in the_recruitment,
@ 2012-02-20 02:12:00

Entry tags:

! 02/1977, ! complete, ! thread, char: narcissa black, char: severus snape

Who: Severus & Narcissa
What: Comfort
When: Backdated to after this confrontation
Where: Severus' dorm room
Rating: PG
Status: Complete

Narcissa was more than upset about her recent conversation with Lucius, even though there seemed to be some interest on his part towards the end. He was always so mysterious, never telling her the whole truth. Why couldn't he just be honest? Was he afraid she would spill it throughout Hogwarts for everyone to know? She had put her heart on the table and he had taken it in his hands and crushed it. She felt ridiculous for making herself seem so vulnerable and for telling him how she truly felt. Now she worried that he would use that against her and she hated being used.

She had no one else to turn to at the moment. Alecto would have been a good choice as she may have been plotting revenge as well, but she didn't want to get comfort from another girl. She needed a man's comfort. Avery was out of the question as she wasn't so sure she could fool him. No, she wanted someone who truly cared about her and that person was Severus Snape.

So she found herself standing outside the boys dormitory, knocking on the door. "Severus? Are you in there? It's me, Narcissa." She tried to make her voice not shake with disappointment, to sound demanding as it usually did. She could only hope he was alone and not fooled.

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blonde_black
2012-02-20 10:38 am UTC (link)

Narcissa felt relief rush through her as the door opened and Severus was there. She didn't even notice the look on his face, just allowed herself to be ushered inside and she glanced around. No one else was there which she was grateful for. She couldn't help herself, she needed to be held. She walked forward towards him, wrapping her arms around him. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. He actually smelled very nice. Not the kind of costly smell like Lucius, but natural and comforting.

"It's been a hard day," she said, pulling back. She could only figure he didn't much care to be touched like that and didn't want to push him away either. "Do you have anything to drink? I need a drink." Without asking, she walked over to his bed and sat down, her hands in her lap. She certainly wasn't the Narcissa Black she usually showed to people. But that's what she liked about Severus. While she treated him the same way, she knew he didn't care what she was like. For some reason, he always just accepted her for whoever she was. Why can't Lucius do the same?

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severusnape
2012-02-20 10:50 am UTC (link)

"I —" he tried, but then she was bloody hugging him and he didn't know what to think; he just stood there with an almost dumbfounded look on his face, feeling immensely uncomfortable. And then she was pulling away almost as quickly as she'd latched onto him. Watching her with curious and slightly annoyed eyes, he observed her nonchalantly sit on his bed without any invitation. Shaking his head, he just sighed and headed to his trunk, knowing that he wouldn't complain. That was the sort of strange friendship that they had; he usually befuddled by her openness, and she quite willing to be friendly with him. It was an odd relationship that seemed to work.

"I have something that Lucius gave me a while back... 'course, the git should have known that I would never use it..." his voice trailed as he dug deeper toward the bottom of his trunk. Triumphantly, he smirked at the bottle of firewhiskey as he brought it up, lifting his head to face her. The slightly oily fringe fell into his eyes, making him look entirely too boyish. With a quick blow upward, the fringe swayed to the side as he stood, joining Narcissa on his bed [though not as close as she would've sat if their positions were reversed].

"Will this do?" Severus queried, giving her an innocent, yet somewhat concerned look. Why exactly was it that she even needed a drink? He was fairly certain that he already knew.

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blonde_black
2012-02-20 10:54 am UTC (link)

Narcissa made a face when he said Lucius had given him the drink he was rummaging for. For some reason it seemed fitting; drinking away the thought of Lucius with something he had given to someone else. She sighed again, her hands clasped together in her lap. She replayed the whole thing over in her head. She had been so upset at him in the beginning, and then he had given her the gift and then she had felt so relieved and then...oh, the gift. She suddenly remembered that she had left it in the classroom. Forget it. You would not want to wear it again after what he did to you.

She looked at the bottle Severus handed to her and nodded, taking her wand to open it. "It will do," she said, setting her wand on his bedside table and taking a rather large gulp of the stuff. She winced, coughing a little and handing the bottle back to Severus. "Please drink with me," she said. There was nothing sadder than a girl drinking alone. She may as well have fun and have Severus drink with her. It would make it easier to open up and talk about the day's events without worrying that he may remember it the next morning.

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severusnape
2012-02-20 11:05 am UTC (link)

Severus merely watched the expressions flit across her face, each one bringing a new theory to mind. However, the most likely situation was that Lucius used her again, in some way. He had made it clear to his friend how much he thought about others' feelings, so it didn't seem implausible. Choosing not to ruminate on the idea aloud, he just gave Narcissa a disgusted look as he saw her take a swig. He never touched the stuff; his 'father' had made sure to turn him off of alcohol for likely the rest of his life.

"I don't really drink," he tried, but then he thought more about his theory, took in her expression, her posture, and her generally dejected air, all of which caused him to sigh defeatedly and take the bottle from her. With a quick motion, he knocked back the awful stuff and felt the burn, managing to hold back the cough as he tensed his jaw.

After a few seconds of feeling the searing sensation travelling like a flaming rock down into his stomach, he turned to her and grimaced. "This ridiculous drink will give you ulcers in the long run. Are you trying to kill yourself slowly?"

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blonde_black
2012-02-20 11:09 am UTC (link)

"Perhaps," she said, feeling a little more relaxed as the Firewhiskey made it's way into her belly. The warmth spread throughout her whole body and she felt at ease. She kicked off her shoes and moved to lay on Severus' bed, propping herself up by the backboard. "Although I do not think I would actually kill myself. Just kill the pain that I'm feeling now." She reached for the bottle and took another swig, smaller this time. Yes, this was exactly what she wanted.

"Did I interrupt anything?" she asked, her manners suddenly coming to her. "I apologize for the intrusion. I just needed a good friend." It wasn't within her nature to be so endearing, but Severus was perhaps her only true friend. She could be completely honest with him and not fear what he thought of her. For some reason, he just accepted her. It was a nice feeling. If he wasn't a halfblood, she may have even been interested in him. Well, and if he ever washed his hair.

She reached out and took a lock between her fingers, rubbing it. A frown creased her face and she shook her head. "Really Severus, you spend too much time with your books and potions. When was the last time you took care of yourself?"

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severusnape
2012-02-20 11:24 am UTC (link)

Narcissa's reply wasn't wholly unexpected. She had just confirmed his theory merely by the reply that he thought long and hard on. Surely she wouldn't actually do anything to herself; her name was aptly given, after all. Severus was fairly certain that he knew no one as self-infatuated as the pureblood witch who sat so easily upon his bed. Well, no one else but Lucius Malfoy, who was most certainly the source of this anguish. He shook his head, thinking how perfect a bloody pair they would make, and immediately resenting the thought. Something about that mental image didn't sit right with him.

As she quickly shifted the conversation, Severus looked down at the bits of parchment that were scattered here and there, his quill and ink pot shifted somewhere, likely making a mess. "Nothing but dark spell creation; you know, my usual manifesto." And then she shifted topics again, causing his expression to reflect the befuddlement of earlier. The feeling of having her hand touching his hair was both bewildering and strangely comforting. But then sense kicked in, causing him to swat her hand away, offering another grimace.

"I do take care of myself, my hair is simply of a highly oily nature," he muttered, feeling the need to defend himself. The hair potions that he'd tried had all failed miserably, so he'd just resigned himself to his nature.

"Why should you care how I look or what I do, anyhow? You never complained before." Hoping that she might feel up to being honest, he pulled the bottle from her and took a larger mouthful this time, suddenly feeling the need to be lubricated for this conversation.

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blonde_black
2012-02-21 01:08 am UTC (link)

"Dark spell creation? Severus, you are certainly a bright wizard. I'm amazed at all you do." She pushed a piece of parchment with the tip of her toe, squinting to look at the handwriting. She couldn't make much out of the scribbling, but she was sure it was something fascinating. Severus always came up with the most interesting things. While she was rather good at Potions, Severus always took it one step further, coming up with his own ingenious things. He was even able to find little fluctuation here and there, things that could be improved on with potions that were more well known.

She looked over at him as she heard the defense in his voice and her shoulders drooped a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," she said. "I'm sure I can find a hair potion just right for you. I'm sure you would like to be rid of it as well." She gave him a reassuring smile and reached for the bottle he had taken away, another shot of pure fire sliding down her throat. She felt very light suddenly and she laid against the pillows, her eyes closed for a moment.

"It was just an observation," she said, her eyes still closed. "I was just thinking how attractive you actually are." The truth seemed to just spill out and she opened her eyes, glancing over at him. "I mean, you know. If one were to think of you in that way." She closed her eyes again, as if that would make the comment disappear between them. But it was true. Between his sensitive nature with her and his dark brooding looks, he wasn't half bad.

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severusnape
2012-02-21 05:55 am UTC (link)

"I'll take that as a compliment," he replied. Narcissa seemed to be in a talkative mood, and Severus did not do talkative. He pulled the bottle from her and took a heftier swig, the burning transforming into a numb sensation that spread to his toes.

"And I hardly need a hair potion," he all but snarled, but then lowered his tone and watched her carefully. Severus was perfectly happy with the way he appeared, feeling that any alteration would turn him into as much of a soppy imitation of a real man as some others in his House, or even in the Wizarding world at large. He was never a large believer in grooming to excess nor in dressing in overly elaborate attire [not that he could afford anything particularly fancy, his mind mocked].

At the second half of her little 'speech', Severus became stumped. He didn't know whether he should respond, wave it off, or feign having not heard it at all. Narcissa had never been this open with her thoughts before; a little voice within him urged that it wanted to see more of this behaviour. Gazing idly at her, he noted her comfortable position on his bed and chose to get more comfortable, himself, forgetting about the parchments and quills and spells, and just focusing on the moment as he leaned backward against a few pillows. Perhaps it was the alcohol's influence, which provided a pleasantly warm haze across his brain, but he opened his mouth and the last thing that he expected came out:

"And do you agree with the notion that opposites attract? Merely looking at us, you are the epitome of purity, and I, the bane of darkness."

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blonde_black
2012-02-21 06:21 am UTC (link)

"As you should!" she said, giggling. For some reason she found that extremely funny and she couldn't stop for a moment. When she was able to composed herself, she sighed, opening her eyes to look at him. But he wasn't there anymore. Where was he? She lifted her head and saw him laying down at the end.

"You're right," she said, giving a derisive nod of her head. "You don't need a hair potion. If you didn't look the way you looked, why...then you wouldn't be you!" She suddenly felt like she had said the most philosophic thing she had ever uttered and her eyes grew wide. She suddenly realized that it was true. While she may have teased him about his hair, if it hadn't been greasy, she wouldn't have cared for it because it wouldn't have been him. Could it actually be that she liked him for just...who he was? No blood status involved, no financial cares, no worries about his looks...she liked him because he was Severus.

"Are you saying you're attracted to me?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips. "But I don't know about me being the epitome of purity." She shook her head. "And you? You're not all darkness. Sure, you broody and moody, but you're also sweet and considerate and you look out for those you really care about." Was she one of those he cared about? She had to be. He was always there for her, even as she complained and vented about Lucius. She was beginning to see a pattern through the haze and she squinted, blinking as if it would help her see better.

"Because you care about me, right?" She voiced her question, a finger running up his foot very lightly. I wonder if he's ticklish...

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severusnape
2012-02-21 06:41 am UTC (link)

She was getting more talkative, and more familiar, yet for some reason, it didn't bother him anymore. Nothing really seemed to as a gratifying rush of heat zinged through his entire body, starting at his now sensitive toes and moving upward. Severus allowed himself a smile at the sensation, finally listening to the conversation and chiming in accordingly.

"Narcissa, your deductions are sheer brilliance. As is your expression. Most of your expressions, really. They seem to radiate." If he'd been more sober, he might have realised what he'd said; as it was, he was blissfully ensnared by liquid courage as he plowed onward. "I really care about you, if you'd ever wondered before today —" But then her finger was touching his sensitive foot and he couldn't help but sharply jerk it away, causing him to throw himself off balance and land face first into her legs. For the love of Salazar, even her legs smelled good.

Before he could give himself a chance to nuzzle her bloody legs, he sat up abruptly more toward the middle of the bed. Closer to Narcissa than before. And slowly scooting more toward her. Somewhere amidst the haze, his mind was baffled at his actions. His body, on the other hand, had other ideas as he let himself prop up beside her against the headboard, looking at her with a sideways smile. Severus Snape never smiled this much. What had she done to him?!

"The moonlight is flattering on your face, Narcissa," he uttered, voice soft.

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blonde_black
2012-02-21 06:55 am UTC (link)

He was making her giggle again. Why had she never noticed how funny he was? "Any of my expressions?" she asked between the laughs. "Even this expression?" She made a silly face before she erupted into another fit of giggles. They were cut short as he rolled over and she shrieked and giggled, trying to push him off.

"Severus Snape, what are you doing?" she said, gasping for breath. And then he was suddenly right by her and everything wasn't funny anymore. She blinked at how close he had gotten, but she didn't care. She liked it. She hadn't been this close with someone since...She shook her head and propped her head up with a hand.

"The moonlight?" she asked, her voice suddenly soft. She looked at him lazily, a small smile still on her face. She reached out and traced another line, this time down his face. He was actually quite handsome really. Handsome and sweet. Why couldn't she fall for someone like Severus? He would treat her right, care about her the way she should be cared about.

"Severus, would you ever date me? Or am I too stuck up?"

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severusnape
2012-02-21 07:11 am UTC (link)

Her laughs and giggles were quite enjoyable, Severus decided. If he would remember this night, he would try to make her laugh more, whether at his own expense or not, it hardly mattered. All he knew then was that he wanted to see Narcissa always happy and smiling. It turned into a personal goal, one that would encompass his being even after the night was over, after they'd remember who they are. His dark gaze watched her intently, admiring even the goofy expressions. Another smile was given and he nodded with almost every word that she said.

"Everything about you is beautiful." It was said in hushed tones as he was progressively getting closer to her entirely without notice. It just seemed natural to want to hover over her as he spoke such sweet nothings.

"Narcissa, if you were to ask me about dating you when we hadn't been drinking," his mind finally able to get in a few words while he looked at her entirely too comfortably, "I may surprise myself with my answer. But as it is... my status..." All of a sudden, that didn't seem important. The only thing that was lay right beside him, looking so sweet and innocent.

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blonde_black
2012-02-21 07:21 am UTC (link)

She felt a blush rise to her cheeks as he complimented her. Beautiful. Of course she knew this, she was a Black after all. But it wasn't something she actually heard all the time. She said it out loud to others almost to reassure herself, but it wasn't the same as having someone say it to her. She smiled, a genuine one that she rarely showed anyone. "You're sweet," she said, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. Her index finger traced curly cues on his shirt, sliding down his arm and landing on his hand. She looked up at him before taking his hand and bringing it up in front of their faces, their palms touching.

"Then pretend we are not drinking," she said, grinning. "We are just being normal and I'm asking you sincerely. Would you date me?" She didn't pay mind to the status he meant. In her daze, she thought that he might be insinuating that he was not single, but interested in another girl. Like she didn't know who that harlot was. He had been in love with that Evans girl for as long as she could remember. But nothing would ever come of that. Especially not now, not when she needed him.

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severusnape
2012-02-21 07:43 am UTC (link)

"Narcissa, I —" His mouth shut when he felt her take his hand. This was an entirely unexpected turn. Not that he didn't appreciate it fully. Something inside of him tried to warn him that this wasn't real, that it wouldn't be like this the next day or the next when they would have to face one another. All sorts of warnings went off, and yet, Severus ignored them with a firm resolve.

"Since we are being normal... then yes, without a second thought." It was stated matter-of-factly, gaze unwavering with the sheer honesty of the moment. There was a war raging within him that he carefully concealed, trying so very hard to just concentrate on her. The hazy warmth was barely starting to abate, but he still had enough of the liquid courage surging through his system to turn bring their joined palms to his lips, lingering upon her hand as it placed a feather-light kiss. The smile that blossomed against her skin was unlike any that had ever graced his normally dark and uninviting features.

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blonde_black
2012-02-21 07:54 am UTC (link)

She hadn't noticed, but she had been holding her breath, waiting for his response. She felt this rush of relief and she smiled, almost jumping on Severus and wrapping her arms around him. Again, his scent seemed to envelope her and she couldn't help but take a deep breath again, as if she were trying to get a lasting impression of him.

"You always make me feel so wonderful Severus," she said, her face buried in his shirt, her words muffled. "I want to be with you. I know it shouldn't be, but you're the only person to truly care about me. And that's more important than anything else." She pulled back, slowly moving herself to be on eye level with him. She searched his eyes, wanting to know if he was just telling her the things he knew she wanted to hear, if he would play her like Lucius had. But all she saw was genuine care; perhaps a bit of confusion and hesitation, but that was to be expected. She smiled, leaning in closer so their lips were just brushing.

"Will you have me?" she asked, before kissing him.

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severusnape
2012-02-21 08:39 am UTC (link)

He took in everything that she had to say, relishing it as he had hardly allowed himself to enjoy much else. Memories of past happinesses were layered over with the present, helping to heal old wounds. It would be a long process, but even despite the last softly buzzing warning in his head, Severus gave in to this ray of hope. His hands briefly dared to run over her shoulders when she'd pushed herself close to him, regretting it when she pulled back, a slight sigh escaping his lips.

They were so close now that he could feel his breath bouncing back at him from her cheek. That soft cheek that begged to be touched. A hand gave in to the urge as he replied with barely above a whisper, eyes glued on the delicate skin, "I care Narcissa, I care beyond words."

And then she was so close and his hand was tracing her jaw until it reached the side of her neck. He kissed her back with a gentle pressure before pulling fractionally away. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable even now.

"Only if you'll have me," he whispered reverently, before smiling against her lips, darkly swirling eyes shutting in contentment.

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blonde_black
2012-02-21 08:51 am UTC (link)

They were small words, nothing overpowering or flourished. Just the simple truth and that was good enough for Narcissa. She smiled into the kiss and pulled herself closer to him, deepening the kiss. She knew that tonight couldn't go much further than this, but she was content. His kisses were sweet and sensual, nothing overly eager or wet.

"I will," she said, her smile growing. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. So this was what it was like to be truly happy. To be interested in someone and to have them genuinely want them back. Nothing hurt, nothing was unsure. There was only Narcissa and Severus, two people who cared for each other. Her hand slid around to play with a button on his shirt, wanting to undo it, but not wanting to make it go too far. Still, her fingers played around with it, slipping it out of the hole, allowing enough space for her hand to slip in. His chest was cool and surprisingly fit. She never thought Severus was out of shape, but she never thought he would have a body like this. She shivered suddenly, the warmth of the Firewhiskey fading just a little.

"May I stay here tonight?" she asked, her voice still in a whisper. She didn't want to assume anything funny, but for the moment, the thought of falling asleep in Severus' arms was very pleasing.

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severusnape
2012-02-21 09:21 am UTC (link)

Whatever deities or entities existed, Severus thanked them all most profusely. He was fully aware of everything that was happening, the alcohol's effects abruptly halting as though frozen in place. Everything was enhanced: sight, smell, touch, taste. Merlin Narcissa tasted good. There was a faint scent of raspberries that surrounded her, translating into taste as Severus let himself linger on her every little attribute. He would have to remember to conjure up a little dish that his mother had taught him; she had been fond of raspberries, too. The kisses never turned into anything too intense, and somehow, that seemed entirely appropriate to their current situation; it left a lightness in the air that felt comfortable.

With her soft body so close, he was finding it difficult to think, much less talk. And did she have to let her fingers play with his button like that? He focused his heated gaze on the movement of those delicate digits, so lady-like yet, he imagined, capable of unspeakable wickedness. Her subsequent touch made him shudder and he pulled her closer to him, allowing his nose to nuzzle into her neck while he merely nodded his assent, finding it difficult to get his voice past the frog in his throat. How he longed for those soft lips to pull words from him.

Eventually sense kicked in and as difficult it was to pull even a bit away from her, he needed to reach for his wand to pile his scattered belongings neatly into his trunk with a muttered anti-clutter spell. Next came the emerald green curtains, which wrapped them in their protective shield against prying eyes. For good measure, and with a brief glance at Narcissa's face as though he felt guilty, he spoke a silencing charm.

"In case we want to talk, or..." Severus left the rest unspoken, merely setting his wand down on his bedside and pulling her close again, letting himself relax into the bed and against her.

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