InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "For the love of moldly oats!"

Lily Potter (doed) wrote in the_recruitment,
@ 2012-02-11 03:39:00

Entry tags:

! 02/1977, ! complete, ! thread, char: lily evans, char: severus snape

Who: Lily & Severus
What: Lily was disturbed by Severus mysteriously leaving their journal conversation and wants to find him so she can hit him...not because she's actually concerned
When: Backdated to 02/10
Where: An abandoned classroom in the dungeons
Status: Complete
Rating: R for self infliction

It had been a heated argument and Lily had been more than surprised to see his last two journal comments. When had he turned to hate her so vilely? He was the one who had turned on her! Still, he knew her temper, he knew what she could be like when upset or angry. She was defensive and she had said something that was hurtful but true...ok, not true, but something she had hoped would hurt him as much as he had hurt her. It wasn't fair and now she was running through the halls of Hogwarts, her mind on only him.

She knew he would be in the dungeons, he wouldn't have written anywhere else. She scowled as she continued to run, upset at herself for being weak and for knowing him so well. It could have just been a papercut, she scolded herself, but it didn't slow her down at all. By the time she had reached the dungeons she was out of breath, but she only took a quick second before looking in all the classrooms, hoping to see a familiar set of greasy hair.

She came upon him in the third classroom she looked in, one a little bit off from the Potions classroom. She couldn't really be surprised, but opened the door. As soon as she did, she placed a hand over her mouth. He was huddled in the corner, but from where she stood, she could see the blood.

"Oh Merlin, Severus, Severus!" She hurried over to him, their earlier arguments forgotten. She gingerly picked up his head and placed her ear by his mouth, trying to steady her own breath to hear his. She felt her heart beat again when she felt the light air blow back on her skin. "Severus, what have you done?" She looked down and saw the cuts he had made on his arm, tears springing into her eyes. She had been upset, she had been hurt, but she had never wanted this. She gingerly laid his head in her lap before she began to tear her robe in shreds. She needed to stop the bleeding, but she didn't dare leave him to get a potion. She would do things the muggle way. She almost laughed when she thought about it. Muggle knowledge was going to save Severus...hopefully.

"Severus, can you hear me?" she asked, her voice a little louder than a whisper. "Severus, wake up."

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severusnape
2012-02-11 12:16 pm UTC (link)

He could feel the heat engulfing him in simultaneous rage and overwhelming sadness, eyes trailing the last few lines of their correspondence. He'd gritted his teeth, bearing it as best he could, but he felt his heart hammering within his chest; he could feel the pulse throbbing in his arm, along his wrist, pounding in his head...

In a whirl of all sorts of emotions, Severus threw the journal to the cold floor and trembling hands tore into his robe, searching for the familiar metal that had brought him so much comfort over the last few months. The tears blinded his vision as he lined the muggle razor against his left inner arm, slicing a few times and watching the blood seep out in a thin line, getting thicker with each cut. When he reached his forearm, he cried out in hopelessness and dug deeper, feeling the pain and a wave of nausea overcome him. The first few drops fell into his open journal before he fell over from his sitting position, the journal skidding from him and landing in a nearby corner. He groaned at the pain and watched, fascinatedly, as the tiny streams of blood grew in size, mingling with one another and gushing down his arm and onto the floor. His robes were starting to get wet with it and the heat of the streams surprised him when it started soaking into his clothing.

Bleary-eyed, he dropped his head, shutting his eyes and feeling his pulse slowing down a bit, each minute reducing the thudding and subsequently making him feel better... but so much worse. The haze was overcoming him to a point where all he saw was misty energies rising from the jarred plant and animal remains dotted around the classroom, as though they were still alive and mocking him as his own life threatened to leave him. He hadn't done enough damage to pass out just yet, but he felt himself getting sleepier; so tempted to answer the call.

Barely hearing the commotion in the hallway; doors being slammed and feet hitting the floor. When it got closer and the voice called out, his senses were so numb that all he could do was blink slowly, not moving his head from the awkward angle. He hardly felt the hands reaching for him and feeling for breath as the faint tears coated his vision till she was just another mist figure like the rest. Partly opened eyes of sable looked far off, glassy, and if she were to let him linger in that state any longer, he might finally be claimed by the great black figure that had been squeezing onto his heart since last year. Somehow, with what little control over his muscles that he had, he managed a wistful smile at the thought of peace.

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doed
2012-02-11 12:24 pm UTC (link)

Lily mistook his smile as a sign that he knew she was there, that she had come to help him. "I'm here Severus," she said, brushing back the tears and stroking his hair. "Please, stay with me. Don't close your eyes. Stay awake." She wanted to be sure he wouldn't fall asleep or close his eyes. She felt scared and desperate; she knew he needed medical attention and fast, but she didn't want to leave him, even to get the nurse. Plus, if she did that, they would only hold him longer thinking himself a threat to himself. Being out of touch with him for so long, she didn't know how long this was going on, but wanted to find out first hand.

"Severus, I'm going to try and stop the bleeding," she said, her hand continuing to stroke his hair. "I don't have any potions, so I'm going to try and clear this up with a spell." She didn't know if it would hurt him, but thought it better to prepare him as best she could. Without taking her eyes off his face, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wand to point at the wounds. She whispered the incantation, praying it would be enough. She watched as some of the smaller wounds closed, but the biggest one, the one that posed the threat, was still open. She cursed and took the strips she had taken from her robe and started to bind his arm.

"I'm so sorry Severus," she said. "I didn't mean what I said. I was upset and angry and hurt. But I didn't want you to do this. Please, please Severus. Talk to me." Tell me it'll be ok.