Andrew Kirke (tuned_in) wrote in the_colony, @ 2010-08-02 20:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | ^ week 18, analise gordan, andrew kirke, | ana and drew |
Week 18: Thursday
Characters: Ana and Drew
Location: The Farm, outside in the parking area.
Summary: Ana brings Drew a snack, but it comes with a story. It's not necessarily a story Drew likes, especially given the conclusion.
Rating: R for coarse language.
Drew was getting antsy without running the radio station. He still had the CB to work with, but even that required consistent power to run it. He'd committed himself to three hours a day of allotted time in order to preserve their precious fuel.
And really, he didn't even need to be present for that; he rigged up a pre-recorded message to play on the transmitter, flipping it on before sitting and waiting on the receiver end. Three times a day, for an hour, in the AM, mid-day, and PM.
God, he was bored.
It was cold as hell inside the car he used as his 'radio' space, but he had to keep himself from being bored, so he dressed as warmly as he could in order to remain mobile, donned some fingerless gloves, and brought his guitar in with him to pass the time. It was better than silence.
Knock knock.
Ana rapped on the window of the car, grinning a little to see Drew jump. “Hi,” she said, climbing into the car with him. “Somebody order delivery?” Ana wouldn’t dream of suggesting Drew take a break from running the radio, but the least she could do was bring him lunch and keep him a little bit of company. Drew laughed lightly in response, tucking the guitar between his feet and knees so he could take up the little tupperware of food properly.
“I dunno, did you cook it?” he teased playfully, watching the steam rising in little wispy tendrils.
“Don’t make me take it back, smartass,” Ana quipped back. “Besides the secret ingredient is love.”
Drew bit back a comment about how her secret ingredient needed a bit more practice, knowing the price of it would be a thwack or worse. He picked up his fork, fluffing up the rice a bit before he took a bite. He’d thought at first it was just rice with stuff in it, but after giving it a proper taste he could definitely taste soy sauce and egg.
“Fried rice, huh?” he asked, nodding his head in approval. “When’d ya learn to make this?”
“Oh, you know. Just somethin’ I picked up.” Ana had learned a lot up north with her other group, but she didn’t want to tell Drew that. Not with what she had to talk to him about. “Course, there might be a teeny tiny little string attached.”
That alone had Drew furrowing his brows. He took another bite and chewed, this time tasting fish. He couldn’t quite tell what kind it was -- hell, he had a poor man’s palate, and it hardly mattered anyway -- but it definitely tasted good. “Hm?”
Ana swallowed nervously, remembering the awfulness of having to tell Drew about Mason. But this wasn’t about Mason, this was about the entire group. “I was thinkin’, now that we’ve found a place to stay that maybe you and me might take a little trip. Take a couple days and go north to see my old group while we’ve still got the fuel.”
The rice? Sawdust. Drew swallowed the bite in his mouth with difficulty, the only thing still appealing about the tupperware being the warmth it imbued into his hands. “Sounds like a waste of fuel,” he said, his voice a touch darker. “No point in a trip if we aren’t, like... hunting or foraging or something.”
Ana licked her lips, the hopefulness she’d felt about this conversation while she’d been cooking deflated. “No reason we can’t do that on the way,” she pointed out. “We don’t have to be gone long, either. There and back.”
Drew hummed in answer, frowning by that point and turning his gaze toward his knees, then to the CB; anywhere but on her face. He knew what this was about, and if anything it made him more anxious. Why are you so damned concerned with them? he thought at her, too afraid of the fight that would come if he vocalized it. He didn’t want to fight, but he certainly did not want her to leave.
Frustrated, Ana wished that Drew would actually speak when he was upset, instead of shutting up and making her drag it out of him. “A couple of days.” Ana was careful to keep her voice even. “Go, let them know I’m all right and then we’ll come back here.”
Drew brought his eyes up to her again, still frowning but hearing the needling in her tone. “And you need me for this?” he asked, just managing to keep the bite out of his words. “Go with Jed or Tom. They’re better with guns than I am. You might actually bring back something.”
“I don’t want to go with Jed or Tom,” Ana protested. “I want to go with you. You’re important to me. These people were my friends, they’ll want to meet you.”
“Because I’m sure you couldn’t stop talking about me when you were with ‘em,” he replied before he could stop himself, feeling the anger bubble up in him. “Considering how I was dead and all.”
Ana’s mouth dropped open, amazed at how hurtful that was. “Don’t you dare throw that back at me,” she snapped once she could find her voice again. “Actin’ like that was nothin’ for me, like it wasn’t the most difficult - don’t you dare. They know who you are and they know I was comin’ after you.”
“And considerin’ how far away you went to find me, did you honestly think they expected you to come right back and tell ‘em you found me?” he countered. “Were you gonna do this when we were still in Vegas, or is it just because we’re in the friggin’ neighborhood?”
Right back? It’d been weeks. “What difference does it make? We’re here, it ain’t far and they got a right to know I’m okay and not lyin’ dead in a ditch somewhere!”
“Then go!” he barked, putting the tupperware up on the dash in order pull the keys out of the ignition and turn off the car. He could feel the rage twisting up in him, black and ugly, where it had been festering in him ever since Ana had told him she’d kissed the guy back at that camp. “Since you wanna go so damn much, just go!”
“I will!” Ana yelled back, stomping her foot against the floor of the car. “God, what the hell is your problem?”
Drew didn’t answer her, opening the car door and slamming it behind him, leaving the guitar and food behind. He started stomping off toward the house, wanting distance between them so he could try and calm down, but he knew full well that she wasn’t going to let him get away from her that easily.
Oh, he was not going to walk away from her without explaining just what was wrong with him. Ana snatched the food off the dash, somehow remembering to take it with lest the car stink of fish, and stormed after Drew, “What the hell is wrong with you? I said I want to go and I want you to go with me, so where the hell do you get off having a stick up your ass about it?”
“I know you just wanna see your old boyfriend, Ana!” he shouted in answer, not turning to look back as her as he headed toward the house. “I’m not stupid!”
“You’re doin’ a damn good impression of it!” She extended her stride to catch up with him. “Or what, you think I’m goin’ to leave you downstairs havin’ coffee while I drag him off and fuck him?” She knew should’ve be watching her language with the kids around, but Ana was too angry to filter her words now.
Just the thought of her having sex with him was enough to infuriate Drew further, the anger mixing with jealousy and boiling over entirely.
“If you don’t, he probably will,” he growled out, stopping mid-step but still not turning back towards her. “And I swear to All that is still good in this world, Analise, I will kill him if I see him.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She’d never heard Drew say anything like that before. “Are you crazy? What are you doin’, sayin’ somethin’ like that?”
“Just admit you’d rather be there!” he countered, turning around at last. Grief, fury, and jealousy raged on in him, and he felt the first tell-tale signs of tears coming. Fuck all, I will not, I will not, I WILL NOT-- “Admit it! You don’t even wanna be here; you’d rather be up there with them instead of with me!”
“If you’re goin’ to keep bein’ an asshole, who could blame me!” Ana was so frustrated, so angry with him that she could feel each of her muscles tightening with it. “I came after you, stupid! I asked you to go with me! Where do you get off decidin’ what I want?!”
“Deciding!?” he countered, incredulous. “Wh- I’m not! I don’t have to! It’s obvious! You came out looking for closure on me; you didn’t wanna stay--”
“--And I think about him when I’m with you, right? Isn’t that what’s next?” Her voice was loud, trying to drown out his. “I’m just a slut, gettin’ you off and imaginin’ him?” She threw her head back, as if she was in the throes of passion. “Oh, Mason, I wish you were inside me!” Ana straightened to glare angrily at Drew. “You’re paranoid and you’re bein’ ridiculous.”
Drew screwed his eyes closed and turned away from her the moment she started putting on the show, his hands balling up in fists at his sides. Now she was just mocking him, and that hurt as much as the idea that she wanted to leave. Her argument wasn’t exactly convincing to him, especially with how genuine she sounded at her play at moaning out the other man’s name.
Drew would never call her a slut. Never. And he knew that’s why she chose the word: to throw his so-called ridiculous behavior back in his face. He brought his free arm over his eyes hard, swallowing and shaking his head.
“If you wanna go so bad, go,” he repeated, quieter this time, his voice a little hoarse from shouting. “But I’m not going. I can’t. Won’t. I lived in hell without you. If that place ends up bein’... nice and idyllic and hard to leave, it’ll just...” Hurt, he thought. That you stayed. That you were happy, while every day without you killed me a little more.
All of Ana’s anger that had been building up to now had nowhere to go and she let out a loud, exasperated sigh to release some of it. “What do you want from me, Drew? I came back. So why the hell are you still punishin’ me?”
Drew swiped at his eyes again, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Don’t go,” he said.
What was she supposed to do now? No matter what she did, somebody got hurt. “They’re my friends. I can’t just leave them wonderin’ if I got killed or not.”
“I just want you to be happy, Ana,” he said, back still towards her. “But I can’t... I can’t be with you, if you go back.”
Ana went stock still. “What are you talkin’ about, you can’t be with me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it means, Ana.”
“No I don’t!” Of course she didn’t. He wouldn’t say that. “If I go up there, that’s it? You don’t want me? That’s what you’re sayin’? You’re really standin’ there tellin’ me that?”
“I can’t be up there to make sure nothin’ goes down,” he explained, his voice surprisingly calm considering he’d started to cry. Once again, he swiped at his eyes. “But I can’t stand the idea of you goin’ up there alone. So yeah. That’s what I’m sayin’.”
Ana’s hands were shaking. “You don’t trust me.” She dug her anger back up because that was easier, at least. More reliable. “Oh, you son-of-a-bitch. If you don’t trust me then what the hell are we doin’ this for? Don’t you dare put this on me, makin’ it my fault for choosin’ to go. That’s what you want, then do it! Do it now! Just be a man and do it!”
“I think it's a stupid idea to go runnin' after a few people you've only known for a year, maybe less, when we've been together s'long as we have, and now that you're making such a big deal about it, yeah. You're right. I don't trust you.” He clenched his jaw, turning to look at her. “They didn't come after you, Ana. They didn't try'n stop you. What do you really want? You said goodbye once.”
“You can be a real bastard sometimes.” Ana’s eyes were burning and she rubbed the heel of her free hand against them. “Do you have any idea what I gave up? What I walked away from for you?”
Drew turned and left the moment the words were out of her mouth. He had to get away from her just then. There was no way he could stay after she said that. But instead of going toward the house, he headed toward the car he’d just left, intent on driving off.
One last shout of anger and Ana threw the container of food she was holding at him. Mostly she missed and sent grains of rice everywhere. “I want your shit out of the room!” she yelled after Drew. “I don’t want you in there with me. It’s done! You hear me! Done!”
Drew didn’t argue with her. He simply got back into the car, made sure the doors were locked and his guitar safely resting on the floor in the passenger’s side, then took off down the road. He didn’t bother bringing up the fact that she was the one who was supposedly leaving; why would he have to move out of “her” room if that were the case?
He turned up the radio once he could see the road leading into the city, pressing the CD button on the interface.
“There ain't no load that I can't hold / The road's so rough this I know / I'll be there when the light comes in / Just tell 'em we're survivors / Life is a highway, I wanna ride it / All night long...”