John James Searle (inneedofrepair) wrote in the_colony, @ 2010-07-28 19:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | ^ week 18, bridget mackenzie, john james searle, | bridget and searle |
Week eighteen - Monday
Characters: Bridget and Searle (with Rollo).
Location: The Farm, back porch.
Summary: They talk about birthdays, their pasts, and the future.
Rating: PG
Bridget rested on the couch that sat on the screened in back porch of their new home, wrapped in a quilt to guard against the chill as she watched the fog drift over the treetops. One hand held a small mug of hot tea, the other rested on the swell of her belly as she felt the fluttery sensation of one of the twins shifting inside. One part of her mind made a note that she really ought to talk to Ana about making some heavier maternity clothes for her, or finding some and letting them out. What she had was still more suited for the warmer climate of the southwest, not the cooler and damper area they inhabited now. Besides, if she kept expanding the way she had been the clothes she had would be too small long before she came to term anyway.
Mostly though, Bridget was trying not to think at all. She’d been having trouble the past few days getting her wedding rings on and off her finger, what with her fingers joining the rest of her body in puffing up, and this morning they just did not want to go on no matter what she did. Was it a sign telling her it was time to move on or just the normal difficulties of pregnancy? Bridget honestly didn’t know, but the rings had been left on her nightstand for the time being until she could decide what to do about it.
The door to the porch opened and Rollo came barreling in with a ball in his mouth. Searle followed closely, red in the face partially from running around, but mostly just from being outdoors for most of the day.
“Hey,” he greeted, upon seeing Bridget, but walked past her to let Rollo into the farmhouse. “Did you see the snow this morning?”
Bridget forced a small smile, both at seeing the happy dog and at Searle. The teen always seemed to cheer her up. “I did! If we needed another clue that it’s almost winter that would be it.” She took a sip of her tea and observed him a moment. “Looks like he made you work at playing today.”
“Maybe a little,” Searle admitted with a smile, and went over to join Bridget, “but I always liked playing outside when it was cold. For a while, when we lived in Vegas, I thought maybe I’d never see snow again. But now, maybe everything will be white on my birthday.”
“Oh that’s right!” Bridget had forgotten that fact. “It is coming up isn’t it? When?”
“December 31st. Pretty soon.” Searle paused to think for a moment. “Is it even December yet?”
Bridget had to think about it herself. She knew how many weeks had gone by because she was keeping track for her pregnancy, but what month did that make it now? “Maybe, if not it will be in a week or so. There’s a calendar in the kitchen still, we can check later.” This was good, she could obsess over Searle’s birthday rather than her own issues. “What would you like for your birthday?”
“I don’t know,” he said, providing Bridget with the number one dreaded answer to a question like that. There were a lot of things he wanted, but only a few, he thought, Bridget could give him. “But you can give me one combined present for Christmas and my birthday. That’s what most people did.”
“Christmas.” Bridget blinked at that. She hadn’t even thought about Christmas since before last December. Celebrating the birth of the ‘savior’ wasn’t something that appealed to her anymore. Any being that could allow the deaths of six billion people in less than a year wasn’t one that she was going to favor with worship. But she could just call it a ‘winter solstice present’ and still give him presents for both. “I guess I’ll have to figure something out then.”
Her own birthday had come and gone without much fanfare, but they’d been on the road at the time.
“You could bake me a cake,” Searle said after a moment’s silence. “I don’t get enough sugar these days.” Surprisingly, though, at least to him, he’d never felt better.
“That’s because we always had so much of it in our diet before, it was cheap.” Not anymore though, once everything that could be found by raiding was used up, Sugar was going to be a luxury item. “What kind of cake? I’m sure I could find the ingredients if we look hard enough.”
“I like chocolate best, but any kind is good if it has frosting on it. I should help you bake it,” Searle decided, offering Bridget a small smile. “Being extra nice to you on your birthday isn’t much of a present. I shoulda planned for it before we went on the road.”
“We had other things to worry about at the time.” Bridget smiled fondly at the teen before finishing off her tea before it got cold. She put the mug on the side table beside the couch and the free hand went to ruffle his hair for a minute. “But I appreciate the thought Searle, thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Searle replied, with a smile warmed by her hand in his hair. However, that warmth didn’t extend to his bare hands, and those he slipped into the pockets of his heavy coat.
“How are you and the babies feeling today?” He glanced over at Bridget’s quilt in the general area of her belly.
“They’re feeling squirmy I think.” Her clasped hands rested on her distended abdomen. “It’s kind of a weird feeling to be honest with you, but I’m starting to get used to it. If they’re moving that means they’re healthy so they can squirm all they want as far as I’m concerned.”
As for how she felt herself, well...
“And you?” Searle smiled about the twins, but wasn’t about to let Bridget be evasive about herself. There was a time he would have; a time when he wouldn’t have thought she should open up, but they’d all gone through an ordeal, and the several weeks that had gone by since leaving Las Vegas hadn’t healed every hurt.
Bridget sighed and held up her left hand with its ringless fingers. “I couldn’t get my rings on this morning, my fingers are starting to puff up along with the rest of me.” She wasn’t sure how much she should share with him, how much he would understand.
“You still look good to me,” Searle replied, unable to fight the heat climbing into his cheeks. “And you’ll be able to put them back on. It might even be hard to keep the weight on after you’ve had the babies.”
That earned him a smile. “You’ll make someone a happy woman when you’re older, Searle, I can see it now.” The smile faded and her hands went back to rest on her stomach. “I just can’t help wondering if it’s supposed to mean something.”
Searle’s smile also faded. “Your rings?”
“Yeah.” She sighed and went ahead and dove into why it bothered her. “You know I don’t really believe in god anymore, but I can’t help wondering if this is supposed to be a sign to let Jake go. Its been five months almost, and he hasn’t shown up.”
“I don’t think it’s a sign,” Searle said slowly, “I don’t think anything or anyone can tell you when to let Jake go. But if you’re thinking that, maybe you should.” He looked away from Bridget as he continued. “If Jake suddenly showed up down the line it wouldn’t be like you wouldn’t love him anymore, but I know from experience if you dwell on the past it’s like you’re stuck there.” With a sigh, Searle’s eyes found Bridget again.
“For the longest time I wondered if bringing Jared back to the suites was a good thing after all. I guess I still do,” he admitted, “but it was killing me for a while. I thought maybe I should have let him go. But I realized I didn’t know what would happen, I did what I thought was best in that moment - and that’s all you can do.
“So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, you should do what you think is best now.” Searle offered an uncertain smile. “It doesn’t make you bad for wanting to move on. I left someone behind, and I don’t know where she is right now. Sometimes you have to leave the people you love behind so you can have a better life.”
Bridget listened quietly to Searle’s words. She remembered the issues he’d had with Jared’s death, issues she understood and agreed with. But sometimes moving on was the right thing to do. Whether that was the case with Jake, she still wasn’t sure. Talking about it helped though. “Thanks Searle. When did you get to be such a smart guy?” She smiled at him, teasing just a bit.
“I guess we all go through some of the same stuff,” Searle answered modestly, and smiled at a spot across the porch.
Bridget decided a change in subject was in order. “So what are your plans for the rest of the day?”
“I was thinking I’d catch up on some of the odd jobs around the house. Stuff that’s not really important but could be fixed, like that annoying cabinet that opens weird in the kitchen.” Searle stretched his legs out in front of him. “Then I’ll probably read for a while.” He had some catching up to do on his reading assignment from Bridget.
“Reading is good,” Bridget agreed with a small smile. “Try to get some in before dark, reading by firelight isn’t all that easy.”
“Not much is easy by firelight,” Searle agreed with a sigh. “I’m still getting used to living like this, even though it feels like it’s been forever since we had electricity. It feels like forever since we left Las Vegas.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Bridget agreed, also sighing. She could still see her feet back then, and even though she’d only lost sight of them a short while ago it still seemed an eternity. “We might get electricity back in the long run, but figuring out how to do that without a big power plant is going to take a lot of time, and someone with more technical skills than you or I.”
“Yeah, makes me think about how smart people must have been to invent it from nothing. I bet the right people could do something with all of the equipment left lying around.” Searle shrugged. “I like it here, though, electricity or not.”
“It is nice, it reminds me a lot of home in several ways. The trees are a bit different and the buildings are newer, but aside from that...” She shrugged. It made her a little homesick for Pennsylvania to be honest, but it would do well for a new home. “I like it a lot more than I ever cared for Las Vegas.”
“It was cool there, but everywhere you were reminded of Swine Flu. Everything was abandoned. Here, sometimes I forget about that.” Not often, but sometimes Searle was able to find some peace of mind those days.
“I imagine it’ll get a little easier to put it to the back of our minds the older we get and have more distance from when it happened.” Bridget said thoughtfully. “I don’t think we’ll ever forget entirely. I doubt humanity will ever forget, even if it turns into legend passed down from one generation to the next.”
“We’ll have to make sure the legend is a good one,” Searle said, nodding.
Bridget smiled her agreement and wondered what stories would be told to their great grandchildren after the generation that survived the plague had passed from the scene. “I’m up for it if you are.”
“Yeah,” was Searle’s reply, nothing less than certain.