liv "ol' scratchy" moore. (beyondbadass) wrote in the100, @ 2015-11-10 18:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | !network post, liv moore, remus lupin |
REMUS LUPIN:
Remember when I was me again? Not me the zombie, but old me? And Major was like Groot, so even if he still had feelings for me - which, let's be honest, he probably doesn't - nothing could have even happened? Things have been weird. Or maybe I'm just weird. I don't know. I told him I loved him, and we haven't talked about it. I don't know what to say to him anymore. If he still felt anything, he would have said so by now, right? But why would he, I'm a damn zombie.
Anyway, apparently in our future, he gets mortally wounded and I save him by turning him into a zombie too, but then I give him the last of the cure that our friend Ravi made. And my best friend finds out and takes off.
And I keep wondering why I'm getting my hopes up. Things were getting better, or at least I thought they were, but now that he knows, there's no way he's going to look at me in the same way again, and even if he did, there's no point. A relationship with me is never going to be normal. And that, I think, is the hardest part about all of this. I can manage how to keep myself from going full-on zombie all the time. It's disgusting, but I can suffer through that, but giving up... all the dreams I had for my future, everything I wanted, everything Major and I wanted, it's gone. That's the hard part. I don't want to be alone forever.
... Sorry. That's probably way more than you wanted to deal with.I justYou're just the only one who understands, so, welcome to the soap opera that is my life.