Peter Pettigrew (spinzone) wrote in the100, @ 2015-04-08 23:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, !trigger, peter pettigrew, remus lupin |
Who: Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew
When: Probably a few hours after the brawl in medical!
Where: Medical, in Peter's private, guarded room.
What: Remus and Peter have The Talk
Rating: Probably pretty high for mentions of character death, suicide wishes, and just not happy stuff all the way around.
Life took funny turns every now and again, but this one was pure hilarity crouched in sudden terror crouched in confusion and a hundred other emotions storming through Peter's head, keeping him awake despite the painkillers that the doctors had given him. One moment, he'd been minding his own business, taking off for a quick lunch down the pub (with a not-quite-repressed hope that the ones who'd befriended him the last few times he'd been there were there), and the next he was on what seemed like a completely different planet, with alternate versions of his best friends threatening to kill him -- and that was the least of what they wanted to do. No one had told him exactly what the issue was, but judging from Sirius's comments about a spy and the forceful statement that it could not have been Remus... it was him. Peter. He was the spy. And he'd done something so terrible that Sirius wanted to kill him for it. He refused to believe it; they were his best friends, after all. And he'd never do something like that. He wouldn't betray them in any way; they were all the brothers he'd never had. They were family, and he loved each of them. He'd die for them, he was certain of it. But Remus and James had got Sirius away from him, although the man's bellows of rage and grief still echoed in his ears. He hoped that soon one of them would return to explain what was going on, while at the same time he wished that they'd stay away. Mixed in with all of that was guilt that Remus had got in the way of what was probably a curse that was supposed to really do damage and possibly kill him. He didn't know if Remus was hurt or anything, and that alone gnawed at him. Remus was -- had been -- his closest friend, even closer than James had been when they were young children. Remus knew him in ways that the other two didn't, and couldn't, and they'd shared so fucking much of their lives that it was inconceivable that he would do anything to hurt him. Or any of them. On and on his thoughts circled, the same ones in variations on a theme, exhausting Peter while keeping him awake. Restlessly, he moved in the bed, attempting to find a comfortable position and mostly failing. He guessed he would be able to take another dose of painkiller, but it seemed sort of like cheating. Because IF he had done something, he probably deserved it. He didn't think he'd done anything. They had to be wrong, it had to be someone else. It had to be. |