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Tweak says, "candy mouuuntaiiiiin"

Josh Foley (fatedtouch) wrote in tensor,
@ 2011-02-22 15:55:00

Entry tags:

josh_foley

FWD Dated to Wednesday, February 23
Josh stared at his fish as he swam about the small bowl he'd set upon the trunk at the foot of the bed. His black and white scales gleaming in the florescent light, fins fanned wide. After so many years, Josh still hadn't named him. He'd been an experiment in his gifts. A complete accident. He'd seen the fish floating in the water of an aquarium and just reached in after it. It was the first thing he'd ever brought back to life.

One of the agents had gotten a hold of it and it had been left in his room as a gift. The fish and Josh had been together ever since.

Though he was small, he was a life entirely in Josh's care and Josh took his responsibilities to him very seriously. He'd also become an outlet when Josh needed to focus. He knew the fish's make up to the very last drifting electron, and it was comforting and relaxing in a way that people just weren't.

They'd brought his fish to him almost immediately. He'd come back from the hospital tour to the one ever present constant in his life. He'd been so relieved to see him, he'd gone right to bed and slept peacefully.

The days had passed in a series of very precise events. Session upon session, with very little time to himself. Doc Samson and Headmistress Grey-Summers, Doctor Reyes, even Captain Rogers...Everyone wanted to talk to him. Everyone wanted to know what had happened. They poked and prodded and ran tests. He had to talk until he was blue, and run exercises. They'd altered his diet, his sleep schedule and even his clothing. He was tired of feeling like a mystery cube. He missed his room, and his friends and being able to talk to his boyfriend. Who they wouldn't give him any information on beyond the fact that he was 'fine'.

He was frustrated with the lack of answers. He was upset with the deliberate refusal to share any information with him. He was nervous that Kevin would never speak to him again. Let alone look at him. And the memory of Julian's back, and the bruise he wouldn't let Josh heal...withdrawing his consent to have Josh's powers touch him...it tied him up in knots.

On his belly, he dropped his chin to the mattress and tried to concentrate on the pattern of black and white. If he looked real close and didn't focus properly, it almost looked like a ying and yang pattern.

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	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:13 am UTC (link)
	Kurt pushed the door open and let himself in, smiling slightly at the title and tail swaying low around his ankles as he crossed to the desk and pulled out a chair. "Thank you." He spun it around and sat, forearms crossed over the back of it as he faced Josh. "You've been working hard, how are you holding up?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 02:16 am UTC (link)
	"I just want to know if he's all right." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:21 am UTC (link)
	Kurt sighed and smiled faintly. "He's still fine, Josh," he answered quietly. "Just like every other time you've asked." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 02:23 am UTC (link)
	"Fine isn't an answer!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:26 am UTC (link)
	"It's the answer I can give you," Kurt countered as his tail twined around the leg of his chair to still its lashing. "He's not injured. He's working through some things, as are you. He's fine." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 02:29 am UTC (link)
	"And Julian?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:36 am UTC (link)
	"He's back in classes." Fine didn't seem like it would go over so well, so he opted for some concrete information instead. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 02:41 am UTC (link)
	Josh nodded, drawing his legs up under him. He'd probably gone to Emma then. At least he'd gotten whatever it was off his chest. Even if it still hurt that he hadn't been enough this time. As long as Julian had talked to someone. He really couldn't do it alone, as much as he thought he could. No one was that strong. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:43 am UTC (link)
	"Now how about if we get back to my question?" Kurt asked, quirking a smile at him. "How are you holding up, Josh?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 02:44 am UTC (link)
	"I've never lost control before," he said simply. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:47 am UTC (link)
	Which was why it had created such a stir, though he wasn't going to tell Josh that. He doubtless knew. "YOu realize you're one of the very few who can say that, don't you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 02:50 am UTC (link)
	"Yes." Not that it had ever been something he'd ever felt strongly about. Control issues happened. They'd just...never happened to him before. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 02:53 am UTC (link)
	"Do you know why you lost control this time?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fatedtouch
2011-02-23 03:00 am UTC (link)

Josh threaded his fingers together, clasping his hands and looking down at them. He didn't like saying it, admitting it. It could only make everything worse and he was terrified it would mean one of them would be sent away. He'd just gotten Kevin back!

But honesty first and always. It was one of the first things they taught you when you arrived at Xavier's. Always be up front with your powers or they couldn't help you properly, and someone could be hurt. He'd seen it enough. He'd fixed it sometimes for others. He'd made it his own personal rule to never lie to his instructors. They had seen him through a lot of scary turns in his gifts. As his mentor had said, this was just another aspect of his abilities they needed to work out.

He just wished everyone would stop making him say it.

"Kevin. His...his powers. They drew me in. And then...I just couldn't stop." Agent Darkholme had heard it all before though, when Josh had called him slightly hysterical to be collected.

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	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 03:19 am UTC (link)
	It wasn't so much that Kurt wanted to force him to say it, it was more that he wanted to know if, after the last few days of training and reflection, he still believed that had been the root cause. And more importantly- "And do you think it would happen again, if you were near when he used his powers, or now that you know do you think you could maintain control?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 03:22 am UTC (link)
	"I don't know. Everything was fine until we...powered up at the same time. And then it just kept...I think we were pushing at each other. We didn't mean to! It just happened and we couldn't get it to stop. I think...I think as long as I don't use my powers around him, everything should be fine." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 03:34 am UTC (link)
	"What if he uses his around you?" Kurt asked, not unkindly. "He can't control what happens if something touches him." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 03:46 am UTC (link)
	Josh heaved a sigh. "I don't know. There was a while there...Julian was talking to me - calming me down - and it wasn't going anywhere. It was still uncomfortably high, but...Then Kevin...hurt my...feelings and..." Yeah, he was aware it sounded completely stupid an immature. He shrugged. "It started all over." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 05:29 am UTC (link)
	Kurt nodded and leaned forward to settle a hand on Josh's shoulder. "I know it hasn't happened to you before, Josh, but power spikes tied to high emotion are common. Especially at your age." Hormones didn't do good things for control in general, his and Kevin's situation, and the time they'd been kept apart, were virtually guaranteed to make it worse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-23 05:45 am UTC (link)
	Josh nodded. He'd lived with other powered people for five years. It was impossible not to notice. He'd just never known what it was like from their side of things. Unfortunately, his feelings were one of the few things he'd never really had to control. He didn't think it would be happening. Not just any time soon. At all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-23 05:57 am UTC (link)
	"Talk to me, Josh. I'm here to help you. We all are." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 08:40 am UTC (link)
	"I don't think I can control it," he replied, ashamed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 09:03 am UTC (link)
	"You're not a robot, Josh. No one expects you to have perfect control, especially not of your emotions and not at your age," he answered quietly. "Do you think you can be safe?" That was the infinitely more important question. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 09:17 am UTC (link)
	"We have been so far." And it had been wonderful. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 09:19 am UTC (link)
	"...until Saturday," he pointed out, almost reluctantly. "Can you be safe if something like that happens again? If his powers are activated? If you have a fight?" He leaned forward to put a hand on Josh's wrist. "I'm not asking if you can have perfect, of your powers or your emotions. Just if you are confident that you could be safe." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 09:29 am UTC (link)
	Josh sighed, pain twisting his gut into knots once more. "I think so. It wasn't entirely Kevin so...I mean, I was upset with Julian first, and that's how the whole thing started. And then it just spiraled out of control." He looked to the violin laying across his nightstand. "I just need to work it out. Talk to him." He nodded. "I can make it work." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tensor_mods
2011-02-24 09:38 am UTC (link)

Kurt nodded and leaned back again. "I want you to understand that we - I and all your trainers - trust your own assessment of your power and your control, Josh. You've never given us any reason to doubt you, and if you believe you can be safe then we will accept that. We'd still like you to remain here for another couple of days, though, until you're completely steady again. In the meantime, though, you may have your computer back with access to the school network...and with Skype disabled."

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	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 09:40 am UTC (link)
	He should have seen that one coming. "Yes, sir. Thank you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 09:48 am UTC (link)
	Kurt's lips quirked into a faint smile. "I'll look forward to seeing you back at practice next week." He surged gracefully to his feet and leaned over to pat Josh on the shoulder. "And to sparring with you tomorrow," he added. "Someone will be bringing your computer by shortly." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 09:51 am UTC (link)
	Josh stood as his instructor did, smiling very faintly at the news. "I'll try not to disappoint." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 09:53 am UTC (link)
	"You never do, Josh. I certainly don't expect you'll start now." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 09:59 am UTC (link)
	They said it often enough, but it still made him flush. Thankfully, he'd learned long ago to control his physical reaction to praise. "Tell TJ Hi for me? And thank her for the present. I'm going to be better soon, I promise." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 10:09 am UTC (link)
	"Of course I will, Josh. And more importantly, of course you will." He grinned and offered his hand. "Oh, and your boyfriend? Isn't bad with an epee." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 10:10 am UTC (link)
	He grinned. "Does this mean I get to cross swords with him?" he asked, taking his hand and shaking firmly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 10:12 am UTC (link)
	"We'll see." He thumped Josh lightly on the shoulder with his free hand. "But I'd say the odds are good," he added as he let go of Josh's hand and headed for the door. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 10:15 am UTC (link)
	"I'll be sure to go easy on him," he teased. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tensor_mods 2011-02-24 10:24 am UTC (link)
	"Oh no you don't, Foley," Kurt teased back. "You know the drill, go hard or go home." He grinned at Josh one last time and slipped out the door. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-02-24 10:25 am UTC (link)
	With a laugh, Josh fell back across his bed. Things were looking up. But first, he had to clear the air. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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