InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I didn't float here downriver."

Josh Foley (fatedtouch) wrote in tensor,
@ 2011-06-23 19:17:00

Entry tags:

josh_foley, kevin_ford

Kevin
Josh sighed, leaning back in his wheelchair and looking up at the sky. It was a beautiful day. Blue sky, bright sun, cool breeze (which was likely someone's doing) and lots of shade. He didn't know how long they'd been outside, but he was starting to get agitated.

He shifted uncomfortably, frowning slightly when it didn't relieve anything immediately.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

_touchless_
2011-06-27 05:49 am UTC (link)

Kevin sucked in a quiet, shuddering breath and folded his arms around Josh, holding him tight. He could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, and he pressed his face - safe behind the constraining hood - into Josh's hair.

"I remember," he whispered. "God, I was...so damned scared," he confessed, squeezing Josh's hand in his, kissing his hair. "I'd been thinking about it for so long. How...how to touch you, kiss you. Wanting it so much. And I was so afraid it was just me wanting it." He huffed a quiet, barely there laugh, breath ruffling Josh's spun gold hair even through the mask. "Did I ever tell you it took me three days to get up the nerve? To convince myself that all those little touches meant what I wanted them to mean, that you were looking at me the same way I was looking at you? And even then I was still scared to death, that even if you did want me too you wouldn't...wouldn't want me like that. Through sheets of plastic wrap." His drew breath with a ragged sigh and shifted enough to brush his lips along Josh's ear, breath ghosting warm over his skin. "If Mama hadn't come home I think I could have stayed like that forever, with you pressed up against the pantry shelves all flushed pink and breathless and panting. I didn't want anything more than to just...hold you. Forever if I could. I still don't."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 05:54 am UTC (link)
	"I'm going to get better," he whispered, like a secret. "And when I do, I'm going to fix you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 06:01 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah," Kevin agreed, voice shaking. "You are. You are going to get better." He didn't bother contradicting Josh about fixing him, though. It wasn't worth upsetting him for, and he loved that he wanted to, even if it wasn't possible. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 06:08 am UTC (link)
	"It's only going to hurt for a little bit more," he consoled. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 06:11 am UTC (link)
	"I know, sweetheart," he murmured, face pressed into Josh's hair. "I know. I'm...so sorry you're hurting. I wish...I wish I could do something to help." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 06:19 am UTC (link)
	"I'll fix me," he promised. "Eventually." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 06:26 am UTC (link)
	"You will," he agreed again, voice unsteady as hell and shaking slightly no matter how hard he tried not to. "It's just...it's taking time, is all, but you're getting there." He hoped. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 06:36 am UTC (link)
	"I'm getting there," he agreed, nodding slightly so Kevin could feel it. "Don't cry, love." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 06:43 am UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry," he whispered. He'd been trying so hard not to, but he just...he couldn't keep back the tears. Not entirely. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 06:48 am UTC (link)
	"Shh.." He shifted against him, tugging his hand down. "My turn to be the pillow. Come here." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 06:59 am UTC (link)
	Kevin shifted awkwardly, trying to move where Josh wanted him without jostling either of them too much. He felt slightly over-heated and sick and achy as he curled in against Josh's side and choked back a sniffle. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 07:05 am UTC (link)
	Josh kissed the top of his head and wrapped his good arm about him, holding him as tight as he could manage. "It's going to be alright, Kevin. I promise." He kissed him again, this time slightly awkwardly, given the change in angle. "Don't apologize for needing a break...You should be resting, not staying with me. I'm sorry, Kevin. I'm sorry for making it worse." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 07:18 am UTC (link)
	Kevin shook his head in silent protest, because he couldn't find his voice at first. When he finally did it was quiet and hoarse, and and muffled slightly against Josh's chest. "Not like I could rest away from you anyway." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 07:20 am UTC (link)
	"What did you say to them? When they asked you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 07:30 am UTC (link)
	"When who asked me what?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 07:37 am UTC (link)
	"When they recruited you for the cadet program." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 07:43 am UTC (link)
	Kevin froze for a moment before answering. "...how did you know?" he finally asked, quiet and hoarse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 07:46 am UTC (link)
	"Your birthday was last month." He worried his lip. "Did you like my present?" He was silent a moment more. "I did give it to you, didn't I?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 08:02 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah," he finally answered unsteadily. "You...you did, and it's amazing." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 08:11 am UTC (link)
	"Good," he replied with a smile, snuggling closer. "It was custom made. It took so long, I was worried it wouldn't ever come in time." He lay his head as close to Kevin's as he could. "I'm so happy you like it," he murmured. After a moment, he lifted his head. "It works, right? It plays fine and everything?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 08:18 am UTC (link)
	It made the tears come faster, that Josh couldn't remember. Giving it to him, playing together even on the days that were supposed to be Julian's alone. Speaking to each other with the music even when they couldn't find words. "It's perfect," he whispered hoarsely. "It's...everything about it. It's absolutely perfect." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 08:24 am UTC (link)
	"Are you sure? I can...I can get you something else if you don't like it. You don't have to pretend." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 08:33 am UTC (link)
	"No!" Kevin snapped immediately, voice breaking. "I mean yes. Yes, I'm sure." Though if Josh never played with him again...he squeezed his eyes tight shut and his shoulders shook with silent tears he couldn't keep back at the thought. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-06-27 11:59 am UTC (link)
	"Kevin...What's wrong?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_touchless_ 2011-06-27 02:28 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry," he whispered again, shaking his head. "I'm just...I'm tired." And it was making it hard to hold it together for the moment, to deal with how lonely and frightened he was, with Josh not remembering anything of the last few months. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) -

fatedtouch, 2011-06-27 02:38 pm UTC

(no subject) -

_touchless_, 2011-06-27 03:26 pm UTC

(no subject) -

fatedtouch, 2011-06-27 05:44 pm UTC

(Read comments) -