InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "<3 Hudson"

power_vacuum (power_vacuum) wrote in tensor,
@ 2011-03-25 01:20:00

Entry tags:

chase_stein, gert_yorkes, nsfw

Chase
Gert was pacing, and Old Lace was tucked away soundly in her head although she could feel her shifting and stirring. Even with her roommate gone, it would have been irresponsible to let her out. Gert couldn't keep things the emotions from funneling to her currently. Pacing was not something she did regularly. It was typically reserved for very complex homework assignments that required concentration. There could be something relaxing in the movement, but now she was just fidgeting and there was a terrible, horrible knot in her stomach.

Calm, cool and collected were out the window, and Gert was reduced to the sort of person that she didn't like. What the fuck was wrong with her and why couldn't she seem to stop it? Gert stopped and pressed her forehead against the wall, counting under her breath. That wasn't helping, either.

What the shit was going on? How the hell was it that whenever Chase Stein was in her life the whole world seemed to get shaken and strange? And how could she get that to stop?

Did she want it to stop? That thought made her start pacing again, muttering darkly to herself. "Stop it. This is ridiculous. You are not five years old. You can control yourself better than this. Fuck." There was a note of resignation rather than anger in the swear.

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_talkback_
2011-03-25 07:13 am UTC (link)

Okay, none of that was really surprising, nor went against what Chase knew about Gert. He just wasn't sure who she was trying to convince here, him or her?

Standing up, Chase walked over to her. He was...incredibly calm, which was pretty damned strange considering the situation. He hesitated for a second, the took Gert firmly by the shoulders. "I hope she took a piece out of both their asses," he began with a small smirk. "You're always difficult, Yorkes. If you were easy, I'd have gotten bored of tormenting you after like the first year. Not that it was fair for me to pick you on you. I wasn't mad at you. I never hated you. I hated the fact that my parents liked you better than me. No matter what I did, I wasn't good enough. After Old Lace bit me, I realized I wasn't any better than they were. I was taking out my anger at them on you. But you were already gone by then, so you never got to see that."

Chase shrugged. "I am not afraid of you. Or Old Lace," he told her firmly. "Because deep down, you aren't going to hurt anybody who isn't asking for it. You have too many high ideals of changing the world for the better. Or can't be bothered unless they make you."

Yeah, because that was obvious. The same reason he was never good enough for his parents. He let go of Gert and walked over to one of the discarded books she loved so much. "Because I'm not Tolstoy. Or Yeats, or whichever of these boring dead white guys you've been dreaming about all your life. And I'm never gonna be. My parents tried to make me be like that. And it's not me." He dropped the book back on his bed. "And that's okay, too. I just had to be honest with you, before I did something stupid in jealous denial. Because then I'd be even deeper in and have to explain all of this, anyway."

He shook his head. "I'm not good at this. I just know when to stop lying to myself. I'll get over it, okay?"

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power_vacuum
2011-03-25 07:37 am UTC (link)

Gert was silent, knees drawn up to her chest, chin resting on them as she watched him. "I always knew your parents were evil. I just wasn't sure why. They weren't like my parents. There was just something unsettling about yours. especially your dad. I'm sorry if they made you feel like that because you're not disappointing. You're fascinating and inventive and not nearly as dumb as you look or make yourself out to be."

Shaking her head, she made a noise that was almost a laugh. "You were my only friend then, too. And let's be honest. I deserved some of it, and I gave back as good as I got most of the time. A number of times I even beat you to the proverbial punch, although there weren't any actual blows ever thrown that I recollect."

"Chase, I messaged you first. I accepted your invitations. I didn't slam the door in your face. I didn't ignore you. I interacted. You weren't making me do anything."

She got up and brushed her palms together before passing a hand through her hair. Then she positioned herself so she could look at his face. "That smart, mean boy. He might have reminded me of you a little. Of course he was actually an asshole."

Then she glanced down at the floor, hands twisted together. "I'm not any good at this, either, Chase. I like ideas. I like thinkers and cerebral things, yes, but those things don't challenge me. Shit. I'm fucking this up."

"You're Chase Stein. You're the only person I never managed to figure out. You're the only one who keeps me guessing. I don't know what that means to me other than it's really important. Fuck. Okay. This is cheesy. I look forward to being around you. I miss you when you're not here. I want you to just keep talking to me, and I know that you're usually not going to let me have the last word so if I keep talking, you keep talking."

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