InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tweak can stay."

Josh Foley (fatedtouch) wrote in tensor,
@ 2011-03-20 20:23:00

Entry tags:

josh_foley, julian_keller

Julian
Josh closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair, sighing heavily. He was tired. So tired. He was tired of fighting. He was tired of ignoring each other. He was tired of pushing things away so he wouldn't have to face them. They festered like infections, feeding in the dark. The worse type of illness. Something his powers couldn't touch.

His half of the room had never been so empty. Instruments gone forever. All their bases, stands and accompanying pieces moved into the closet. Along with every last scrap of sheet music, book and cd he owned. His external hard drive, filled to the last byte with mp3s was under his bed. He still couldn't bring himself to wipe it.

Every knick knack and photograph had likewise been shoved under the bed until he decided what to do with them. The only personal items still out and about was his fish, his laptop and his schoolwork. His tree...his tree was safe with a chlorokinetic he trusted. She'd take good care of it until he could have it near him again.

Looking up at the ceiling, Josh wondered how the hell they'd gotten to this point. And more over, whether or not when Julian walked out the door tonight, if it would be for the last time.

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	fatedtouch 2011-03-23 02:22 am UTC (link)
	"Only days?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	truehellion 2011-03-23 02:27 am UTC (link)
	"Eventually someone would track us down and turn a hose on us." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-03-23 02:30 am UTC (link)
	He laughed - a quiet burst of peaceful amusement. "Will you be here?" he asked, hands closing about the fabric against his back. "After?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	truehellion 2011-03-23 02:35 am UTC (link)
	"Yes. But Josh, I don't think you'll be coming back." It hurt like hell to say it, but it was the truth. Julian knew this was going to serve as their goodbye. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-03-23 02:42 am UTC (link)
	Eyes closing against the burn, he pressed his face into Julian's chest. Arms clutching tightly. And if the Julian's shirt stained against the wetness...well, he couldn't fix everything. Julian had taught him that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

truehellion
2011-03-23 02:51 am UTC (link)

"Hey," he murmured softly, stroking ghostly tk fingertips down Josh's spine, through his hair, along his sides--everywhere at once, literally surrounding Josh with himself. "It'll work out okay. It'll suck for awhile, but I'll still be at the school. You'll see me around. Maybe he'll be cool with us hanging out, anyway. And if you need me--"

Julian choked on his own comforting lies, trying to stifle a sob. God damn it. He hadn't cried in... He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. He turned his face, trying to scrub away the bitterly hot tears with his shoulder.

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fatedtouch
2011-03-23 04:01 am UTC (link)

Josh's hands tugged Julian's shirt up, sliding back under. Smoothing up over hard, toned muscles. Strong. Julian was always so strong. He turned his head, pressing his face against his neck; Julian's throat against the bridge of his nose and over his brow, jaw to his temple.

He inhaled, surrounded by him and returned it by pouring himself into Julian. He wasn't aiming to fix anything, to register anything. He was giving back all of himself, if only for the moment. He could be strong for him. No one would ever need know.

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truehellion
2011-03-24 11:28 pm UTC (link)

He couldn't afford to let himself break down completely. Not when things were like this. Not when Josh belonged with someone else. That was a threshold he couldn't cross and still remain strong enough to watch Josh walk away. He'd be giving too much of himself away to ever recover.

So Julian reached up to scrub away the traitorous tears, pulling himself together by monumental force of will. He touched his fingertips to the back of Josh's neck, stroking the spine as he slowly, determinedly willed himself to pull back on the mask and step away.

It was just...so hard. Harder than he could have imagined. He wasn't sure where he'd find the strength again.

"You should probably not stay here," he finally said, voice low and uneven.

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	fatedtouch 2011-03-25 12:02 am UTC (link)
	Josh let Julian pull away, afraid it would be the last time he'd feel his arms around him and unwilling to be the one to destroy that last thread. Once Julian was free though, he stepped back. Lower lip trapped between his teeth and eyes focused on the floor so he couldn't see the lie. He nodded, but didn't move. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	truehellion 2011-03-25 12:05 am UTC (link)
	"Josh... I love you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-03-25 12:07 am UTC (link)
	It was the way he said it. Josh looked up, blinking back tears. "I love you too." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	truehellion 2011-03-25 12:10 am UTC (link)
	There was that. He'd always have that. Julian's eyes were still glassy, wet, but he used tk to open the door. He couldn't trust himself around Josh right now. "I'm sorry," he murmured. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-03-25 12:11 am UTC (link)
	"Me too," he whispered. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	truehellion 2011-03-25 12:13 am UTC (link)
	"I'll...see you around campus." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fatedtouch 2011-03-25 12:16 am UTC (link)
	He nodded. He couldn't bring himself to actually say the words. This was not good bye. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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