InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I've slept so long without you"

Kai Hama (ennosigaios) wrote in tardis_net,
@ 2011-01-21 00:40:00

Just when I thought I was finally far enough away. ~~I'm not sure I can do this, too many of their faces are out there. Hell too many of my face...~~

What exactly has happened to create this transmission event?

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

ennosigaios
2011-01-21 07:21 am UTC (link)

You wouldn't wish it on any other person but the me you told is sitting there telling me that he's willing to go find another child to have close by. Right. That was very smart of you Alice.

There was no time for anything else. There was no other way. When the Earth's population is in jeopardy there is no try only do.
No matter what a child is going to die. Whether it is him or another kid, there's still going to be that death. And you want to know the hard fact, daughter? No matter what that version of me will do- what that reality will form- it still happened in your timeline, your reality. No amount of jumping through time or talking with a younger version of yourself or myself or any of them, will change that.

Time doesn't work the way your 21st century brain thinks it works. Time doesn't bend to our wills... you learn that in the Time Agency.

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

devils_daughter
2011-01-21 07:36 am UTC (link)

I'm not responsible for what he chooses to do. He's you and given how easily you sacrificed my child, I'm supposed to be shocked now that you'd easily sacrifice someone else's?

I'm making time. That's what I did by telling you early on. He has 6 months to figure this out, to find another way. Don't patronise me with your 'time doesn't work that way' bullshit. I don't care how time works. I'm trying to save my son! I don't expect my life to magically change and for Steven to suddenly appear ~~though I was kind of hoping~~. Somewhere out there is another me who still has Steven with her, and if I see her on here I will be telling her to get as far away from Cardiff and you as she possibly can. You can't kill Steven again if she's not there to be caught!

Want to know what really pisses me off? The fact that you're so sure you're right. There's not even a smidgen of doubt. You didn't answer my question, so I guess you would do the same thing again if you had to. That makes you a monster.

This Time Agent here, Jola, says that one day I'm going to have another child. When I do, you are not welcome to come anywhere near us. In fact, it would be best if you stayed as far away from Earth as it's possible to get. This child won't even know you exist. You want to die so badly? You're dead to me now and my father will be dead as far as anyone else knows.

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

ennosigaios
2011-01-21 08:04 am UTC (link)

The sacrifices I choose are never easy. Don't be so sure that even with 6 months there will be another decision. We knew nothing about the 456, absolutely nothing, and I'm quite sure you still have no clue about them so don't go around acting the martyr and calling me the devil when you have the tiniest sliver of information.

There were a more than a few amazing people that gave their lives to try and figure out another way. But you ignore them. You ignore their sacrifices, you ignore the pain of their families, because you are obsessed with what is best for you.

I didn't kidnap you and take you the facility, yet you are seemingly blaming me for that also. All the blame is placed on me, even for things I didn't do. Because all of this wou;dn't have happened without me, huh? Well I wish that was true because then it'd be really easy to solve that problem.

Yes, I'm a monster- I'm well aware of that- but you know what, I was a monster long before you were even born. And if it wasn't for this monster before you, you wouldn't have been born at all.

Really? And if I decide to go back to Earth what do you think you'll do? Kill me? Go ahead, it doesn't help. It doesn't work. Your brilliant ideas and plans mean nothing. I won't be surprised if you make believe that the next child is him and completely ignore who they really are. Jola was an idiot anyhow, he should have stayed in the medical office where he belonged.

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

devils_daughter
2011-01-21 08:20 am UTC (link)

I'm not the one holding myself up to be the alien expert, Dad. I freely admit that I don't know about these creatures, but I'm not expected to! I'm not the one trying to save the day when aliens invade and I'm not the one with all the resources that Torchwood has at their fingertips.

I heard later that a lot of people died in that building and I'm very sorry about that, and for what their families are going through, but that is exactly the point! Why not tell that other Jack to evacuate the building? Why not prevent those deaths too?

You didn't have to kidnap us and take us there. It was our connection to you that was the only thing that mattered! What would you have done if we hadn't been there? If Steven hadn't been so conveniently close for you that day? Then you would have been FORCED to find another way. And that's all I'm asking now. For that other Jack to TRY.

How was it so easy for you to kill him? I don't understand. He was your grandson. Mum was right. I should have stayed away from you. I should never have moved to Cardiff when she died.

I'm not going to do that. I won't pretend Steven is still alive. I know he's not. I'm grieving, not delusional! You really are a bastard. I don't know what Mum saw in you in the first place and I really wish she hadn't seen it.

It is so hard to reconcile that you are the same man as that version of you in 1975. I wonder what he would think of what you did. I wonder if you'd be able to turn this around on me as easily if this wasn't private and everyone knew what you had done.

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

ennosigaios
2011-01-21 08:51 am UTC (link)

Then stop ACTING like you are, Alice! Because this messing with the timelines thing and all the bullshit information you're spouting to the entirety of the network is you attempting to play god, as if you have all the information.
So according to what you just said, it wouldn't have mattered if you told a past self to run or not, because it wasn't me that took you there to begin with. They found you anyway.

No, it wouldn't have forced me to find another way it would have killed everyone. It wasn't a matter of convenience, it was a matter of need. Had he not been there then we would have failed. And all the deaths would have been for absolutely NOTHING.

Again, you are just showing how naive you are. As if my decision was a walk in the park. Yes, he was my grandson but it was him or everyone. Had I been able to give my own life I would have. I've lost everyone in my life a thousand times over and you can't even imagine the suffering I've been through even before your stubborn ass existed.

I stayed away from your life as much as possible so you wouldn't be so affected by my life. But again, all my fault. I must have been the one that somehow forced you to make the decisions you did. I may be a bastard but at least I'm not content with being an ignorant child.

Even if this wasn't private, I'd still say the same thing. But I don't try to mess with the timelines or created alternate realities. I'm not the one who is so blissfully ignorant to think that anything that I do while in another time would affect what has already happened.

I use to think you were so much like your mother, but now I see that you are as much of a bastard as I am.

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

devils_daughter
2011-01-21 09:23 am UTC (link)

You just don't care at all. I don't know why I'm so stunned, but I am. You don't care a single bit. I just can't believe it. ~~I'm so stupid.~~

Why are you berating ME for this? I don't have all the answers, but at least I'm trying.

I don't know why I'm even bothering any more. You've made your mind up and nothing is going to change it.

~~I should never have moved to Cardiff~~

~~I wish I didn't care what you think~~

You're just making me hate you more.

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Re: jacks_innuendo/devils_daughter

ennosigaios
2011-01-21 09:29 pm UTC (link)

~~I care more than you'll ever know. All the memories I have are too much to bare sometimes and that why I try to drink it away... or run away.~~

Because trying without all the information is half-assed. There's nothing to make up my mind about. It already happened. I already have to live with myself and I at least tried to get away so you could move on with your life.

I wish I was still the same man I was in 1975. I was so excited about your birth and happy just being stuck in time. Just let that version of me be happy, because that was the last time I truly was.

~~You're still my daughter and that love I have for you is what makes my life and choices so torturous.~~

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