Lex Thornton (g33kboy) wrote in supernextdoor, @ 2012-04-20 20:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | 10.05.11, lex, lex and zack, zack |
Who: Lex and Zack
What: Late night phonecall & cuddles
When: Wednesday night
Where: Lex’s apartment
Warnings: Schmoop. Total schmoop..
Lex was well behaved - he didn’t have more than a couple of beers with Ace, going over what had happened with Zack and demanding more details about him and Katee before heading back to his apartment. He’d texted Zack to explain that he was going to be late, he just hoped that the other man was still awake.
Flopping down on his bed, Lex kicked off his shoes, debating whether to text Zack first before deciding against it. Rolling onto his back, one arm behind his head, he dialled the phone and nervously held it to his ear.
When the text had come through earlier in the night, Zack had assumed the worst. He'd figured that it was code for 'fuck off, I've had some time to think'. But still he'd laid in his bed, watching his cell phone and waiting for it to ring. He nearly fell off the bed as he scrambled up from the mattress to collect his phone from the side table and flipped it open, trying not to let his voice reveal just how intently he'd been waiting for that phone call.
"Hello?"
“Hi, Zack, it’s me.” Lex stammered, blushing. “Um, Lex.” Just in case Zack was expecting a call, just in case he didn’t know it was him. Stupid, he knew, but it was too late to take it back. There were butterflies in his stomach even at the thought of talking to Zack, and Lex couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”
"I think I know that sexy voice of yours by now, sugar." he replied softly as he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "It's okay." he assured Lex, letting out a little sigh. "I did worry that you were just blowing me off because you didn't want to talk to me. That you realized this was ridiculous." he admitted, biting his lower lip. "I'm glad you called."
“No, babe, I wouldn’t...” Lex paused, realising what he would have thought if their positions had been reversed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think...it’s just that Ace came in, and he wanted to talk to me but work was too busy, so I said we could go for a drink.” He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it thoroughly dishevelled. “I wanted to talk to you. I still do.”
"Ace?" he questioned, his mind immediately going to all the possible relationships that Lex could have with some guy named Ace - since it was totally a guy name - and it made his stomach ache and his heart clench. "Friend of yours?" he asked, trying not to sound as jealous and possessive as he really and truly was.
Lex nodded, even though Zack couldn’t see. “Yeah, I met him when I was having lunch at work. He’s a cool guy.” Lex smiled, thinking of Ace, and Katee, and hoping that their date tomorrow was going to go well. He was sure he’d hear all about it from Katee in due course.
“He’s actually the reason I was hungover this morning. He took me out and got me drunk last night.” It had been Zack’s fault he’d needed to get drunk, but Lex wasn’t going to say that.
"Oh." he said, sounding like he'd been punched in the gut. A friend who took him for drinks and got him hungover. He wondered if that friend came along with benefits. "Well that's cool." he said, though the words came out more like he was saying 'who the fuck does this guy think he is?'. But he knew well and good that he didn't have the right to say anything. "Not the hangover part, but getting out."
“Yeah, it’s all his fault. He started us on the Captain Morgan.” It had helped, at the time. Not so much when he’d woken with an aching head this morning. Slightly oblivious, it took Lex a moment to realise that Zack sounded upset, angry.
“Oh, he’s...no, I don’t mean, like, out out. Like a date,” Lex explained hurriedly. “He’s straight, he was just trying to cheer me up. He’s totally into Katee, the girl who walked in on us this morning.”
Zack breathed a very audible sigh of relief. "I know I shouldn't even be allowed to be jealous..." he began with a little sigh. "But I am." Even of this straight guy who apparently had a thing for Asian women. "Silly right?"
“It’s not silly,” Lex murmured, smiling despite himself. It felt good, even if it was a little mean, to know that Zack was jealous of people he spent his time with.
“You don’t need to be jealous,” he assured him. “There hasn’t been anyone else. Not since you.” He’d been hurt, and lonely, but he’d never gone looking for anything. It hadn’t felt right, not when he knew he was just trying to replace the person he really wanted. Lex sighed softly, rolling onto his side, curling up with the phone tight against his ear.
"Not since me seven months ago or not since me this morning?" he teased, smiling a little at his own words. "There hasn't been anyone else since you either." he reminded Lex. "Not since I met you. No matter how much I might have flirted, that's where it ended, you know that right?" he breathed.
Lex laughed at Zack’s first question, shaking his head. It felt so good to have Zack tease him - he hadn’t realised quite how much he’d missed it.
“Yeah, I know,” he answered more seriously, picking idly at a loose thread on his bedsheets. “I’m sorry, I said...I said a lot of horrible things.” He was ashamed of them, now, but he couldn’t take them back. He could just hope that they could move on, together.
“I was scared, because it felt like I was losing you. And then that guy was all over you, and you were alone for so long at the party...” Lex bit down hard on his lower lip, eyes smarting a little. “He came back, and the look on his face...god, I nearly punched him.” He’d been convinced Zack had slept with him, more because of that than anything else.
Zack let out a little sigh, knowing exactly who Lex was thinking about. "You thought I cheated with that?" he questioned. "Please. He got laid that night, but not by me. And I was gone because I was hurling my lunch and dinner from drinking way too much." he explained to the other man. "I'm sorry I didn't discourage you from thinking what you did, I just... There were so many other things going on at the time and I just felt like I wasn't what you needed. I felt like I was holding you back from being happy and it wasn't fair of me." he sighed, brushing his hair back with one hand. "But all I succeeded in was making myself miserable and you even more so in the process because I'm an ignorant twit."
“We were both ignorant twits,” Lex assured him, needing Zack to know that it wasn’t one or the other of them that was at fault. They’d both been idiots, both done the wrong thing...and they’d both been miserable as a result.
“But we’re not anymore.” He couldn’t help but smile, thinking of their date on Saturday night. “I missed you, babe. I’m so glad you found me.”
"You didn't make it easy to find you, Mr. I had to fall off the face of the earth." he reminded him. It had taken Bethany ages to find the guy even as amazingly technical as she was. "But I wasn't going to stop looking for you. You're the only guy that I want, Lex. I love you and being away from you was like holding my breath and feeling my lungs fill up with water." he explained even though that didn't begin to express the pain he'd felt in being apart from the man he loved.
“I love you too,” Lex whispered. He’d had to run away, had to disappear completely. he knew what Bethany was like, that she’d try and track him down no matter what Zack said, how they’d broken up. That was why he’d been so careful, shipped everything through a company he’d never used before so there wasn’t even a paperwork link back to the shop in LA.
“I’m sorry, babe. I promise I’ll never disappear like that again.” He didn’t intend to ever leave Zack, not again. He just hoped the same was true of the other man.
Zack didn't plan on going anywhere or doing anything to jeopardize his relationship with Lex. He loved him and wanted to be with him. He'd do all in his power to make sure that nothing messed that up. "I've missed hearing you say that." he murmured softly. "Almost as much as I've missed hearing the sound of your voice. And you in general."
“I missed you too,” Lex admitted, closing his eyes as if that would bring Zack closer. He knew why he wanted to take it slow, knew it was the best idea, but it didn’t stop him from wanting Zack here. From wanting to touch him, hold him. He bit down hard on his lower lip to stop from asking Zack to come over - he was going to end up biting right through it, at this rate.
“Can’t wait til Saturday,” he admitted, smiling softly. “til I get to see you again.”
"Me too." he agreed. "I'm not used to sleeping alone. I miss you kicking me in the middle of the night." he murmured, letting out a little sigh. "Miss the way you feel in the morning. Miss touching you. Just miss you in general." Which the memories didn't help. Each thing he whispered made him remember more and the floodgates seemed to open up. He shivered a bit, the bed cool while he was occupying it alone. "God I miss you."
Lex closed his eyes tighter, determined not to cave, not to give in.
“Fuck it,” he muttered. “Do you want to come and sleep here?” He couldn’t waste another minute, couldn’t imagine sleeping when he knew Zack was in the same town, feeling just as lonely as he was.
“I can’t promise I’ll be good company, since I’m already half asleep,” he admitted, “but I wanna fall asleep with you again. Wake up with your arms around me.”
Zack was surprised by the offer but he certainly wasn't unhappy about it. He moved to get out of the bed, tangled his feet up in the blanket and fell off the edge of the bed with a little grunt. "Y-yeah." he said as he tried to scramble to his feet, not even bothering to throw on anything more than a jacket to go with his pajama bottoms that he was currently wearing. It didn't matter that it was cold outside. It could have been a blizzard but he'd still not have taken any more time than he had to. He scribbled out a note to Bethany letting her know he was out for the evening and stuck it to the refrigerator door with a magnet. "Just gimme the address and I'll be there."
Lex gave him the address, repeating it twice to make sure Zack had got it. With a promise that Zack was on his way, Lex hung up the phone. He looked around his room, cursing at the mess. Tossing laundry into the closet, he jammed the doors shut, hurriedly making the bed (thank god, he’d put clean sheets on last night). Kicking shoes and books under the bed, it only took him a few minutes to have the room straightened up. His living room and kitchen weren’t much better, but he didn’t really care.
He looked down at himself, realising he was still wearing his work clothes. Cursing, he changed into pyjama bottoms and a worn Captain America tshirt with a hole at the neck - it was one that Zack had bought for him, before they’d even started dating. Nibbling nervously on his thumbnail, he paced the living room, waiting for a knock at the door.
He broke a couple speeding limits on the way to Lex's place, but he didn't really give a damn. He looked pretty ridiculous once he reached the guy's door, wearing a jacket over his shirtless torso and a pair of pajamas and his shoes still untied, not even having bothered with socks. He let out a little sigh and knocked on the door and bit his lower lip as he waited for Lex to open the door.
Lex breathed a sigh of relief at the knock on the door, practically running for it. Unfortunately, that meant he stubbed his toe on the corner of the couch.
“Ow, fuck fuck fuck fuck...” he hopped towards the door, clutching his toe. Feigning normality when he opened the door to Zack, he grinned. The expression widened as his gaze slipped down from Zack’s face, to the bare chest underneath his jacket, the untied shoes.
“In a hurry, were you?” He murmured, teasing, though he was still grinning widely. He grabbed hold of Zack’s jacket, pulling him into the apartment and closing the door. Wrapping his arms tightly around Zack, he nuzzled into the gap between Zack’s collar and his throat, sighing happily. This felt right; and God, how he’d missed Zack’s hugs.
"Yeah." Zack whispered, his own arms slipping around Lex in return. He'd missed the hugs too. He missed everything that he'd been unable to have in the last few months without his lover. "I wasn't sure how I was going to sleep without you." he whispered. "Not when I remembered how much I love laying beside you."
Lex slid his hands under Zack’s jacket, easing it off his shoulders. He caught it just before it hit the floor, tossing it over the back of the couch.
“Come on. Come to bed.” He grinned soppily, loving the feeling of saying that to Zack, for the first time since he’d left. He took the other man’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he led Zack towards his bedroom, looking forward to cuddling up in bed with him, warm under the covers.
It felt just as good to hear the words for Zack as it had been for Lex to say them. He smiled and followed after Lex. Once in the other man's bedroom, he discarded his shoes and slipped his arms around his lover's waist from behind. Resting his chin in the crook of Lex's shoulder, he let out a content little sigh. "I can't believe you didn't burn that shirt." he murmured of what Lex had chosen to wear. "I was pretty sure everything that reminded you of me was shipped to Goodwill or destroyed." he admitted.
Lex smiled, leaning back against Zack and placing his hands over Zack’s arms, wrapped around his waist.
“I couldn’t,” he murmured. “It still smelled of you, of our bed.” He looked down, smile fading as he thought of the lonely months after he’d moved here. “I slept with it wrapped around my pillow for weeks, hoping it’d help me get to sleep.” All it had done was drive him crazy, remind him how much he missed his boyfriend. Eventually he’d shoved it in a drawer, unable to get rid of it altogether.
"Well now you won't have to try and get my smell off a shirt." he whispered, turning his head enough that he could press his lips gently against Lex's neck. "I'm here and if I have to roll around in the thing for an hour to make my scent transfer, I'm fully prepared." he smiled, giving Lex a little squeeze.
Lex laughed, turning in Zack’s arms. He wrapped his arms around Zack’s neck, kissing him softly and sweetly, refusing to break away as he led them both to bed. It was with great reluctance that he broke the kiss, pulling back the covers and sliding into bed, patting the empty space beside him.
“C’mere, babe,” he murmured, looking up at Zack.
Well he wasn't going to deny that request. He crawled into the bed with Lex and curled up against him with a content little sigh. "You do realize that it's going to be hard as hell for me to not sleep with you every night, right?" he murmured, leaning in for another kiss because damn it was hard to resist. "Giving me a taste like this is just gonna make me want more sugar, Sugar."
Lex tangled their legs together, cuddling into to Zack’s chest. He sighed softly into the kiss, flattening his palm against Zack’s muscled chest, thumb stroking softly over warm skin, over and over again.
“I know I said we should take it slow,” he murmured, refusing to stop kissing the other man, even for a second, “but I don’t even want to think about sleeping without you.” It felt too good to have Zack in his arms. He wasn’t letting him go again.
Zack certainly didn't want to think about not being able to sleep next to the man he loved. "We can still take it slow." he breathed, gently brushing his fingers through Lex's hair. "I mean if you don't want to do more than just lay here together every night, that's okay." he promised him. "I'd wait forever for you to trust me again."
Lex closed his eyes, sighing happily as Zack’s fingers carded through his hair. God, it felt so good...he shifted closer, tucking his face against Zack’s throat, their bodies touching from head to toe.
“I just need you to hold me,” he murmured, softly, kissing Zack’s neck, his hand sliding up and down the other man’s spine, over and over again, drinking in the feel of warm skin against his. “God, I missed this so much, babe. Missed you.”
"Missed you." he replied. God he had. He ached for Lex so much that it hurt even lying here with him remembering that he'd been horrible enough to lose him for even as short a time as seven months. "I'll hold you for as long as you want." he told him, holding tight to Lex with a little sigh.
“Feels like I haven’t slept properly since you left,” Lex admitted, tugging the covers up until their faces were barely poking out, warm and cozy. He couldn’t stop touching Zack, squirming impossibly closer, amazed at how much this felt like coming home.
“Just want to fall asleep in your arms,” he murmured, biting back a yawn. “And wake up in them, too.”
"Go to sleep, sugar." he murmured, gently brushing his fingers through Lex's hair. "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise." It was a promise that he intended to keep. The first one of many.
Lex shook his head sleepily. “Don’t wanna go to sleep,” he protested muzzily, though he was already well on his way. “Wan’ stay up and cuddle.” Despite his words, though, he closed his eyes, sighing as Zack’s fingers continued to stroke through his hair. This was perfection, and he couldn’t fight the urge to drift off to sleep.
Zack smiled a little. He knew Lex all too well and knew that the man was drifting as soon as his speech began to get a smidgen slurred. He gently brushed his hand through Lex's hair, urging him off to sleep. Just being close to Lex was plenty enough for Zack. It was more than he could have asked for.