leapinglioness (leapinglioness) wrote in supernextdoor, @ 2012-04-29 16:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | 10.05.11, charlie, charlie and chloe, chloe |
Boys suck at feelings
who: Charlie and Chloe
what: Heart to Heart
when: Wednesday Night
where: Lion's Den
warnings: n/a
Charlie sat on her bed cross legged, slowly turning the pages of the photo album she kept hidden under her bed. It was one of the photo albums from when she was a baby. In it were pictures of her mom. Charlie realized today when she thought about her, she couldn't remember when she looked like. It happened sometimes, so Charlie would sit on her bed and look at pictures and force herself to remember.
She had very few memories of her mother. Most of them were from when she was sick. Charlie liked looking at the pictures to see what her mom looked like when she was healthy and pretty. It had been a long time. Chloe had been closer to their mom, but Charlie had always been daddy's little slugger. Even when she was a toddler, pictures showed her playing ball with her dad, wearing pants while her sisters wore dresses.
After her mom died, there were less pictures. Less time. Dad worked, grandma took care of them and it just went like that. This move was supposed to be so they could be a closer family again. A better, easier job for dad and more time for all of them. But now he wanted to be with some other woman. Someone who would take up his time. Charlie had tried to be fair because she didn't want to be mean, but her dad was the only parent she had ever really known and she had to fight for his attention enough as it was.
It was all just a mess. Her father was mad at her and she was hurting and she just hated all of it. They should have just stayed in the city. At least there she knew where she stood there.
Chloe had gone up to her sister's room as soon as she'd seen Dimitri off. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to her sister, but she knew that Charlie needed her. She intended to be there for her, even if the middle Richards girl didn't really want her to be. She made her way up the stairs and leaned against the door, lightly knocking a bit and drawing in a breath. "Charlie," she murmured. "Can I come in?"
Charlie heard her sister coming upstairs but she certainly didn't expect her to come to her room. she jumped a bit at the knock and closed the photo album. "Um, sure." she said, going to her door and quickly wiping her face to hide the fact she had been crying before unlocking it. "What's up?" she asked as she opened the door.
She couldn't really hide the tears that had been shed completely and as soon as Chloe entered the room and closed the door behind herself, she wrapped Charlie in a hug and sighed. "I know that you haven't had the best day and I'm sorry for whatever it is that's bothering you," she told her firstly. "I just want us to talk because I know Daddy's not the best guy for conversations and maybe I'll understand your side a little better," she explained. "If you wanna talk to me."
To say she was surprised when her sister hugged her would be an understatement. They had been at one another's throats for so long she didn't think she and Chloe had much of a relationship as sisters left. It took a minute, but slowly Charlie hugged her sister back, fighting more tears. "Does Daddy even want us anymore?" she asked in a quiet whisper. It was kind of a stupid question, and even Charlie knew it was ridiculous, but the ache in her chest didn't think with logic.
Chloe sighed a little and pushed Charlie's hair behind her ear. "Of course Daddy wants us," she told her. "You've got to be a fool to even think that, Charlie. He just... he wants to be happy and this lady that he likes she makes him happy and I know that it's not easy to think about him being with someone, but what happens when we all grow up and move away?" She guided Charlie to the bed and let her sit down, reaching over to grab a brush from the nightstand and slowly pulling it through her sister's hair. "You don't want him to be alone, do you?" she asked. "I know you love him just as much as I do and you want him to be happy, so what's got you thinking that he doesn't want you?"
It had been a while since Chloe had brushed her hair so she shut her eyes and let her, enjoying the comfort it brought. "Of course I want him to be happy, which was why I told him I was ok with it." she said softly. "It's just....we moved out here so his job would be less stressful and take less time away from us...Some woman is going to take time away from us which completely defeats the point of this whole move so...Why did we even bother? You would of been happier back in the city with your friends and it wouldn't of made much of a difference to me or Gracie...." She sighed, her fingers touching the album on her bed. "I wish mom was alive...Everything would of been so different."
"You shouldn't have told him you were okay with it if you weren't," Chloe told her, her voice even and as non confrontational as she could make it. "He's not going to know that you're upset if you don't tell him. He's a boy, boys are dumb like that. They don't understand the things that go on in our heads and when we say something, they just take it like it's said or read into it too much and make a mess of things." She might have only been seventeen, but she knew boys. Boys were ridiculous and Daddy was a boy. "He's still going to have time for us," she promised. "Even if he is dating this lady. You know he makes every one of your games unless something horrible comes up. He wouldn't miss out on watching you kick ass on the field for a date and if he does, I'll yell at him," she smiled. "How's that sound?"
She watched her sister touch the album and she nodded a little. "I wish Mama was still here too, but she's not. And as sucky as it is and as horribly as I miss her, she'd just want us all to be happy. And I know that I haven't been the best sister to you, Charlie, but I want you happy and I can tell that you're not. So is it more than just Daddy dating that's on your mind?" she questioned. "How are things at school?"
Chloe did know Charlie well and she sighed. "High school sucks." she said flatly. "I mean, the girls on my team like me well enough because with me we always win, but I don't really have any friends. I didn't have a lot back in DC either, but I had a few good ones that were real friends...People keep saying I must be a dyke and all this stupid stuff and it's just...." She opened the album to the pictures of when they were little, how much of a girl Charlie never was. "Did I ever fit in right?"
Using the brush to pull some of Charlie's hair back, she began to french braid the girl's hair as she listened to her talk. "It's still early yet," she told her sister. "You'll find your niche and everyone will see how amazing you are. If people don't want to be your friend, fuck 'em. You're awesome and that's all that matters. Walk with pride, you're a fuckin' lioness." If that wasn't something to be proud of, she didn't know what was. "And as far as girls calling you a dyke, they're just jealous. They can't play sports as well as you and still be as pretty as you are. I bet there are tons of boys that like you at school but are probably scared you could kick their asses," she smiled.
"You shouldn't worry so much about fitting in, Charlie. You were born to stand out. You were always so adorable not wanting to dress up in frilly stuff like me. You were always Daddy's favorite and you know you still are. You two are like the same person living in separate bodies. You got him like I never could. To be honest, I was jealous of you from the second you came home," she admitted. Charlie was the special one, the one Daddy always spent the most time with. The sweet and tomboyish one. She liked to fish and play sports and do things that Chloe could never in her wildest dreams be capable of. "You're a star, Charlie. Don't let those stupid girls at school make you think any differently."
"I probably could kick their asses." she said with a small smile. Charlie was starting to notice boys a bit more than just guys to shoot hoops with, but she didn't think they thought of her like that. Maybe Chloe was right, though. She knew about this kind of stuff. "And you shouldn't be jealous of me." she said with a roll of her eyes. "I may be the Slugger, but you're the Princess and there were times I wish I was that....Guess we're both just kinda stupid, huh?" Charlie hated fighting with her sister all the time, in truth. It was exhausting and bad for Gracie. "I want Dad to be happy...I guess it's just hard for me to think of another female in our pride."
"Of course you could kick their asses," Chloe told her with a grin. She smiled a little when Charlie admitted to being a little jealous of her. "Guess so," she agreed, nodding a little as she finished up the braid and tied it off with a small hair tie. "I won't lie, I'm not thrilled about having some woman come into the pride and stuff, but I'm willing to give her a chance. For Daddy's sake if nothing else. She makes him happy and if she does that, there must be something good about her. He's not stupid. He loves us and he's spent the last ten years taking care of us all by himself. I think he deserves this one thing. And Gracie...," she sighed.
"I think Gracie needs a mommy. Maybe this won't go that far, but she needs someone to look up to that isn't Grandma or us. Someone who'll be here for her when both of us go off to school. I've only got this year left and you're gonna be going off to college not long after that and she'll be all alone with Daddy and you wouldn't want her to deal with that, would you?"
Charlie sighed and turned to look at her sister once her hair was done. "I know you're right...I know I was stupid. But dammit, he acted like a total asshole too." she said, pursing her lips a bit. "Him and I just suck at talking. We always have." Charlie was like her dad way too much. "I don't know how to say sorry or say it's ok to him."
"I don't think he means to be an ass. He just doesn't know how to talk about things sometimes," she agreed. "Like I said, he's a guy. And you think a lot like a guy and two people who think like guys trying to talk about their feelings usually don't work out," she laughed, gently cupping her sister's cheek. "Just tell him you're sorry. That's all that you can do. Tell him it caught you off guard and you didn't know how to react. That's the truth of it all. And if you want me to mediate, I will," she added, smiling at her sister. "Come on, maybe I can make us some ice cream sundaes." she offered. "Nothing makes you feel better than some ice cream."
Chloe was right. She would apologize to him in the morning, after he had had some sleep and she had more time to calm herself down. She was still a little upset, but her talk with her sister definitely helped. "Ice cream sounds good." she said, climbing out of her bed and heading downstairs with her sister. Everything was changing again and Charlie was beginning to realize she was going to need her sister again....Just like when they were little.