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Tweak says, "It's wingardium leviOsa"

tough_tonks (tough_tonks) wrote in strugglewithin,
@ 2008-11-03 19:09:00

Entry tags:

*complete, august 1997, npc, nymphadora lupin, remus lupin

RP: A Quiet Shock...
Date: 3 August 1997, Evening
Characters: Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Lupin
Location: Tonks' (and Remus') Flat, Just off Diagon Alley
Status: Private, Unless you want to knock on the door!
Summary: Tonks finally breaks the news to Remus about their unexpected bundle of joy.
Completion: Complete

Coming home was rarely difficult for Tonks, at least not since they had been married but a scant month before. Despite her flat being tiny, there was a warmth with Remus' presence that it hadn't ever held before. It truly felt like a home and not simply a place of residence near to her work. And she did live near to London, just down a little side alley off of Diagon and above a shop that sold magical time pieces and the like. Her apartment consisted of a single, small living area and an even small bedroom beyond. The living area held two shabby couches and a plush chair, all of different textiles, surrounding a fire place and an old, knicked coffee table. The floors were hardwood and worn, but covered with comfortable rugs of all different colours and shapes. Everything looked hand-me-down from her furniture, to her curtains and even to her dishware, but it was all immensely comfortable, well loved and practical. In short, it was Tonks.

She loved her flat. She loved her husband. She loved coming home, but just not tonight. There was really no denying her suspicions any longer and, a quick trip to Mungo's on her lunch hour confirmed, she was pregnant. She wasn't just sick with some mid summer cold or stomach bug, but hormones and the preparation for entirely too many unexpected changes. If the world wasn't too quickly tumbling towards war, if just today she hadn't heard from her boss' lips the shift in powers at the Ministry, if they had possibly just been married a month or so longer, the entire matter might be considered a blessing. But all those factors built upon each other to make the news possibly mote frightening than happy. She didn't even know how to tell him.

And that fear, that dread, is what made her hesitate outside her own door. She walked home instead of apparating tonight. She stopped at the Cauldron for a mug of tea. She listened to the various rumors and heated whispers about the resignation/removal/disappearance/killing of Rufus Scrimgeour. The account of the matter changed depending on who was speaking about it and to whom they were speaking. It wasn't necessarily her job or assignment, but Tonks couldn't help but keep an ear open for all the heated information. And it did delay her homecoming, but she could only delay so long.

Now, almost a full two hours late from her usual time to return home from work, Tonks finally worked up the courage to push open her front door and walk up the stairs to their tiny flat. She slipped the key in the lock, focused her mind and a quiet word on dropping the few protective wards she had in place, and slipped into the living room. "...Remus? Are you home?" It wasn't her usual greeting either. Not a friendly 'wotcher', or a kiss, or the usual immediate removal and tossing away of her Auror's robes to some random arm of a chair in the room. She was quiet tonight. Pensive.

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sw_npc_1
2008-11-05 09:13 pm UTC (link)

His eyes swept the flat, the hodgepodge of furniture and the bright colors, all of which embodied Dora's eclectic, warm personality. He loved her, he did; he just couldn't stay and watch her realize what a disservice he'd done her.

"They may be wrong," he said quietly, "but I don't see this ending quickly." He didn't even know if it would truly end. "The Order won't stop my child from fearing me. It won't stop the child from taking after me. What will you do, if it does? What will you do when it changes? You won't be able to take care of it, and neither will I. I don't even know if Wolfsbane would work on an infant. Dora, you don't even know how it will affect your pregnancy! Did you ask? Did you tell the Healer?"

He didn't think she had, but couldn't look at her, not when she was begging him and saying she wouldn't know what to do without him. He didn't want to do leave, but he could see no other way of making this better for her. His presence would make things worse.

"You'll be better off," he said in a brittle voice. "Stay with your parents, where it's safe."

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tough_tonks
2008-11-05 09:22 pm UTC (link)

"You child will never fear you, Remus. Just as I don't fear you. Love is stronger than fear. And... if... If it is passed to your child, then he will need you all the more! Do you truly wish to leave him alone through this?! No, we don't know what is to come, or what will change, but we shouldn't be doing it alone! I can't... can't do this alone, Remus. Please." Tonks whispered faintly, taking one shaking step in his direction but not actually able to get the strength to go farther.

He had demolished her with his determination to leave. He had taken everything she loved, all she fought for, and ripped it from her heart. Now she stood empty, cold, and so very alone. She couldn't even find any more words, though tears finally broke their way through. The only last show of emotion from Nymphadora were the silent and steady streaks of saline down her ashen pale face. She couldn't move, could barely breathe, but she could cry. Tears were all she had left with him gone from her grasp.

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sw_npc_1
2008-11-05 09:46 pm UTC (link)

He found it difficult to believe her. Love might very well be stronger than fear, but in his experience, it didn't last long.

"You won't be doing it alone," he told her, and shifted to look at the door. "Your parents will be there for you. They'll understand." They'll be relieved.

He forced himself to look at her, and blinked back tears as he did. He soaked in the mousy brown color of her hair and the tears running down her pale face. He knew she was hurting, but it would get better and she would understand. Her parents would see to that.

"I'm sorry, Dora," he said quietly, and then turned towards the door. He wasn't sure where he would go, or what he would do, but he'd been on his own with nothing before. It was better this way.

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tough_tonks
2008-11-05 10:12 pm UTC (link)

"Remus..." Tonks' voice crackled out quietly, the only thing she could think to say. She didn't have anything more she could say. She had run out of protests and promises. Apparently, none of it mattered. The only response she heard from him was the quiet opening of the door. And, a moment later, the click of it shut.

The shutting of that door ripped open her world. Where she had been locked in icy numbness, the soft click ripped everything free. She screamed. She had no other words, but she had passion and pain. It ripped from her throat in a sound primal and horrific. Before she knew what was happening, she fell to her knees, still screaming through the tears.

Tonks ripped off her wedding ring, tossing it at the door in the fit of emotion and pain. She didn't even see where it fell or hear the quiet clink that was drown in the cry of her voice. But the scream could not last. Soon, it dissolved into wracking, quiet sobs. She lay on her side, across the ground, curled into a tight little ball. She couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't speak.

Her marriage was over. All she knew was pain and tears.

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