Good Morning Stepfurt... is that right? Stepfurt? We moved from Stepford right over to Stepfurt, okay. Good Morning Stepfurt, this is Josh Bath with the Realest Hour.
And again, it's such an honor to be a part of this amazing news team. Seems we have quite a bit of news to cover today since most of this stuff happened at least a week ago. So first things first, Ronald Trunt was killed by his wife Maria Michael in the dressing room of the modeling agency that he owned. It's unclear whether or not Mrs. Michael is facing any jail time over that. Does anyone know? Drop a line if you know.
Anyways, I don't know who had time to catch that concert the other night by that band of mutant teenagers but I hope you didn't because -- a lot of people died. Total massacre of human lives by both the band and half of the Avengers until the end there when the bad Avengers suddenly switched sides and turned on the band. No word really about what happened there either but I'm scared. I don't know about you but I'm terrified. I literally cannot sleep at night because I'm afraid one of them's going to rip my house apart and kill me. It's been five days and no sleep. I've had so much coffee just to function right now, can you see my hand? Can I get a closeup on my hands? They're trembling, see? I can't tell if it's the fear or the caffeine at this point. Probably both. I wonder what's going on in their heads during something like that. No, I wonder what's going on in their heads just in their ordinary lives. Some of these guys are married, right? Some have girlfriends and boyfriends. I wonder what it's like to try to balance being pretty much a normal life and Avengers stuff.
So let me ask you a question, what do you think? Could you date someone who has godlike powers and runs the whole town to their liking? I think I could. I think I could. It's intimidating but not in a bad way. What do you think? Call in, lines are open. I want to hear what the people of Stepfurt think about this.
[Into the dressing room he goes. He sees a young hot piece of Bachata and decides to give her a healthy dose of Ron-Ron. He walks up to the teen and rubs his hand over her flamingo. He pulls her close against his spicy corndog and pulls her hair back, away from her ear so he can whisper to her.]
I could doink you right here and now. Why don't you take that top off so Daddy can see your sweet chocolate melons?
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