I'm thinking of proposing to Harper the night before Thanksgiving. Is everyone okay with that?

It's been a few days since an evil force tried to takeover Stepford. Can I relax now?

[Anyone who identifies as law enforcement, no double agents]
We should talk.

[ETA: Naz, Amanda, Cordy, Malese]
I'm turning Vik in. He locked me in the basement again, I'm done with him. I told the cops about his trade tonight, can someone drive me to the docks so I can shoot him if they don't show?

After we take down WICKED, I'm resigning as mayor.

[Steve]

I think you should run for the position.

[Stepford]

Anyone who kills a local OR a displaced person is subject to arrest and imprisonment until it can be determined if it was done in self-defense. There is absolutely NO law that says it's okay to kill or harm locals and doing so will result in punishment.

Period.

Welcome Stepford to the If I Were In Your Shoes advice post? Video? Podcast? Whatever have you. I am Al and this is my co-host Mae and we're here to give you life advice, answer all your questions, and solve all your problems. Every comment below is automatically anonymous, thanks Micah, so don't worry about that. Ask away. If we don't get to your question today, it's okay. We're going to make this a regular thing. Fire away.

Can you speed up my pregnancy? I'm tired of feeling this way. I went from a 10 to a 1 and everyone's starting to notice. I'm about 5 weeks pregnant now and I'm bloated, I'm throwing up, I'm gassy, I'm always tired, and I keep on crying unprompted. Today I had to leave the room because the smell of Viktor's aftershave was making me want to vomit. I get pissed off just thinking about it.

Do you have anything that can help?

I don't have any problems with the locals but I get mugged literally every time I walk out the front door these days.

80% people on the network won't take the time to read this, but I wanted to let everyone know what happened today.

This afternoon in the hospital's coffee shop I saw a little local girl crying. She was adorable. She had her hair braided and was wearing cute boots. I asked her if she wanted a drink. She ordered a Vanilla Frappe and her tears slowed, but didn't stop. I asked why she was crying and she explained to me that she and her father got into a fight this morning because she wouldn't wake up for school and was going to be late. Before he left he said "I love you, Lily" and she screamed back "I hate you". Well, when he drove away this morning and pulled out of the driveway the last words she said to him were I hate you. He was on Amelia Highway and got hit by a drugged driver and died. And this morning was the last time she'd see her father alive.

Say goodbye, say I love you, never end a conversation with a fight.

[Cady]
I love you.

[Gina]
I love you.

[Anyone who's ever spoken to her before]
I'm pregnant, you guys! I'm going to be a Mom!

It appears Dungeon Bae's at it again. Early yesterday afternoon, Stiles "Dungeon Bae" Stilinski was spotted executing local Weredemon Christine, who was engaged to his eldest son Jimmothy James Carson Stilinski. Apparently the two were set to be wed this Easter Sunday against the Stepford Serial Killer's wishes because of the growing anti-local sentiment. Weredemon Christine then shot and killed Stilinski's three-year-old daughter Mila with a bazooka she fired through the toddler's bedroom window where she was playing at the time. No formal charges have been brought up against the mass killing sexual sadist, due in part to Mayor Thomas's new Free of All law which legally allows the Displaced to kill Stepford natives indiscriminately.

In other news there appears to be unrest in the Carson home as three of the members of this historically traditional household begin divorce proceedings. Sisters Laurel Abernathy and Marie Carson first after their husbands Jake Abernathy and Tarik Shah respectively, found love through their highly public extra-marital affairs. Jake Abernathy moving on to Laurel's own brother Nate Carson and Tarik with local circus performer Finn. James Carson follows his daughters' lead, leaving his wife Amelia for his secretary Neha Patel-Twombly after a two month whirlwind affair that left all of Stepford breathless. [Pictures of Neha and Stuart kissing in their underground bunker.] This only months after Carson was reunited with his long-lost illegitimate half-local son Sid Parrish, which sources say is the catalyst in what drove James into the arms of another woman, after his wife Amelia began incessantly nagging her husband for his affairs.

Mayor Thomas is joining Club Heartbreak as his second girlfriend Faith celebrates her secret engagement to Jason Todd with a night of local hunting. [Picture of Faith staking a vampire. Kitty can be seen in the shot.] There's no comment yet from the mayor about this betrayal but sources say he is recruiting Dungeon Bae in a potentially depraved revenge plot against the town; only time will tell its magnitude.

A special warning to the displaced to be on high alert as extremely dangerous super villain Button, a shapeshifting cold-blooded killer, has escaped the woods and made it past the mayor's grand wall and is now in Stepford thirsty for blood. No information about his whereabouts are available now but it's believed that the were-killer is on a mission to slaughter his last living son Arnie and everyone else in his path.

Be on high alert or you can be next.

This has been Sami Bahar with the Special Report

You know that little blonde girl you always hang out with, Jimmy? I'll kill her. Marry me. We should have babies. Last offer.

[Pippy comes back in after a long night of work and networking with just over 150k in money bags. She's sleepy and hungry and ready for loads of praise for a job well done. She drops all the bags on the table with a smile]
I did it! Aren't you proud of how good I did?

Come here.

I went to Stiles and told him how I felt. He said he felt the same, then I kissed him and he said he doesn't love me anymore. There's someone else. Dolly. I ruined everything. I really thought he liked me. It's been him for over 2 years. Only him. And I fucked it all up by doing what we were supposed to do. All those months with Hale and Tripp. I spoiled the only love that mattered to me.

He didn't even talk to me after I left. I bet he's not even going to tell her about what happened. Russo did choose wrong.

[Kai]
I need you to siphon my powers.