Honestly, I don't know why I expected them to stick around. They're probably all home now and they probably don't even remember us.

[Padme, Thomas, Rhodeys, anyone else on the boards]
Stepford made a new magic law, the locals believe they're owned by their jobs and that if a displaced person helps them find a new job then that means that they've been "purchased." Just an FYI.

[Avengers + Friends]
[Transcript of the relevant parts of his conversation with Skye. Accidentally includes the other AU]
Heads up, Stepford magic is brainwashing locals to think they belong to someone if they help them leave a job. They also feel that if the person changes their mind about helping that Stepford will "repossess" them. We have to find out from the locals the names of the people who have been repossessed so we can bring them back where they belong.

>Hey, I know you left the hospital, you doing ok?

[Evie]
Honestly, I can't tell what's worse, office jobs or the club. [She says, writing her at all hours of the night because she knows she'll still be up. Third trimester insomnia] At least we got to leave the workload in the club.

[Tony]
[She knows she probably should still be doing the silent treatment thing because he didn't "earn her time back"... but she's pretty excited about what she made. It's taken a few weeks to complete, but it's done now. She knows she can't protect him physically like he always does for her, and he never opens up enough for her to be his shoulder to cry on like he also is for her. But she notices things. In the hospital, she witnessed his nightmares. Things like that just don't go away on their own.

So she made a dreamcatcher. An ancient Stepford tool, it's made of willow branches that are molded into a circle and then there's a web that is woven with a hole in the center. Off of the wooden frame, different lengths of feathers dangle on strings. Legend has it that every night, everyone has good dreams and bad dreams, but if you hang the dream catcher over your bed, the bad dreams get tangled in the web and then only the good ones float down the feathers back to you. When the sun rises, the nightmares from the web burn up.

It's a bit of magic, she's no witch, but she does feel like there's a certain power to traditions. She even embellished the dream catcher with some nice stones and gems that are supposed to bring good luck and a calm energy since he's always attracting bad luck and he's always so stressed. That's why when she goes in the following morning, she brings the catcher and a little note explaining what it does and where to put it with her. She puts them on the desk he usually works at and then goes to meet her team for breakfast to discuss their work for the day.

She didn't actually talk to him or even see him, so she doesn't think this actually counts.]

So... I guess I tried to kill everyone. It was an accident and I'm sorry.

Hey my husband moved in with his side whore so who wants to drop all his stuff into the active volcano with me?

Made it out alive. I'm coming over later.

[Spony]
[She stopped by the tower to visit the kids and drop off some food for them after visiting her parents. Then she heads down to the workshop to visit Tony. She came with food, she taps on the glass, honestly, she is a little bit worried when she sees Bruce in the background working on something. Last time she came like this, she almost got pulverized, but he doesn't look up from his work when she comes in and she didn't have food for him anyway.]
You look better.

[Phone call for Alfie the next day]
Hello, I'm calling from Stark Industries for Mr. Alfred Shelley. Yes, I'll hold. [The secretary patches her through to him when he picks up she slips under the desk so her boss wont see] Hey.

It's been a few days since an evil force tried to takeover Stepford. Can I relax now?

I have a thing at work. We're shooting for two weeks straight so I won't be able to call anyone or come by to visit. I set up an automatic meal schedule for the kids and I talked to the department head about taking the time off. Can you do me a favor and make sure you don't switch to [Channel]? I've said it before, but this time it's for real.

Evie
I'll be gone for the next two weeks, Kevin's making us do a two week shoot for the show and gave us "roles." Just don't watch it, trust me.

Evan
Hey, I heard Cap convinced you to move. Do you like the room?

Hey everyone, thanks for coming to visit at the party if you came. I missed Alfie leaving... he went back home so you won't be seeing him on here or at the club anymore. I haven't been able to get through to him, so, no goodbyes from me. [She's quiet for a moment] Anyway, coming back from 6 straight days of being an idiot and missing out on a lot of important things, I'm trying to get myself back on track. I start work again tomorrow. In the meantime, if someone wants to come cheer me up in the Fantasy Room, I'd love that.

[Crew]
So, I talked to Kevin and he said he'd wipe the segment of the show where we got high if the three of us put in 50 thousand dollars and did something "equally as compelling." So now I officially owe him $150,000. [$250 from one day, $500 for the next, $1000 for the next, and so on for 6 straight days, multiplied by 6]

[ETA: Evie]
Sorry I've been M.I.A. I've been an idiot for 6 days straight. I hooked up with Tony when we were drunk at a party, pole danced in front of all the people who went to the party, stayed drunk for the next 3 days, then got attacked by a thug, then spent the next 2 days high on V. Oh, and Alfie's gone. He went back home to buy Merc's freedom from the hive that used to own her. In one week, I ruined things with Tony, lost Alfie, got attacked, and owe too much money not to go back to the Panic Room.

We just defeated a world destroyer so we're 3 to zip in our favor. I need about three tons of alcohol, all the pretty girls Stepford has to offer, a DJ, and everyone legal drinking age and up at my place to celebrate for the next couple days.

Harmony
That stuff on the news. The vigilante. That's you, right?

[They fought Thanos and won. That should be enough to make her happy now, right? Why doesn't that make her happy? She covers her bruised head with a hoodie and reaches out to the Avengers.]
Who else can't sleep?

[He throws food down for a bird in his backyard and smiles. Another flies in and begins to eat. He throws the rest of the food and happily watches the birds eat. A third joins and begins eating. The food is already almost all gone. Thanos frowns. A fourth bird flies in. There's no food left. The birds begin to fight over a bread crumb.]
Oh no. Oh no. [He whispers to himself. One bird pecks the other. He walks over and snatches up two birds at random and snaps their necks before lying them down gently on the ground.]
There, that's better. [The remaining birds fly away. He smiles at them while they fly. So beautiful. So majestic.]

I know a way to stop him. [She hates betraying him like this, but she has to put an end to his wicked rule.]

Everyone knows by now that Mason and I are broken up. It doesn't change how I feel about him; that he's a beautiful, compassionate, and kind person. I don't want anyone to treat him differently or badly on my behalf. It's not what I want. Mason's been there for me from the beginning and I couldn't have asked for a better friend. He's always lent me a shoulder to cry on, a comforting hug, or a listening ear. He fought for me physically and emotionally. He asked me out because he knew how I felt about him and he wanted me to be happy. When he cheated, I truly believe it's because he couldn't find the words to communicate to me that our relationship wasn't making him happy. I'm not angry. We're going to be friends forever and I'd appreciate it if other people didn't try to make him feel badly about being human. Mason is the best person I've ever known. No one's ever treated me better and I doubt they ever will. I'm okay so let's move on. [This is all directed at Kitty tbh]

Thank you.

Avengers
We broke up.

[When he finally wakes up, he's on a completely deserted island. Trees are ripped from the Earth, it looks like several grenades went off. He stumbles to the edge of the island and finds that the exterior is covered in skeletons. It's like something out of The Odyssey. He picks up the tablet on the corner of the island and looks around, but he can't see anything but sea all around. He's topless and wearing cutoff pants, Hulk was definitely here. He tries to think of the last thing he remembers, then it hits him like a brick. The vampires, the girls and Tony. He hopes they're all okay. Hell, he hopes the whole city is okay. Last time he turned green, he destroyed Harlem.]
Hello? Guys? Can somebody give me a lift back to Stepford?

[Tony]
Are the girls okay?