"A Jedi. Like in those films. Lightsabers and all that? Are you taking the piss?" he asked, accidentally slipping into a flawless Australian accent - he sounded like he was born and bred in Sydney rather than London, even when he was hammered.
"Stairs? Fuck off, don't I even rate a couch?" he protested, slightly louder than before. Stairs? Seriously? "My back'll be in kinks, mate!"