Who: Robin and open What: Feels and a hangover Where: Forest somewhere When: Early morning Rating: Low, likely Status: Open
Robin was lost. Not physically, because he was well versed in finding a way around a forest. But mentally, emotionally. What ever other way there could be. It was one thing to come back when you had died. With the disjointed and strange feelings and memories that came with it. But add to that the fact that the woman he loved was engaged to another man, he couldn't bear it. They had been planning a life together. A life which for so long had been denied them. And yet once again it had been snatched away. Only this time, he was cruelly forced in to being a spectator as she moved on without him. And with a man who despite his initial words had not in any way been deserving of hatred. Robin was angry, but he could not direct it at Hansel. Or even Marian, in many respects. As much as it filled him with hurt that she had moved on so fast, the truth was his hatred was directed inward. At himself. He hated himself for having left her again, even though it had not been his choice this time.
How could he live without her? What was the point? Did God truly hate him so much still that he would make him witness her live a happy life without him? He had already paid the price for his sins so many times. Had done so much to try and make up for it. The last time she had been almost forced to marry another, he had been ready to leave it all behind. Here, he didn't have that luxury.
He had come back to the forest, despite Maryanne's warnings. He felt more at home here, and he felt there was less chance he would run in to Marian here. He hoped for it and dreaded it all at the same time. And how he longed to meet his son. But he did not know if he were ready for that either. Everything was so confused, so fractured in his mind. Maybe it was the hangover, maybe it was a symptom of coming back from the dead, or perhaps he simply couldn't bear his own thoughts right now. Not when they were on the current situation. Tears of anger and frustration burned in his eyes that he couldn't stop. He rested his head against the trunk of the tree behind him, closing his eyes against them. He couldn't breathe. Didn't Marian know that without her he couldn't breathe?