Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë Aracáno (nolofinwe) wrote in spinningcompass, @ 2013-06-21 21:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed |
Who: Fingolfin & Anairë
What: Fingolfin is telling Anairë off, they’re otherwise discussing the contents of his recent network.
Where: Vinyamar
When: After his post
Warnings | Status: Fighting (well, he’s a Vanya) | Logged | Complete
Fingolfin was irritated by the discussion that occurred on the network. Irritated but not spiteful or at all angry at Maryanne, or any of the others that would no doubt express their opinions on the issue. He felt it was ill conceived, willful and a bit ridiculous. But that was also the same opinion he had of Anairë’s response. What did it matter that the woman had insulted her? She was allowed to dislike them as surely as they disliked the majority of the humans.
He stood now, leaned against a table with his arms folded across his chest, watching her. He was clearly annoyed, but held himself together with the calm resolve of his Vanyarin blood.
“You must learn to control yourself,” he said again, reaching around for his glass of wine.
***
“I think if I have not learned it in thirty-three hundred years, my lord, I will not be learning it.
And I am not going to sit back and be insulted, or hear you be insulted for doing nothing wrong. Perhaps you can let things slide, but I burn too hot when I hear these children pretending that they know everything. You may chastise me all you wish. I will not back down.”
***
“What does it matter that they insulted either of us?” he replied, dryly. “Do you get upset whenever a child calls another a bully? Nay, you laugh and move on.”
There was a slight pause while he drank his wine.
“Further, if you must insist you yourself are not a child I may as well consider you one. It is childish.” He gave her a reproachful look, annoyed at her behavior.
***
Her eyes blazed, and it was obvious she was holding back an angry response. She slammed her wine glass back on the table and looked away, her cheeks flushing in anger and embarrassment.
“Of course, my lord.”
***
He was tempted to roll his eyes, her fury only furthering his point, but held himself in check. She was annoyed and he understood why.
“There are valid reasons for the way they feel about us, as surely as we have valid reasons for them. If we got upset everytime someone had an opinion we would waste time on nothing, my lady,” he approached her. “And disliking an elf or a man does not mean one must hate the entirety.” He reached up and touched her shoulder, then further still to her delicate ear.
“It was a place for peaceful talks. If nothing can be agreed upon then I will simply reach out to individuals as they come. Our son behaved foolishly, though I know his reasoning, and it must not happen again.”
***
She shivered a little when he touched her ear, despite her anger, and looked over at him, her anger easing a little.
“I am tired of it, my lord. I am tired of being blamed for the discord when they are as much to blame as we are. I am tired of my every move being suspect. I am tired of being hated and treated as if I am a fool. I am tired of children telling me that they know more than me. I am tired of it all, and it makes me angry. Would that I were half Vanya, perhaps my temper would not flare so.”
***
“That is the prerogative of children to think they know more than their parents,” he said easily. “What does it matter if we are hated? There is no rule or law that says we must be loved. Let them. In less than a century they will be gone from our lives and we may move on to new things. I worry more for the individuals who will seek recompense for slights against them. The others have little place in our lives but as social beings.”
He touched her dark hair. “You are perfectly valid in your anger. It is justified, and so also is theirs. That is the wisdom as I see it, and there is no way to adequately resolve it if we deny the reasoning for others’ emotions.”
***
She bit her lip, but saw the wisdom in his words. She was very angry at what had happened, but her husband was wise, and she could not deny the truth in what he spoke.
Sighing, she leaned her head towards the hand that touched her.
“I do not like being disliked, my lord. It is a failing on my part, I know, but I do not like people thinking badly of me. You are wise, and you can see such things in the long term far better than I can. To me, they insult me and those I love, and call me a fool. How can I forgive that?”
***
“By knowing you are not,” he said, kissing her dark hair and curling his arms around her, “That is the wisdom that age brings. That experience brings. Let them think what they will, it has no impact on our lives as they have no ability to impede us. The foolish action is to insist you are no fool. Fools speak for themselves. You are a Queen of the Noldor and that is enough. Ignore them if you will, as they do not offer anything but reproach. But you must try not to fight with them at every turn.”
He smiled faintly and framed her face in his hands, kissing her brow.
“You are stubborn. We are stubborn, and that is both our failing.” And yet who could believe that immortals would change their ways? The longer one lived the harder it was to change one’s ways. Especially when there was no one to contest it for the majority of one’s life.
***
Anairë nestled against him, the tension leaving her shoulders.
“I do not wish to fight with them, my lord. I wish only to get along with them, to make a happy place for our children and ourselves to live. But it seems there is no happiness here, only hatred that comes not even from the Morgoth. Or perhaps his lies, and the Doom of the Noldor reaches out its long hand to us even here.”
She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears.
“Have we not suffered enough?”
***
“Our happiness is not dependent upon them,” he said, and tilted her head up, then kissed her brow. “If His Curse follows us here it is by our own doing. As always it has been, my lady, but do not despair. I cannot and will not order my sons to disengage from half of our population but we must be wiser with our words. We all are at fault in this case, but we will find it within ourselves to forgive past slights. We must learn of each other. I think. These Men are not the same as those who came out of the darkness and took our hands to step into the light.”
He paused. He wasn’t sure how to go about learning of others, when their exchanges dissolved into arguments. How did one trade cultural knowledge when people got insulted so easily?
***
“If only they were,” she said softly, her eyes sad and tired. There had been a time when they had been friends, when Elves had taught Men many things. She had not seen it herself, but she had heard tell of such things from those who had returned from Mandos. They had been happy then, all of them. Elves AND Men. But he was right, such times were gone, and one could not often recaptured what had passed.
“I will try to control my anger,” she agreed, bowing her head a little in acquiescence. “And I am sorry that I brought shame upon you, my lord.”
***
“You did not,” he said, raising her head to look at him again. “You did not. Your opinions are never things to be ashamed of. We may disagree, that is our right, but I will never find it shameful. I find it irritating and annoying, and I wish you would not, but I will never stop you from having one.”
“But do not weep, or feel sad, the world has changed and we must move with it or we will fall behind. We are Noldor, elves of Valinor, and once we were at the height of our power. We may capture the spirit of those days yet. Whether we have Men at our sides to do it or not. That is their choice.”