Loki (hamrammr) wrote in spinningcompass, @ 2013-01-25 19:45:00 |
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It hadn’t been his week, his day or anything. He was stuck again. In so many ways. He was stuck with a life he didn’t want, a condition he was so tired off. The hunger that never went away. But it wasn’t the worst. No, the knowledge of what he could do- what he might do again was unbearable. A monster rested inside of him that came crawling and snarling to the surface whenever he felt weak and exhausted. Whenever he felt hurt and angry. He was stuck with memories and mistakes he couldn’t bear. All the dead people, all his victims that hunted him in his sleep. He had ruined so many lives and now he had done it again. Maryanne felt guilty because of him and Ira would live the same nightmare he was experiencing every single day. He was stuck with a future he didn’t want to face. How could he go on alone? He was scared more than anything. Maybe he should just end it. Maybe Nina was right. But he couldn’t. Ira was there and he had the fucking duty to make sure that he could cope. He was stuck in a form he couldn’t change out of. His mind hid in a tiny body. Wings were folded around him and fur shivered. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t change back. He was too tired, too exhausted and his mind was full of emotions he didn’t want to feel. And now he had hurt his wing and couldn’t even move anymore. A big gaping gash ran through the skin that connected what would usually be his right middle and ring finger. He couldn’t fly anymore and he was too tired to move. He was stuck on a damn stone in the middle of the fucking forest. Fuck life! Fuck the world! And fuck everyone in it! |