Who: Steve and Bucky What: Catching up Where: Rogers & Co. apartment When: Backdated to June 15 (I'm slow. oops.) Low/partial g-doc/closed
Steve quietly stepped in to the apartment he shared with Bucky and all the others. It was early in the morning, barely past 4, and he didn't want to wake anyone. He'd left Peggy still asleep, leaving his pocket watch on his pillow; something he'd started doing to make sure she knew he was just out of the apartment and not gone. He noticed someone moving around in the kitchen and went in that direction, but stopped in the doorway to watch Bucky for a few moments.
He had noticed a little while ago that something was...different about Bucky, but had only recently realized what he was. He wanted to blame it on the fact that the other man still had two flesh and blood arms, but really, he knew that part of it was him too. He was preoccupied, grieving the fact that his kids hadn't come with him and Peggy, splitting his life between the two apartments. But then he'd waited a couple of days too, waited to see if Bucky would say anything himself, but he had to assume that his husband was trying to protect him. Hiding things so he wouldn't cause any more stress and he didn't want to force that extra burden.
"So, when were you going to tell me?" He asked, knowing Bucky well enough to know he didn't need to make himself known beforehand, Bucky already knew he was there.
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Bucky had been in the middle of starting coffee, trying to keep things as normal as possible before he’d… Before everything. It helped that he didn’t shave much, and kept his hair long, before. But it was hard digging up those memories. After everything, after Hydra. But he’d managed it. He’d had too. The kids needed him, and Steve didn’t need to worry about him going batshit.
But he knew he did strange things. More often than not he rubbed the arm he’d lost, that Hydra had replaced. And later Shuri. He flexed his hand. Getting used to the feel of flesh and bone was something. It was very different from mechanics.
Another thing Bucky wasn’t used to was anyone sneaking up on him. He practically jumped out of his skin, and had to fight every other urge of fight or flight, when Steve spoke. It wasn’t sneaking, Steve hadn’t snuck up. He’d been distracted. “Tell you what?” Steve already knew everything he’d done. But there was a long list of things he didn’t tell him.
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"You got new memories too, didn't you?" Steve asked, finally stepping in to the kitchen and feeling a little bad for making Bucky jump.
He went to the cabinet and pulled out two mugs for the coffee Bucky had been working on. He wasn't worried. If Bucky had ended up as the soldier then he wouldn't have stayed, wouldn't have cared for the kids the way he had. "How far did you go?"
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“Farther than you, I figure. You were old. Passed the shield down to Sam.” He ran his fingers, his left hand still felt weird. He shifted it so that it was holding the back of his neck instead. “What gave me away?” Bucky finished filling the filter with his right hand. Shoving the basket into the machine when he was finished. Flipping the switch to start the drip.
He turned and put his back against the kitchen counter. Facing Steve. Giving him a little smile. The damnbedable thing, he didn’t have any of James’ memories. He didn’t see some dark haired chick, and two kids besides his own. That was kind of weird too.
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Steve couldn't help smiling a little. He figured he'd find a way to go back eventually, close out his life there and pass on his name. He'd always felt guilty too, knowing he left Bucky, but he also knew that Bucky could take care of himself. Sam too. They were both capable, good men. He was sure he must have offered the shield to Bucky, but it made sense that it would end up with Sam. As much as the team knew better, the world still knew Bucky as the soldier. Even with his help against Thanos, public trust would be low.
"I'm not even sure." Steve admit, moving closer to Bucky, stepping in to his space, brushing some hair back away from his face, Steve's eyes travelling over it. "Gut feeling maybe. Little things. Your eyes." He listed off things that all contributed to Bucky being just different enough for Steve to catch on.
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“Yeah, that was one thing I couldn’t hide.” Crows feet. The turmoil. Everything that aged a person well past their years. But he closed his eyes shortly after Steve started brushing his hair back. A little smile tugging at his lips. He’d tried to hide his reaction to little touches of affection, but he didn’t know how successful he was with it. He’d missed his husband’s touch. Missed the one thing that they hadn’t been able to show.
Bucky opened his eyes, and he gave Steve a little smile. “I wasn’t…. I didn’t want to add stress about me on top of everything else. I was going to tell you. Probably after Peggy got more settled.”
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"I thought that might be it." Steve told him, no anger in his voice. He understood why Bucky didn't want to say anything, there was a good chance he would have done the same.
He snaked his arms down around Bucky's waist and lent his head on his shoulder with a soft sigh. It was a little awkward, Steve was still just a little bit taller than Bucky, but it was comfortable either way. "You okay?" Steve asked, the question reaching beyond just asking if he was okay with just the new memories but also everything going on here. "Honestly."
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That’s one of the comforts he didn’t forget. What it felt like to actually be held by Steve. His arm’s followed suit, just a little higher to be comfortable. “I’m as okay as I can be. Still kind of making heads or tails of everything. The most difficult thing so far? Getting used to this arm.” He wiggled that flesh and blood left arm.
Bucky let his head rest against his husband’s chest. “How are you? How's Peggy settling in?” He knew not having his kids had to be unsettling. But he still had faith that they would show up eventually.
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He bent his arm to gently poke at the underside of Bucky's bicep, teasing the sensitive skin there. "You miss the mechanics?" He asked, sure Bucky was glad to have his whole body back but also aware that the high-tech arm probably came in handy sometimes too.
"Okay. I think." He sighed softly. "Thinking about the kids... I know they're alright but we've never been away from them, it still feels like…" he trailed off, hugging Bucky just a little bit tighter. "We'll get there."
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“A little. It was stronger. This has taken a little getting used to. I might have to actually come to you to get jars opened up.” Bucky teased, light heartedly. Lifting his head to look over at Steve’s face. If he were honest, he had missed this more. And there were times he was sure it showed. Or he was sure Sam could sense it.
“Yeah, I know.” He trailed his hands up and down his husbands back. He wished he could make it come faster, or do something to encourage the rift to open and bring those kids. “In other news, we have a new roommate.” A slight change of subject, to slide out of the gloomy stuff he couldn’t do much about.
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Steve smiled a little and moved to kiss Bucky. “Maybe I should tighten all of them while I’m here.” he teased. He was glad that Bucky seemed to be coping alright. It had to be a lot to get used to again.
Steve almost melted into the gentle, soothing touch of his husband’s hands on his back. He loved Bucky, always had in one way or another, and would always feel safe and comfortable when they were close like this. It didn’t make everything better, but it did make him feel better for a few minutes. “I saw that. Good guy?” Steve figured he had to be, Dean had talked about his brother often and they both seemed more than decent. He didn’t mind the change of subject, dwelling on those thoughts for too long never did any good.
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Bucky met that kiss with one of his own. Those kisses always did manage to do things to him that he thought unimaginable. His sure he felt lighter, even though it was brief. He chuckled softly. “Yeah, just so I have to come knock on your door, as often as possible.” What made it even more humorous, was he could imagine Peggy opening the door, and the jar.
Feeling Steve relax meant his affection was having the wanted affect. So he kept it up. “Yeah, he doesn’t say much, keeps to himself. But I imagine that will change once he gets used to us.” At least a little. Sam seemed almost as tortured as he was.
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Steve chuckled a little, “It’d be just like back there. I stayed home with the kids while Peggy went to work and all the neighborhood women staying home were always knocking for one reason or another.” He wasn’t naive enough to think their intentions were always innocent, but no one ever outright tried anything with him so he got away with just playing dumb most of the time.
“Mmm, don’t know where he was but didn’t seem great.” Steve heard the coffee maker finishing its cycle and he let Bucky go, if a little reluctantly. They didn’t always get a lot of time alone together anymore. “This is definitely a lot to get used to.” he smirked again, knowing the apartment was chaotic to say the least.
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Bucky raised an eyebrow at that. “How did you manage to keep those women alive? I’m assuming Peggy never caught any of them ogling you.” Because he certainly would be ogling while getting his jar lids loosened.
The sigh came before he could think about holding it back. He’d gone so long without real human contact that he milked every drop he got. He went to the fridge and snagged some cream. He did like a splash of it now. To take some of the bitterness away. And it reminded him of her. And her tea. “Well, hopefully he finds it easier to get used to here, now that he’s free from all that.”
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Steve laughed softly. “None ever tried anything, and it was usually while Peggy was at work anyway. Most of them were married to assholes so I think they were a little jealous just as much as they wanted a view. The two of us just laughed about it all later. Peggy had to deal with the bad side. Some of their husbands liked to call me a fairy and seemed to think Peg would be desperate to jump in bed with anyone who wouldn’t take no for an answer. They usually only made that mistake once though.”
Steve stole one more quick kiss when he heard Bucky’s sigh. He poured the coffee while Bucky got the cream. “Once he believes it’s real at least.” he commented, watching Bucky fix the coffees. He was quiet for a moment then suddenly asked, “Do you want to go on a date?”
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Bucky grinned. He liked the idea of Peggy punching out a guy, making him eat his teeth because he got smart with her. “I take it the ones that made that mistake weren’t too bright.” He could practically picture it.
He grinned because of the stolen kiss, and it was still on his face as he poured the cream into the mugs. “With you? Of course. I… I can’t remember the last one we had.” That was bad. But he was working on it. It felt like it had been so long ago. He knew it happened. He was just foggy on the details.
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“Oh, they were idiots. Though my favorite was the one that got us mixed up.” Steve almost laughed at the memory. “He was new to the neighborhood, heard that one of us worked for the military and one was stay at home, and assumed she was a homemaker and I was the one working at Camp Leigh, thought she’d be some meek little thing.” He picked up one of the cups and leant back against the counter. “Boxed her in at a block party and walked away with a deep limp.” The implication of exactly where Peggy had kicked him was clear. “I still think Doris did that on purpose.” he laughed softly.
“Yeah with me.” he teased a little. He frowned a little when Bucky seemed upset at his memory but shrugged it off for both of them. “It’s been ages, between the kids and...the move and everything else.” They didn’t get much time together, not just the two of them. “We could just...get a babysitter and get coffee, or see if someone could make a meal and we’ll take over an extra apartment for a night.”
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Bucky snickered softly. “Okay so maybe that might not have been something I would have wanted to see. I’m just fine hearing about it though.” His hand self consciously dropped down to his groin. He remembered one sound kick given to him by Natasha rather vividly. Not that he hadn’t deserved it.
He gave him a slight smile. “Some stuff isn’t as vivid as I’d like it to be. But I did learn to cook, after I left… them before T’Challa started hunting me down.” When he had broke himself free of Hydra’s brainwashing. “So if we get a babysitter, I could cook for you.” It hadn’t all been TV dinners. In fact most of his meals had been anything he could get his hands on that could enhance his memory. But there were a few simple meals too.
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Steve laughed softly, sipping his coffee. "It was always amusing to see them dig their own graves. I've gotten much better at playing innocent these days."
"Somehow I was always better at dessert." he smiled. He could cook some, no one was a stay at home husband or parent for too long without at least getting a grasp on a few things, but it was slow going, if he was being honest. "So I'll find us a place, you can do dinner, I'll take care of dessert. We can watch a movie, maybe dance a little..." he mused softly, reaching out to put the hand not holding his coffee at Bucky's hip, just under the hem of his shirt to bring him closer again. "Simple, nice night, just the two of us."