Typically Sam wasn’t one for public outbursts or breakdowns. A lot of the time what troubled him was a direct result of his life as a hunter which was obviously something he didn’t exactly broadcast to the general public. But if his grief reached the point where he couldn’t handle his own headspace anymore then it didn’t really matter to him where he drank or who he drank with - so long as he drank.
Sam smiled ruefully. “Sometimes that’s easier said than done.” Of course he could act just fine when it came to most people, he could make them believe nothing was wrong - see as much as he wanted them to see as John had said, but his brother was a different story. If something was really bothering Sam, especially if it had gone so far as to drive him to drink, then it was a pretty safe bet that Dean was going to notice. He may not be able to work out exactly what was wrong but he’d know if even the slightest thing was off with his little brother, just as Sam would know if something wasn’t right with Dean. He shook his head. “Can’t go it alone, not completely. I’ve always had my brother and we don’t work so well without each other.”
But he empathised, he’d definitely felt how John felt on more than one occasion. “A little too familiar, I know all too well how that goes.” He thought of his mother, his father and of Jess. All dead as a result of their connection to him. He even thought of Gretel and how they’d been worried the scientists would use their feelings for each other against them somehow. Still it hadn’t stopped them. “Sometimes you can’t fight these things no matter how hard you try.” He lost himself in thought for a minute. When he tuned back in his attention was caught by one particular thing John said. “When you say ‘your damnation’ do you.....are you actually damned or is it just something you consider yourself to be?” Sam wondered because he often felt something similar about himself.