Sam sounded too familiar. Almost like himself. John would drink to numb his pain. He'd wallow in self pity but he did so alone. When he went out to drink, it was generally to get a few free drinks. Any company he could find was there to distract him from everything racing through his mind, clawing at him.
"Easy" he replied. "Give it the middle finger, stay a few steps ahead, and if I can't do that, always make them think I am" he said, smirking. "I let people see what I want them to see, that's all" he paused and downed his drink, reaching for his cigarettes and his lighter. Lighting a cigarette, he inhaled deeply, savouring the smell.
"So I walk my path alone. Makes things a lot easier. People who get close to me die. Anyone who wants to be friends with me ends up suffering because of me. Sound familiar? Not like I didn't give them the choice to get out, but they would never listen" he paused. "So I just keep on going. Sticking it to the wankers who would rather see me dead and suffering in the pits of Hell. My enemies see me smiling at them. They hear whatever I have to say and before they know it, I've conned them and they're up shit creek on a burning boat" he grinned. "I won't let my damnation defeat me. I'll find a way to fix things. Not just for me... But for all the lives I've ruined. And I will not let that drag me down" he said, his tones growing more serious.