Bobby frowned at him in confusion, and wanted to rewind time and tone down his reaction a notch or two. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen Sean look quite so uncertain - actually, he looked like Bobby had just slapped him across the face.
"No, I- it's not--" he stuttered, not sure how to fix it again. He sat up properly now, and leaned back against the headboard, trying to figure out how to put his racing thoughts into words.
"I'm sorry," he said first of all, reaching out to take his boyfriend's hand and peck a kiss to his knuckles. He was silent for a moment, thinking about what he actually wanted.
"You know I was dishonourably discharged from the army?" he asked, which had to seem like a ridiculous comment considering they were meant to be talking about marriage. "They forced me to go in the first place, and then they kicked me out again for kissing my boyfriend goodbye," he explained. "What I mean is, how it felt out there tonight, the anxiety and the suppressing and the feeling kind of... wrong? The majority of my years have felt like that. I know, I know I've seen and experienced a different way of life now, and it's wonderful, but it's just not a question I thought anyone would ever be able to ask me. And if they did, I never considered that I might be allowed to say yes," he felt like he'd let too much slip out, and he let himself slide down the bed until he could hide in the pillow for a moment. "I'msorry- screw- thing -up" was about all the was audible from under the pillow.