Steven Grant Barnes (sickbuttsteve) wrote in spinningcompass, @ 2018-04-24 00:50:00 |
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Steve was aware of everything going on around him. He could hear Bucky crying, the doctors talking, his dad praying, all of it. He knew that they were worried for him, angry at him, and hoping everything would be okay. He also knew it when he died. He'd seen his biological mother. He wasn't sure if it was real or just his brain reacting to his heart stopping. He didn't care, though. He'd gotten to see her one more time. He knew he couldn't stay. That he had to go back. The wish would have been for nothing otherwise. When he did go back he was once again aware of what was going on. He wasn't in any pain, but he could hear the machines. He listened to Henry explain the problems. He heard Steve come in, donating his blood to save his life. The new sounds added by the dialysis machine. Everything registered. And now he knew it was time to wake up. He'd been in a bit of a fog for the last two weeks, with everything happening around him, but his mind was starting to clear. It started with his attempts to breathe on his own but the machine he was attached to made it difficult. His heart started to beat just a little bit faster and the readout of his brain activity spiked dramatically. After a few moments he was finally able to open his eyes. Everything was bright and he had to blink a few times to get his sight to straighten out. He stopped fighting the machine, just letting it breathe for him until the tube down his throat could be removed. He squeezed the hand that currently held his as best he could, though he knew it wasn't that strong. ------- Bucky missed the signs at first. He’d been imagining the little signs of Steve waking up and been wrong so often that he tried not to hope too hard. He had Steve’s book in one hand was holding one of Steve’s gently with the other while he read softly. When Steve’s fingers closed around Bucky’s, no matter how lightly, the book was abandoned and Bucky was standing. When he saw Steve’s eyes open he audibly gasped, and tears filled his own eyes. He couldn’t really form words yet, just leaning in to hug him as much as he could with all of the tubes and wires, crying in to Steve’s shoulder for a moment. He was shaking when he stood back up, about to say something, but his eyes landed on the breathing tube instead. “I...I’m gonna.” he all-but sobbed and pressed at the call button, hitting it more than once so they knew it was important. ----- Richie was in the room almost instantly, and took in the scene at a glance. “About time you woke up.” He observed, not sure if he wanted to smile or grouse at the younger man. Steve had scared the hell out of them, but at the same time the wish had done its job even if it had taken a roundabout way of going about it. He looked at the readouts and then back at Steve. “I think we can take that tube out. Don’t try to talk right away, your throat will be sore.” He glanced over at his adopted brother. “I’m gonna need you to step back while I take it out and do a few tests Buck, but then you can come right back to where you were, ok?” ----- Bucky bit at his lower lip. He didn’t want to let go but he knew Steve would feel better with the tube out and the tests needed to be done. He nodded to Richie and looked down to Steve. “Gonna be right here, I’m not going anywhere okay?” He wasn’t entirely sure how aware Steve was but he didn’t want him to worry. He kissed Steve’s forehead once and stepped away from the bed so Richie had room. ----- Richie nodded his thanks and moved into the space Bucky had just vacated. “Ok Steve, I’m going to disconnect the tube from the machine so you’re going to have to start breathing on your own ok? Blink twice if you hear me and understand what I’m saying.” He watched closely and smiled broadly when Steve made two slow deliberate blinks. “That’s great buddy! I’ll go ahead and disconnect it now, and when I’m sure you’re doing ok without it I’ll take the tube out ok?” Another two blinks. Richie disconnected the tube from the breathing machine and switched it off before it could alarm. He kept his eyes on Steve and nodded as his brother-in-law’s chest rose and fell on its own without mechanical intervention. “You’re doing just fine. I’m going to go ahead and get that tube out, it’s probably going to hurt a little bit just so you know ahead of time.” A few moments later the tube was out. --- Steve gagged a bit as the tube came out and coughed shortly after. His throat was hurting enough that he wouldn't have attempted to talk even if he'd been given permission. Instead he just signed for a glass of water, careful of the IV still attached to his hand. After that he just kept looking at Bucky and signing sorry. ------ Bucky shook his head quickly. He grabbed a glass and filled it with the jug of water sitting on one of the tables nearby, adding a straw as he moved to the bed opposite where Richie was. “We’ll talk about it later.” he whispered, leaning in with his lips against Steve’s forehead. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” he added, voice braking a little on the last word. ----- Steve closed his eyes as Bucky kissed his forehead. It sent a little tingle through him. He shifted in the bed just enough to be able to drink the water without spilling it. That was definitely helping his throat. Another long drink and then he looked at Richie. What tests need to be done? ---- “Right now? None.” Richie shook his head. “I’m not letting you out of that bed until tomorrow. After that, Doctor Morgan and I will have several tests we’ll want to run. Once those are done and we’re sure it’s safe, we might let you go home. In the meantime, get some rest, real rest and not ‘scaring your family half to death being comatose’ rest.” He figured Steve had earned a little rebuke, and if Bucky wasn’t going to do tough love then he would. Besides, it was fairly mild compared to what he really wanted to say. That could wait though. ---- Steve nodded. Okay. Thank you. He smiled a little sheepishly. After Richie left the room, Steve looked at Bucky. Are you angry? It was completely understandable. He hadn't realized this would happen because of the wish. ----- Bucky sighed, slumping back in to the chair next to the bed but reaching out for Steve’s hand again, looking down at it for a few moments. “I haven’t decided yet.” When he finally looked back at Steve there were tears in his eyes again, “Why?” ----- Steve but his lip. He didn't really have a good answer. He hated to let go of Bucky's hand but it was necessary, just long enough to answer the question. I was scared. I didn't know this would happen. ----- “We had time.” Bucky wiped at his face. “Or you could have talked to me first.” He was shaking a little, his emotions starting to overwhelm him now that he wasn’t so worried about Steve. “I thought I’d lost you already.” ----- I'm sorry. Isabel had warned him that it was messy magic. She'd tried to stop him but he just wouldn't listen. I wasn't thinking. It was stupid. I was selfish. ----- Bucky knew he probably shouldn't, but he needed to hold Steve, so he let down the rail of the bed and, as carefully as he could, climbed in next to the smaller man. Once he was sure he wasn't pulling or blocking any of the tubes and wires he wrapped himself around him. Part of him was still scared, they didn't know what this was going to do to him, and just wanted to hold on while he could. Part of him wanted to comfort Steve too. He knew that for him to do something like this he had to have been terrified. “I missed you.” He whispered. ----- Steve shifted over a little as Bucky started to get on the bed. He wanted to be held just as much as Bucky wanted to hold him. He snuggled into Bucky as much as he could and wrapped an arm around him, careful not to pull the IV out. “Missed you, too.” His voice was a hoarse croak and it'd hurt to say it but he didn't care right then. “Love you.” He closed his eyes and held Bucky a little tighter. ----- “I love you too.” Bucky wanted to tell Steve not to talk but he kind of needed it just then, so he let him. He kissed Steve gently and held him as close as they could manage. “Just...talk to me. If something like this ever happens again. Please.” ----- Steven nodded. “Promise.” Though he fully intended to never make another intentional wish as long as he lived. He hoped that that amount of t in me was extended beyond 13 more years, though. He was definitely going to trust the doctors from now on. --- “Good.” Bucky snuggled himself in to Steve's hair and just held him for a while. “How do you feel?” He asked softly a little while later. ----- Steve had almost fallen asleep in Bucky's arms as they lay there. It was a very nice feeling. “Little sore.” He answered honestly. It was like all of his muscles worked too hard all at the same time. ---- “They had to shock you.” He murmured, “And give compression. None of your ribs broke but there's some pretty impressive bruising.” If Bucky knew anything about Steve’s dad, he was sure that he felt bad for that but Bucky would only ever be thankful, it probably saved his life. ----- “I’m sorry.” He rubbed Bucky’s back slowly. He hated that any of them had to go through that. He stayed quiet for a long time, just holding Bucky close. “I saw my mom.” He whispered after a bit. ----- Bucky held him close and kissed his forehead lightly, “I'm just glad it worked.” He smiled a little, “Still as beautiful as ever?” He asked, not really ready to deal with how close that meant Steve had really been to dying. Bucky ----- Steve nodded a bit. “Said she’s been watching me.” He cleared his throat, making a face. He hated how rough his voice sounded, but it would get better. ---- “I'll have to thank her.” Bucky reached behind him for the glass of water again, holding it up for Steve. “You had a whole lot of people praying for you.” ----- Steve shifted just enough to be able to take a drink before settling back against Bucky’s chest. He sighed softly, closing his eyes. “Heard some of it.” He’d known when different people were in the room with him. All of that worry because of something he’d done to himself. He cleared his throat again. “Gotta tell mom and dad I’m awake.” He wasn’t looking forward to the look he knew his dad was going to give him. Even if it didn’t come for a few days. --- “I'm sure Richie already has.” Bucky told him, rubbing at his back gently once he'd set the water down. “So...could you hear everything?” He asked a few moments later. ----- Steve nodded again. “Everything in the room.” He sighed softly. He held Bucky as tight as he could, closing his eyes again. “I'm sorry.” ----- “I know.” Bucky murmured, hugging him a little bit tighter for a minute too. “Just focus on getting better okay? Don't worry so much. Everyone still loves you, so much. “ he reassured, kissing Steve's hair gently. ----- “Richie's gonna yell at me.” He could tell by the doctor's body language. Of course he felt like he deserved it but he kept that to himself, even though he was pretty sure Bucky already knew. ----- |