"So am I," Maria patted the couch next to her in invitation. "I don't want you to think I don't love you or that I'm not proud that you've evidently decided to devote yourself to helping others, I..." she trailed off looking for the right words to say that wouldn't lead to another explosion. "I'm just disturbed that it sounds like you're resigned to having that thing on your chest rather than continuing to explore other options, even ones that might not pay off for a long time."