Who: Grey and Malc Where: Their apartment What: Grey finds some pills, massive argument ensues. When: Monday mid afternoon Rating: High, for language and god knows what else with them. Open: Nope Status: Closed/Ongoing A new year, a new start, that was the plan. Grey had already accepted they were properly stuck here and she was fine with that, because whatever happened she had Malcolm and that fact really did make everything more bearable. It was time to make the flat a bit more personal, and a bit tidier come to think of it. She’d had better things to be doing lately than tidying up, and it wasn’t as if the place was a mess, but with the three of them there now it was certainly looking well lived in. Plus of course she desperately needed something to take her mind off the idiotic, judgemental people on the island who had no fuck clue what they were talking about, before she actually went to find them and did something she’d get in a hell of a lot of trouble for.
She cleared out what had been Lex’s room, the room she hadn’t been in since he’d disappeared because it was just too painful, but the last thing she needed was to explain exactly why there was a bedroom full of another persons things, not that she thought Malc would ask, because Malc would know but Sam would, and really she didn’t have an explanation to give. She was truly happy with Malcolm, she just really didn’t want to pick at the wounds that was her relationship with Lex, the relationship she’d got over far, far too quickly. She removed all his old clothes and half the contents of the sex shop (mostly unused) with the kind of detachment she imagined an undertaker or something similar had to have just to get through the day. Everything was bagged up without really seeing what it was. It all had to go after all, so what difference did it make?
With all that out of the way she moved through the rest of the flat (apart from Sam’s room, that was her business), making notes as she went of what to change, of what could be changed. It wasn’t as if she could easily replace the furniture, after all, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. She quite liked the sofa for a start, a lot of very good things had happened on that sofa, plus it was really comfortable even when you weren’t shagging on it.
She wondered if she should move the last of Malcolm’s things into their room, it wasn’t something they’d talked about - it being their room, but the majority of his things were in there now, and he slept there every night, in their bed. It made her dizzy if she thought about it properly - how quickly this had all happened, how quickly he’d become the centre of her life here, not even the centre really, he’d sort of become her life, because there really weren’t a lot of people she had much in common with, and of the few friends she did have one was in vampire rehab and the other didn’t seem to be talking to her. God it was pathetic really, she wished Mandy had been picked up, Mandy got her. Mandy had been great, open minded, a bit odd, not prone to asking difficult questions, and she had a strange ability to make her feel like less of the fucking mess. Best not to think about that or she’d just want to start drinking again.
So Malcolm’s room, maybe they could turn it into a study, or something? Because she really couldn’t imagine anyone but Sam would be able to deal with living with them, they weren’t the most easy to get along with people after all, and that suited her just fine. She didn’t want anyone else invading their territory.
She moved the last of his clothes into their room, just about everything else had already made the trip. About to leave suddenly remembered she hadn’t checked the drawers, not that she supposed there’d be anything in them, but it seemed like a good idea to check.
And there they were, packet after packet of pills, and Grey tried not to overreact, not to think the worse, but it was so difficult. Why would he have a bunch of pills hidden in a drawer if there wasn’t something wrong with him?
Grey sat on the bed, opening the packets and pulling out the leaflet inside with shaking hands, trying to find out what was going on. She was pretty sure she shouldn’t be doing this, like it was an invasion of privacy, but it wasn’t like she’d been looking for them and if she hadn’t been so bloody worried about him she’d have just put them back. Only one of lots of pills was familiar to her, the others could’ve been for anything. What if there was actually something wrong with him? Surely he’d have mentioned it, unless he was in fact stupid enough to still think anything could change the way she felt about him.
The more she read on the leaflet for the Citalopram the worse she felt - treatment for major depression? She wasn’t stupid enough to think this had anything to do with her, or their relationship. She knew it didn’t work like that, she knew everything could be seemingly okay in your life and you could still be depressed and it wasn’t like everything was okay. They were living on a sadistic island with no chance of ever seeing their families again, surrounded by some really fucking horrible people, who wouldn’t be depressed in that situation? And she remembered what he’d said, about the breakdown. It wasn’t something she’d really asked about since because it didn’t matter to her and because there was so much they’d had to talk about and then they’d been happy and she hadn’t wanted to bring it up. But how had she not noticed anything? She thought he was happy, he seemed happy. New Year had been amazing, the two of them, they way he’d looked at her, that grin on his face. It had really felt like everything was going to be okay, like nothing else in the world mattered, but maybe that was the pills, but before that…how had she not noticed anything? He really was amazingly good at hiding things. She’d thought they were past this now though, keeping things from each other. She’d thought they were trying this whole talking like adults thing, it wasn’t easy but they were managing, and it was bringing them closer together. Or so she thought.
Grey closed her eyes and tried to push away too many feelings - guilt, anxiety, frustration and anger. How was he this stupid? Why didn’t he trust her? Once again the urge to shake him reared up. She really wasn’t used to getting this worked up over another person, things with Lex had always been so calm, somewhat ironically given he was a werewolf, but it was true. Malcolm though, he made her want to scream, he brought out this passionate side she’d almost forgotten about until he’d come along. Only considering the tears prickling in her eyes that didn’t feel like such a good thing at the moment. She had a very strict no crying policy, and she had the horrible feeling that if she broke it now she might not be able to stop.
She sent Malcolm a text Come back to the flat No please, no x, nothing. She wasn’t thinking straight, she felt sick with worry, but there was something else too. Her mantra to stay calm wasn’t working, she was still shaking, her heart pounding in her ears. She needed a drink, she needed to get out of here, she needed someone else she could talk to. She needed time and space to not just end up screaming at him, but it was too late for all of that. Everything apart from the drink that was.