Ernest knew that she was right. Hell, he'd had a terrible childhood with a twisted mother and a father who belted him for disobeying her. He didn't doubt that it had something of a lasting effect, but he'd never used it as an excuse. Still, it was very difficult not to blame himself. Not raising assholes had been his main objective.
"Most of them," he responded with a bit of a cheeky grin as she wiggled about in his lap. There were some reactions that felt completely out of control when Abi was involved, and he wouldn't have had it any other way. He scrunched up his nose, oddly not wanting to say it. Perhaps because it let it go, it was admitting that his sons behaviour was out of his control now. It wasn't like he could ground him for being a disrespectful little shit. He too often thought of him as that headstrong teenager he'd left behind. "Yeah. Yeah. I know," he nodded, although it wasn't exactly what she'd asked of him.
He did glance at the bottle, feeling a pull towards it that he really didn't like about himself. It was like a painkiller. Something to silence his stupid head. Anaesthetic. But he did have to give himself a little credit. If he'd really had no self control at all, he could have easily grabbed it back from her by now. He could have pushed her aside, he could have snatched it back, he could have been an absolute asshole and demanded she give it to him, he could have pushed her away and gone to the pub and drank and drank until he couldn't see. But he didn't. He hadn't even asked for it with any words, only slightly pleading eyes.
He sighed, flopping back slightly and letting his hands run lazily down her thighs once more. The anger was subsiding, but he did just feel deflated. Maybe it had been too much to ask of him.
"Oh, I know. I know it wasn't me. I hate to think that any version of me could be that bad to my own kid, but..." he shrugged, hating that there was some doubt in his mind. "Honestly, I'm curious how much of it is the whole truth, and what's slightly skewed as some sort of weird guilt trip," he told her, and then cringed at himself slightly. "I know that's a shitty thing to say."