"I'm not asking for a quick fix. I'm asking... for a foundation. I can't live in limbo forever. I know I've hurt you. If I'd had a choice... I wouldn't have done it." He'd hurt himself as much as he'd hurt them. "I just need a direction." If there was any hope to get past... anything. "And I'm not talking about running. I'm talking about... Not being here all the time, so you don't have to look at me everyday, and remember..." His eyes lit on Steve for a minute. Leaving would hurt, more than anything. But if it gave them time to heal... Then he'd do it.
Bucky set his hands on the foot of the bed. "I just know, as unfair it is to you two... I can't live like this. I'm up from a cigarette or two a day, to a full pack. And that," he directed his hand toward the bathroom, "Happens a lot."