Bucky settled his hand up on the mattress, close to her legs, but... not quite touching her, just in case. He didn't want to do anything that would force her to pull back. He couldn't take that sort of rejection. Not right then.
"Okay. I... I've tried to stop. It's just, when things get stressful, I need the smokes. I was down to one or two a day. But... but.." This thing happened. He'd fucked Steven.
Bucky sat up a little more alert as she explained things. He'd known things were off, had done as much as he could with baths and trying to get to Luke before she did... But he also knew a lot of the babies that had been at the orphanage had been there from Mothers that had suffered from the baby blues. He reached to stroke just his finger against her leg. "I wish I could explain why it happened. I wish I understood it enough that I could. But it wasn't because I didn't love you. Or because you weren't enough. You are. You fill my heart with so much love, that sometimes I forget what it was like out in the cold." Without anybody. "It was... like I couldn't stop myself. Like I was some starved animal..." He trailed off when he realized that was a very bad analogy, even if it was the most fitting thing he could come up with. "I had no control. Worse than with the cigarettes."