Klaus
Wont be hard in Tia's case, since that's all she eats.
I think its clear that despite the wording of the message that Vanya is coming from a place... Of wanting to be a part of yours and the kids lives, and wanting to make them as happy during the holidays as we both do too.
But he wording could have been better, and he implication is unsettling. Your feelings are valid though Klaus, sensitivity chip or not.
This is your family, and so its hard for me to sort out meanings and tones when I dont know them well. I would like to tell Vanya that her implication is insulting, but I'll let you tell me how to navigate this situation, since you know better.