InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm on to you"

Vanya Hargreeves is (aloneinacrowd) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2019-12-22 02:13:00

Entry tags:

active: five hargreeves, active: vanya hargreeves

[Hargreeveses]

So, Klaus, were you planning on mentioning to the rest of us that you have children in your care, or were we supposed to just ignore them when we came around to exchange gifts and leave them feeling as awkward and neglected ~~as I always did~~?

I need sizes and interests and I'm not interested in excuses.

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Vanya | Ben

undeadhorror
2019-12-22 07:02 pm UTC (link)

Klaus is stubborn and your post probably put him on three defensive. He didn't tell me about the kids either. Like, I just showed up at their apartment after school one day and they were all at the table having a snack, you know. To be honest, I'm not even sure how they wound up in their care, but it seems to work for all of them.

Van, you're not a burden and we are a family... We are just a bit clumsy at being one sometimes.

I know your upset, but that seems a bit extreme. Klaus has never made me feel like I need to kill myself for the betterment of my family. Klaus never locked you away or made everyone cut contact with you. He is feelings too, and I get your upset, but he's no where close to dad level.

Klaus has always been one to do the opposite of anyone's demands and this is no different.

Come shopping with me today and we'll find some nice things for Tia and Tony.

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Vanya | Ben

aloneinacrowd
2019-12-22 09:52 pm UTC (link)

And if Five hadn't said something to me yesterday and pointed me to the little girl's post, I'd have had no idea that he had children living with him. So what would have happened on Christmas day, Ben? We stop by to at least exchange gifts (because based on the whole lot of no communication at all, I have a hard time believing that Klaus would make the effort to come to us) and there's two kids there with nothing to open. I'm not going to ever minimize anyone else's experience during our childhood, because Dad did a number on all of us, but none of the rest of you have any idea what it's like to be the only one who is left off to the side with nothing while everyone around you gets praise (or at least attention) and gifts. I do. I refuse to be the cause of any child feeling like they're not good enough or special enough or like they've been left out on purpose.

This thing that Klaus has done? Completely ignoring me in favor of ~~a hissy fit~~ this weird dramatic gesture that just happens to partially address what I asked him directly for? That makes me feel like Klaus views me as being not worthy of acknowledging. And honestly, I don't give a damn if he was on the defensive. He says "We're a family" but he doesn't back those words up with actions. It's been weeks since I heard or saw him and he lives in the same building. He hasn't said a thing to me other than to tell me that my feelings aren't valid because they don't line up with his recollection of my life since we were all stuck as teens. You can make excuses for him if you want to, you can give him passes for his selfish habits, but I'm not going to anymore. It took years of therapy to get to a place where I'm not constantly cowering and him treating me this way... I feel like a kid again. Like I have apologize for existing. Like I am a burden. Insisting that I'm not because you don't view me as one doesn't change what he's done.

Maybe a little later or tomorrow. I'm not feeling up to it right now.

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	Vanya \| Ben undeadhorror 2019-12-23 03:48 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry, Van. I don't know what to say, or how to help. I just want to keep us all together-- I wanted us all to at least spend a little bit of christmas together. Like we didn't really get to before. I love you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Vanya \| Ben aloneinacrowd 2019-12-23 05:09 am UTC (link)
	I wanted that too- for us to be a family for Christmas at least once. ~~Seems like we've been replaced, though~~ No matter what, no matter how any of the others feel about me... You're my brother, Ben. And you always will be. I love you too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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