InsaneJournal

Alex Manes & Michael Guerin

What: Talking
Where: Apt 4-C
When: Saturday
Warnings: Likely angst and such
Status: Closed, Incomplete

It wasn't that Michael forgot he sent that voice message to Alex, but he had pushed it out of his mind. If he'd thought about it, he would have tried to recall it, delete it, pretend it never existed. But the fact was, he'd thought he was going to die, and he didn't want to die without telling Alex how he felt. But then he hadn't died, he'd talked to Jacen and he'd gotten some kind of mental boost that gave him a resurgence, and he'd found Liz and Max inside that damn maze, and he'd lived another day. It didn't negate what he'd said to Alex, but it also didn't negate the fact his relationship with Alex was an absolute train wreck.

The last time he'd seen Alex before he'd come to Goodland, he'd essentially blown him off. Not intentionally, though given half a chance he probably would have done it intentionally, but he really couldn't stay and talk right then. And then, when he could have and should have gone back to see Alex, he'd sauntered into The Wild Pony instead. He'd avoided Alex when Alex arrived in Goodland, and then the damn corn maze kept him from having to see the man. There were no more excuses, though, and Michael realised he owed Alex a face to face after that voice mail.

It was going to go one of two ways, and both possible outcomes terrified Michael. He loved Alex, that was irrefutable. But he hated himself, so how could he give Alex what he deserved? He couldn't. And that killed him inside, because Alex deserved so much more than Michael felt he could give, and it wasn't fair.

Michael drew a breath, his mangled left hand shoved in his pocket, and knocked on the door to 4-C with his good hand. It took everything in him to stay right there, to wait for Alex to open the door. But as much as he wanted to cut tail and run, he also wanted to throw himself against Alex and kiss the hell out of him the moment that door opened.