InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You tend to mumble a lot."

Valkyrie is an (angry_queen) wrote in somerealityrpg,
@ 2020-08-18 22:54:00

Entry tags:

active: thor odinson, active: valkyrie

Who: Valkyrie and Thor
What: Someone notices Val's been Extra Grumpy.
Where: the edges of camp
When: Early morning
Warnings: talk of traumatic pasts, etc. neither are fluffy kittens.
Status: in progress
Cut Song: Beauty in your Brokenness

The Valkyrie had spent the last day in a M O O D. She had meany her words to Steve - she did believe he might have been right that this place was both of their chances to move on and lay the dead to rest. But she also wasn't sure. And while the words had been right, the sentiment correct, it was getting past all the feelings that was the hard part and she was struggling with that piece. The woman was not used to facing down things that made her feel anything more than anger. She was a punch first, deal with the feelings later girl.

But she'd been on Sakaar for millennia. Hadn't that been penance enough for surviving what killed everyone she'd ever been close to? She wasn't sure -it should be. She'd suffered for centuries upon centuries. She'd piled all those thoughts ontop of the ones she already had bouncing in her head.

She was jealous. Oh, she knew Thor thought of her like family, but it didn't take the place of the fact she had no family. She had no one, no family left. None would be alive even if she remembered who they were. She had too many blank spots in her memory to rely on that for anything useful. She was happy for Thor - he had Torunn (who she loved dearly), Frigga (who she was trying to get on her good side), and now Loki (who, well, she had a soft spot for too). He deserved them all and deserved to be happy since she knew he lost both his mother and brother back home.

But she couldn't keep the twinge of jealousy out too. She was used to being alone, but since New Asgard she'd had people. Their people, to lean on. To have around her and she loved them all dearly. here? she had Bruce, whom she treasured, and Thor and co were there but she still felt... lonely. Not that she'd tell Thor that, or anyone else for that matter.

Which is why after her talk with Steve she was looking extra surly. And after trying to spend the day around everyone, she headed towards the treeline towards where she'd found herself a nice little niche away from camp and everyone. In her mood she didn't see Thor as she stalked past him and she didn't notice when he'd followed her either. Her hair was loose, and the tight curls were getting longer by the day, now falling nearly to the curve of her ribs, and she didn't wear it out of braids very often. Today she hadn't had the energy. She moved quickly for a tiny thing, and by the time he'd find her, she was already taking a whetstone to one of her knives.

Her eyes, dark and stormy, looked up at him as he approached. She smiled at him but the tension was visible in the corner of her eyes and the way her shoulders were set. "Thor - fancy meeting you out here."

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

angry_queen
2020-08-19 05:00 pm UTC (link)

She let the banter trail off, her mind firmly settled elsewhere now, and she was cornered. She didn't really know how to react to any of this. She was flailing, mentally, in uncharted waters and damn him for being such a comforting soul when she just wanted to be grumpy and sit with everything until she buried it back under a ton of armor.

But he'd stripped that away and thrown it to the side before she could process what was going on. And she couldn't find any way to be mad about it either. She couldn't even find in her to push him away and stalk off - because deep down she really needed this. If she couldn't lean on Thor, who could she lean on? She had to learn sometime that it was okay not to be all fire and feisty anger. "No one's called Brunhilda in eons."

She wanted to throw it back at him - she was no hero - she'd abandoned Asgard for centuries, millennia even! - but she'd come back when she was really needed and that was far more important than a few missing years. She finally caved after a few moments of not saying anything or moving, and she wrapped her arms back around him, her hold strong as she tried not to let anything else go sideways on her. She didn't hug much, or often, but when she did it was almost bone-crushing.

He didn't understand but... at the same time he did and she made a half-strangled sound that might have, to any other ears, been nearly a sob. She'd held everything in for so long, all these years, that it was kind of like a dam bursting. "Thor - I."

She paused as she tried to sort herself out. She'd been thrown away, sent on a mission she was sure Odin knew she wouldn't come back from - which is why in some regards she understood Loki better than he thought she did - and been burned by the loss of her own self. But Thor was sitting here offering her something she hadn't really had since then.

"Aye, okay I can try," she said finally, suddenly feeling very small. "I guess you can call me Hilde but only you," she said with a faint snort, but she really was trying to cover up the feeling she might just cry. "I hate feeling vulnerable," she added. "I am so lonely sometimes." she finished in barely a whisper.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

stillworthy
2020-08-19 07:31 pm UTC (link)

Thor was almost surprised when Valkyrie hugged him back. He gave his love freely to whomever needed it, but he never expected it back in return from certain people (those people being his siblings and Valkyrie, if he was being honest). “Maybe we should be doing so more often.” And in his head, he was already making a note to use her name, her honest real name more often.

When she sobbed, he squeezed her tighter, rocking slightly. He wasn’t sure how to comfort the woman who barely sought comfort, but he was going to do his best. He rested his chin on the top of her head, taking a long breath. “Hilde, Hilde, Hilde.” He said with a soft, teasing tone.

Thor gently rubbed her back, hearing the tone of tears in her voice. “You can be vulnerable, and I will be strong for the two of us right now. I will protect you in your vulnerable state, just as you would protect me.”

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

angry_queen
2020-08-19 07:41 pm UTC (link)

She didn't break often. She could count the number of times on one hand and have fingers left over but oh she was tired. But it also wasn't going to last long. She might break but she put herself together fast.

When he teased, he got a finger jabbed into his ribs for his trouble. And a half snarl from her lips - she only tolerated so much nonsense in one afternoon. She didn't like being vulnerable or open. It felt too raw.

So even as he tried to figure out how to comfort her she was building the walls back up. Her grip loosened slightly, and she sniffed a couple times. "I would, that's true. But if you tell anyone you heard me even start to cry I'll punch you into next week." She was still hurting.

It took more than words to heal some aches.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -