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Tweak says, "David Hasselhoff can FLY!"

Valkyrie is an (angry_queen) wrote in somerealityrpg,
@ 2020-08-18 22:54:00

Entry tags:

active: thor odinson, active: valkyrie

Who: Valkyrie and Thor
What: Someone notices Val's been Extra Grumpy.
Where: the edges of camp
When: Early morning
Warnings: talk of traumatic pasts, etc. neither are fluffy kittens.
Status: in progress
Cut Song: Beauty in your Brokenness

The Valkyrie had spent the last day in a M O O D. She had meany her words to Steve - she did believe he might have been right that this place was both of their chances to move on and lay the dead to rest. But she also wasn't sure. And while the words had been right, the sentiment correct, it was getting past all the feelings that was the hard part and she was struggling with that piece. The woman was not used to facing down things that made her feel anything more than anger. She was a punch first, deal with the feelings later girl.

But she'd been on Sakaar for millennia. Hadn't that been penance enough for surviving what killed everyone she'd ever been close to? She wasn't sure -it should be. She'd suffered for centuries upon centuries. She'd piled all those thoughts ontop of the ones she already had bouncing in her head.

She was jealous. Oh, she knew Thor thought of her like family, but it didn't take the place of the fact she had no family. She had no one, no family left. None would be alive even if she remembered who they were. She had too many blank spots in her memory to rely on that for anything useful. She was happy for Thor - he had Torunn (who she loved dearly), Frigga (who she was trying to get on her good side), and now Loki (who, well, she had a soft spot for too). He deserved them all and deserved to be happy since she knew he lost both his mother and brother back home.

But she couldn't keep the twinge of jealousy out too. She was used to being alone, but since New Asgard she'd had people. Their people, to lean on. To have around her and she loved them all dearly. here? she had Bruce, whom she treasured, and Thor and co were there but she still felt... lonely. Not that she'd tell Thor that, or anyone else for that matter.

Which is why after her talk with Steve she was looking extra surly. And after trying to spend the day around everyone, she headed towards the treeline towards where she'd found herself a nice little niche away from camp and everyone. In her mood she didn't see Thor as she stalked past him and she didn't notice when he'd followed her either. Her hair was loose, and the tight curls were getting longer by the day, now falling nearly to the curve of her ribs, and she didn't wear it out of braids very often. Today she hadn't had the energy. She moved quickly for a tiny thing, and by the time he'd find her, she was already taking a whetstone to one of her knives.

Her eyes, dark and stormy, looked up at him as he approached. She smiled at him but the tension was visible in the corner of her eyes and the way her shoulders were set. "Thor - fancy meeting you out here."

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stillworthy
2020-08-19 01:25 pm UTC (link)

Thor had decided to allow Loki a few days of space to explore his newfound situation, but he was keeping an eye on him. Thor did his best to keep track of all of his people, even if sometimes he lost track. That was why it had taken a couple of days of him to notice Valkyrie’s mood, but when he did, he was more than happy to check in on her. She was one of his closest allies.

Thor did not back away at Valkyrie’s harsh looks, he was used to him, and they wouldn’t have pushed him away either way. Instead, he strode over to her, and settled himself right next to her, his leg pressing against hers. He didn’t speak at all until she spoke to him.

“My Queen seemed like she needed some companionship.” He smirked at her playfully, hoping to ease some of the tension away from her.

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angry_queen
2020-08-19 01:41 pm UTC (link)

Sometimes she forgot she couldn't send everyone scattering with a look. Thor was more or less immune to them. She couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not, though she was leaning towards the fact it was a good thing.

If she was in a fouler mood she'd have shoved his leg away but she nudged it just a little instead. It was a light nudge but still a nudge.

That earned him a little smirk, a touch of one, while she wondered if she'd ever get used to being addressed as Queen. "Was it the surly scowl that said 'She needs company'?" A huff of a breath, "I am happy to see you happier." Deflection!

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stillworthy
2020-08-19 01:52 pm UTC (link)

Oh, he felt Valkyrie’s nudge, but his leg was just a physical reminder that he was there for her, and he was not going to move it so easily. If she continued to put up a fight, he would respect her wishes, but he wanted to be a source of comfort for her.

“Something like that, it was only slightly more scowly than normal.” Thor said with a deep laugh. He looked up at the sky, at the beams of light coming through the trees. He knew that Valkyrie didn’t need him looking at her when he knew it was going to be difficult to get her to talk anyway.

“I am happier, it’s hard not to be, seeing him again after so many years. Knowing he is alive and healthy in this moment.” He confirmed, “I only wish that I could say the same for you, Valkyrie. What is troubling you, friend?”

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angry_queen
2020-08-19 02:06 pm UTC (link)

It had been friendly, she promised. She put no effort into it and was kind of thankful for his being there, even if admitting it was very hard for her.

"Only slightly? I guess I'll have to try hard to look more surly." She said though there was a hint of amusement in her voice. She was grateful he didn't look at her, saying anything was hard enough.

"It is nice to see him whole and well, that is for sure. Losing any of us is hard, he was extremely hard." She did give that up, she had grown close to both of them. Then she looked over at him, then down at her knife.

"Oh. Well. Emotions I haven't felt in a very, very long time."

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stillworthy
2020-08-19 03:04 pm UTC (link)

Thor nodded solemnly, “Yes, only slightly. I barely felt that my life was threatened at all.” He teased. Things were easier if he could get her to talk during their light hearted banter. He allowed himself to relax to encourage her to do the same. He and Valkyrie were similar, they relied on themselves, but wanted to be the problem solver for others. It was the way of Rulers, he assumed.

“That it is.” He agreed. He would do everything in his power to see to it that he brother was given every chance for him to succeed, to be the man that Thor was always certain he could be.

“Speak of them,” He advised, “Once you speak of them, I find, they pass. They do not hold the power over you anymore."

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angry_queen
2020-08-19 03:13 pm UTC (link)

She'd relied on herself, alone, for so long, leaning on anyone else was hard. She also wanted to solve everyone's problems while hiding her own under layers of armor. No one needed to take care of her, see? She'd never thought of herself as a good choice for a ruler - she'd served the rulers - but the traits that kept her alive all these years were good ones for a ruler to have. She tried her heart out for her people.

"I will have to try harder. Clearly I am going soft if you did not feel your life was in danger." she rolled her eyes at him, playfully. It was easy to tease information out of her when she was bantering. She could make it sound so much less serious if she wasn't taking anything else serious.

The knife scraped against the stone as she mulled over his words for a moment. Then it stilled, as did she, she could go as still as a rock when she had a mind to it. Or when she was broaching something serious. She did not fidget, or twitch, she just stopped moving. Her voice was quiet, softer than anything he'd ever heard out of her before, and it almost sounded like it cost her a lot to admit to him of all people.

"I am jealous. And feeling a twinge of aching sadness."

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stillworthy
2020-08-19 03:37 pm UTC (link)

“Honestly, It might be the lack of paralyzing technology.” Thor said with a simple roll of his shoulders, subconsciously rubbing his neck. He had to admit that that tool had been something exceptionally powerful if it had taken not only him down, but his trickster brother as well. He couldn’t resist teasing her about their time on Sakaar.

“Jealous?” Thor couldn’t help but scoff, only for a second. His tone and her body told him everything that he needed to know about that situation. Instead, he draped an arm over her shoulder, casually, but still maintained focus on the woods in front of him, watching as a squirrel skittered around a tree branch for a second.

“You are a Valkyrie, A warrior goddess, a Queen of a people. There is not one person here for whom you should be jealous.” He told her firmly, and he fully believed it. There was not one person that Thor could think of that was any better than his close friend. “What makes you sad?”

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angry_queen
2020-08-19 03:49 pm UTC (link)

"I don't need that to take you down and you know it." she scoffed at him like he was crazy, but she had been grateful for the tech at the time. It had been extremely helpful and helped her save her own ass a few times. Valkyrie was good, but she had gone toe to toe with a few things that could even flatten her.

"Jealous." she said flatly, then stared down as he threw his arm around her and she sighed, one of those heavy tired sighs. But she didn't shove his arm off, just leaned a tiny bit into it. He was her closest friend, but even still she wanted to bury everything back down and not let him in. Her teeth clenched for a moment as she fought that urge. Thor was just too earnest to not trust him with what she was thinking.

Damn it.

"The only Valkyrie." she tacked on with a hint of a frown. "Is there not? I do not have everything, Thor." she said with a slightly bitter tone. Her anger was not directed at him, nor was her bitterness. Then she tossed both the stone and the knife down at their feet so she could run her hand over her face. "Thor - I adore you, you know this. So please understand when I tell you this it is not your fault and not something you can fix." she said first.

"You want to know who I am jealous of? You. Your mother. Your brother. Your daughter." the words tumbled out, her voice still hushed despite the speed in which the words came out, "You have family - and no before you say it being considered family isn't exactly the same - I have no family, Thor. I don't even know who my family was. And I am sad because I can't remember them. I have no memory of them - and I can only remember my Valkior sisters, who are all long dead. While I still endure." If she was the crying type, she'd probably crying, but she wasn't.

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stillworthy
2020-08-19 04:39 pm UTC (link)

“You can,” Thor smirked, “because I let you.” It was familiar banter between the two of them, a constant argument of who was stronger, who would defeat who-- though they both knew that neither one of them would ever do such a thing. As Valkyrie explained her feelings, Thor’s arm flexed tighter around her, in a reassuring movement.

“You are not just the only Valkyrie.” Thor told her gently, “You are Brunhilda, Hero of Asgard, Queen of New Asgard. You are my dearest companion, and no one I trust my entire kingdom too more.” He sighed. He wished he could help her, to give her her memories back. She had done so much for him, and she had been burned by his family. He owed it to her.

Softly, he shifted towards her, both arms wrapped tightly around her. He didn’t know how else to help her other than to show his support. He held her tightly as he spoke. “Family is more than blood, Valkyrie.” He told her gently, “You may not want to hear it, and if I could give you your memories, I would in a heartbeat. Until then, let us be your family. Find family where you are. Create your own family, just like you did with your sister Valkyries.”

“It would be my honor to be your family, Hilde.”

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angry_queen
2020-08-19 05:00 pm UTC (link)

She let the banter trail off, her mind firmly settled elsewhere now, and she was cornered. She didn't really know how to react to any of this. She was flailing, mentally, in uncharted waters and damn him for being such a comforting soul when she just wanted to be grumpy and sit with everything until she buried it back under a ton of armor.

But he'd stripped that away and thrown it to the side before she could process what was going on. And she couldn't find any way to be mad about it either. She couldn't even find in her to push him away and stalk off - because deep down she really needed this. If she couldn't lean on Thor, who could she lean on? She had to learn sometime that it was okay not to be all fire and feisty anger. "No one's called Brunhilda in eons."

She wanted to throw it back at him - she was no hero - she'd abandoned Asgard for centuries, millennia even! - but she'd come back when she was really needed and that was far more important than a few missing years. She finally caved after a few moments of not saying anything or moving, and she wrapped her arms back around him, her hold strong as she tried not to let anything else go sideways on her. She didn't hug much, or often, but when she did it was almost bone-crushing.

He didn't understand but... at the same time he did and she made a half-strangled sound that might have, to any other ears, been nearly a sob. She'd held everything in for so long, all these years, that it was kind of like a dam bursting. "Thor - I."

She paused as she tried to sort herself out. She'd been thrown away, sent on a mission she was sure Odin knew she wouldn't come back from - which is why in some regards she understood Loki better than he thought she did - and been burned by the loss of her own self. But Thor was sitting here offering her something she hadn't really had since then.

"Aye, okay I can try," she said finally, suddenly feeling very small. "I guess you can call me Hilde but only you," she said with a faint snort, but she really was trying to cover up the feeling she might just cry. "I hate feeling vulnerable," she added. "I am so lonely sometimes." she finished in barely a whisper.

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stillworthy
2020-08-19 07:31 pm UTC (link)

Thor was almost surprised when Valkyrie hugged him back. He gave his love freely to whomever needed it, but he never expected it back in return from certain people (those people being his siblings and Valkyrie, if he was being honest). “Maybe we should be doing so more often.” And in his head, he was already making a note to use her name, her honest real name more often.

When she sobbed, he squeezed her tighter, rocking slightly. He wasn’t sure how to comfort the woman who barely sought comfort, but he was going to do his best. He rested his chin on the top of her head, taking a long breath. “Hilde, Hilde, Hilde.” He said with a soft, teasing tone.

Thor gently rubbed her back, hearing the tone of tears in her voice. “You can be vulnerable, and I will be strong for the two of us right now. I will protect you in your vulnerable state, just as you would protect me.”

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angry_queen
2020-08-19 07:41 pm UTC (link)

She didn't break often. She could count the number of times on one hand and have fingers left over but oh she was tired. But it also wasn't going to last long. She might break but she put herself together fast.

When he teased, he got a finger jabbed into his ribs for his trouble. And a half snarl from her lips - she only tolerated so much nonsense in one afternoon. She didn't like being vulnerable or open. It felt too raw.

So even as he tried to figure out how to comfort her she was building the walls back up. Her grip loosened slightly, and she sniffed a couple times. "I would, that's true. But if you tell anyone you heard me even start to cry I'll punch you into next week." She was still hurting.

It took more than words to heal some aches.

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