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Teddy Lupin ([info]teddytoo) wrote in [info]somerealityrpg,
@ 2020-01-13 06:41:00

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Entry tags:active: teddy lupin

Who: Teddy Lupin and Open
What: Panic and sadness
Where: On the fourth floor, near the stairway
When: Monday morning, before school; after this


It was a routine that Teddy had allowed himself; He would wake up in the mornings before school, and he would drop by to see his father for breakfast. It was nice, considering all the breakfasts that Teddy had ever wished he’d had with his father. It was Remus who had encouraged Teddy to keep attending the muggle school, if nothing else but because a magic one was not an option here, and Teddy still had many things to learn.

Things had been fine that morning, except that when he’d tried to knock on the apartment door that morning there was no answer. When someone finally did answer, and informed him that Remus’ stuff wasn’t there it was all Teddy could do to numbly nod his head. He’d known it was a possibility that his father, or his mother, could vanish. Hell, his grandmother had.

His father was dead though, that was the key difference. He’d been mad when Andromeda had been taken away, but it was nothing compared to the utter pain in his chest from knowing that his father was dead and that this was the only chance he’d had with him. Still, tears didn’t fall. He couldn’t make them.

But as he walked, he felt dizzy, like all the color was draining from his world. He had to lean on a wall for a moment, and gasp for breath. He couldn’t handle this. His chest was aching and there was a tightness, like something had him in a vice. The blue shocks of color that ran through his hair mutted into a brown to match the rest, and normally concealed marks from acne popped up on his face. He couldn’t focus on his metamorphmagus abilities, not when he couldn’t breath and it felt like someone was squeezing his heart.

He dropped to his knees, feeling almost like it was too much effort to remain standing. He just leaned against the wall, his body shaking with the effort of just trying to breathe, his breath coming out in short, hyperventilating gasps. But still, no tears.



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[info]jolilouis
2020-01-13 01:04 pm UTC (link)
Louis had seen what Teddy wrote on the network, but writing back didn’t seem like a good use of time or effort. He knew the fourth floor fairly well, considering it was where his sister and dad lived, and he booked it down the stairs to go find him. As soon as he opened the door to the floor, he saw him. Moving quickly, he got to Teddy and knelt down in front of him, hand extended but not reaching out in case touching would make things worse.

“Hey Teddy,” he said quietly, calm. “You’re going to be okay, alright?”

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[info]teddytoo
2020-01-13 02:26 pm UTC (link)
It took Teddy a moment to even realize someone was talking to him. He had been looking at his phone, trying to stay focused on something even though almost everything hurt, and he thought he might pass out or throw up.

He looked up at Louis, not sure what he should do. He wanted to fling himself at ths other man, even it wasnt the Louis he was used to, and part of him just wanted to hide. To grieve the loss of his father all over again.

"Lou…" Teddy pushed out, staring up at him wide-eyed. "He's gone. He's dead. All over again." The first time Teddy had lost his father, he had been a baby, it hadnt been a process he cognitively went through until now.

And maybe it had been his fault for getting too attached to someone he knew was dead. The tears where finally falling now, as he let out a gasp of breath. "He's gone."

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[info]jolilouis
2020-01-13 05:12 pm UTC (link)
There was no way for Louis to know what it was like for Teddy, but that was the case back in their own time as well. His parents were alive, he’d grown up with them, the opposite of what Teddy had. To come to this place where those who were dead in one’s own time could be walking around, unscathed, it seemed like a blessing until it wasn’t.

He shifted a bit closer, hand coming to rest on Teddy’s shoulder as the other man started to cry, his own heart tugging at him in response. “I’m sorry, Teddy. I’m so sorry.”

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[info]teddytoo
2020-01-13 07:28 pm UTC (link)
The more he thought about it, the harder the tears fell. Taking another gasping breath of air, Teddy began to furiously brush them off of his face. He had spent 16 years without his father, but he had never felt his absence as acutely as he did in those moments. He remembered the man who was only slightly older than him, who had graciously accepted that he had a teenage son out of nowhere, and who had always listened and offered him chocolates. He remembered the sort of person he had always thought his father might have been. He had read the reassurances, ‘he could come back’ they had said. But even if he did, Teddy would once again be left with memories of a man who wouldn’t know him.

“It’s not like I don’t know that he dies… he’s been dead my whole life.” Teddy chastized himself, his hands balling into fists and pounding at his legs, just something to get the sudden surge of aggression out of his system. “I should have been smarter. It’s crueler to have met him and lost-- I should have never let myself pretend that we could have been something we arent. We can’t be a family. We’re destined to be strangers.”

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[info]jolilouis
2020-01-13 07:58 pm UTC (link)
It truly hurt Louis’ heart, listening to Teddy and watching the effects it was having on him. It wasn’t the same for him, with his father who didn’t know him. Bill wasn’t much older than him there in Goodland, didn’t have kids but Victoire back in his own time, he didn’t know Louis. But he would, was the difference, and Louis knew him. Teddy hadn’t ever had the chance to know his father outside of Goodland, and that made it all the more cruel he’d been taken away.

“Hey, you weren’t stupid about it,” Louis said, giving Teddy’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Of course you wanted to meet him, get to know him. You can’t beat yourself up over that, Ted. You saw a chance to have something you haven’t before and you took it. And yeah, now it sucks, but you’re not alone here.”

Not that anyone else could take that place, and he wasn’t trying to say they could. “Just breathe, okay?”

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