Wry and Watchful (wryandwatchful) wrote in solsticerp, @ 2012-01-25 22:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | jesse, july 8 2009, tayne |
Wednesday: Restful
Who: Tayne and Jesse (duh <3 )
Where: The church
When: Late evening
After dropping his things off at the house, and stopping long enough to grab a bite to eat to hopefully quell his uneasy stomach from the boat ride back, Tayne made his weary way to the church to make sure nothing had been disturbed in his absence. He'd had one of the local parishioners locking and unlocking the sanctuary during the day, and checking to make sure everything was as it should be, but he wanted to make sure for himself.
Besides, maybe he could find some measure of peace in there, at least enough to let him sleep tonight. His sleep the night before, though exhausted, had been restless, and what he remembered of his dreams had been unpleasant. Jesse had been there, too, and that only made him feel worse.
So he headed through the familiar double doors, pushing one open, and flicked on the lights, so the room was illuminated by more than candles and reflected streetlights through the windows.
Jesse, of course, had no idea when Tayne was returning to the island, so he hadn't come to the church thinking that he'd see him. Really, he'd come here simply because he loved the place. It was calming in the midst of the peculiar and ever-changing life he had now, a place where he could relax and just be without feeling the need to do anything else. He'd been here since dusk, lying without moving on the front pew, the one closest to the altar with its flickering votive candles, staring up at the ceiling and watching the way the faint light coming through the stained glass windows changed as the sky outside got darker and darker.
It startled him when lights suddenly came on overhead, and one of his hands grasped the back of the pew as he levered himself into a sitting position. The overhead lights weren't bright, but they made him squint his eyes anyway after so long in near-darkness. When he spied Tayne, he smiled. "Evenin'," he said, raking his free hand through his hair in a futile attempt to straighten it.
The sudden movement startled Tayne, and he found himself-- to his dismay and discouragement-- reaching again for a weapon that he no longer carried. He forced his hand back down as he recognized Jesse, and felt a little like his heart was being squeezed, not quite painful but definitely uncomfortable. The last person he wanted to face tired, stressed, and heartworn: right there in front of him. So the smile he offered was a little wan.
"Hey. Fancy meetin' you here. You been here long?"
"A little while," Jesse said, swinging his legs off the pew so his feet were on the floor. "I was just soakin' in the atmosphere, I guess." Something about the expression Tayne wore made him think about the dream he'd shared with him while he'd been gone, and he felt sure that something distressing had happened. But would Tayne tell him about it in actual life? He put his hands in his lap and linked the fingers together, wishing that he'd figured out a way to level with Tayne about his dreamwalking before now. He felt as if he were being deceptive, and that wasn't something he ever wanted to do. "Did you find her?"
At least Tayne didn't have any problem answering that question, and his smile got a little more natural, if still kind of tired. He started heading down the center isle, towards the altar and Jesse, both. "Yep. Gave her a little talisman to help keep th'shadows at bay, whenever she feels scared... an' set up weekly meetings with her an' her mother. Poor kid, she's got... I know who she is, now that I seen her an' spoke with her mother. Schit-- schizo-- got mental problems." Tayne didn't even try to enumerate them. He'd never get the words out. He dropped down onto the pew next to Jesse.
Jesse felt a vast amount of relief that Natalie was okay, at least for now. Maybe she'd come to realize that the world wasn't such a bad place, maybe the chemicals in her brain would be alleviated with medication and counseling. He could hope, anyway. "I'm glad you were there for her." He wished he could have been, too, but once he'd realized that he couldn't leave the island, he'd known that wasn't a possibility.
"Me, too. She even told me 'bout th'whole dyin' thing, sorta. I think our second talk went better'n th'first." Presumably because his blessing had done what he'd said it would, and he'd come back when he'd promised to. Things like that, building trust through consistency, were at least things Tayne could do. He leaned back in the pew with a sigh. "I ain't much of a psych-type, but I'll do my best, since I think she'll actually agree t'see me an' talk t'me."
"You have a way with people," Jesse said, absently picking at one cuff of his long-sleeved shirt. "Must be why you chose the profession you did." A priest was probably the closest thing to a psychologist that many people would ever know, from what Jesse understood of how they functioned. He thought that Tayne would do well working with Natalie, considering the girl had actually agreed to meet with him again.
"Heh, well, I do like helpin' folks. Doin' it with words is a bit trickier, especially with somebody like poor Natalie, but I s'ppose it's th'best way, y'know?" Tayne shut his eyes a moment tiredly. "It's good t'be back home, though. Boat ride was exhausting, day weren't much better before that." And with how badly he'd slept... yeah, he was ready for an early bedtime. Too bad he couldn't write sermons on the benefits of sleeping well and staying on solid ground. That'd be an easy one.
Jesse's head was turned slightly to the side so he could see Tayne, and when the priest closed his eyes, he could more easily read how exhausted he was. He knew Tayne didn't like water, so a boat ride wouldn't really have been a picnic, would it? When Tayne said that the day wasn't much better than the boat ride, he felt a pang of guilt, but he had to ask, anyway; he couldn't exactly admit that he had an inkling that something had gone awry. "Did something happen?" he inquired, his voice soft.
"'Side from dealing with a girl with her head not quite on straight who wanted t'kill herself, an' I had to talk 'er out of it?" He opened his eyes again to give Jesse a wan but affectionate sort of smile. "That'd be enough t'be exhausting, anyway, but... well, yeah." The smile faded into rather obvious discomfort. "Ran, uh. Ran into a vampire, on th'mainland... killed one of my flock, from here." And he lost his temper and torched the fucker. Ugh. Sorry. "Didn't go well, t'put it mildly. Spent a good bit of time last night an' some t'day with th'police."
I killed that vampire... I killed him, Jesse could hear Tayne saying, in the dreamworld. He'd been so anguished that it hurt a little to think about it even now. He'd wanted to do something, anything, to make it better, but he didn't feel that he'd succeeded. Maybe a little, but not enough to really count. "I'm sorry," he said. He hadn't had any idea about one of Tayne's flock being killed. That would have to be horrible to deal with. "Sounds like it was a really stressful trip, all the way 'round." At least a little bit of good had come out of it, he thought.
"P-pretty much." Damned stutter! Sorry... I'm slippin' like... like crazy lately. In more ways than one. "But s'over now, an' we got a plan for Natalie, an' I'm home with all them cookies, that I'm gonna make some inroads on t'night an' t'morrow, lemme tell you. How was yer week?" He clapped Jesse's arm lightly, as if in a physical attempt at cheering himself up and moving the subject along. "No more run-ins of yer own kind've problems, I hope?"
Jesse had to smile at the thought of the tons of cookies Tayne had; surely he would've had to freeze some of them, or they'd get stale. Was there a freezer big enough for that many cookies? He turned his attention to Tayne's question, putting such whimsies out of his mind for now. "My week was pretty ordinary. I'm kinda not used to that," he admitted. Of course, he'd dreamwalked during the nighttime hours, like he usually did, but none of the dreams had been as disturbing as Natalie's had. That was something to be thankful for.
Tayne actually cheated: he used magic to keep air from the cookies, to keep them from getting stale. He needed to practice, after all, and small things like that kept him in practice. In practice enough to set a vampire on fire.... But he couldn't give up on the gift, or he might not have it when he really did need it. He just had to be more careful about his temper, that was all. "Hey, quiet an' ordinary, I think is how y'wanna have it." Though with no job, no need to eat, and so few friends, Tayne worried a little that the guy might go stir-crazy.... "No more trouble from that door?"
Was he here for quiet and ordinary? Jesse tried not to think about that too much. He was doing everything he could to fulfill what he sensed to be his purpose; he supposed everyone had off days, even divinely or supernaturally resurrected suicides. When Tayne asked him about the door, his expression shifted a little, a mild concern etching it. "Not really," he said softly. "I mean... I'm not sure." He hated to come across like some paranoid guy who was afraid of the dark, but--. There was something. "Sometimes I hear things behind there. Can't really tell what it is."
"Not surprisin', I did last time I was there," Tayne reminded him somberly. It made him remember his promise to find more spells that could give him more information about that door, and how he hadn't followed through. He'd have to make sure to do that, now that he was back. It'd be a good distraction from the vampire thing, though he knew he'd not forget it entirely, not any time soon. He'd already started a regimen of prayer, even though he hadn't had a chance to call his own priest to confess. It'd be a weight on him well after that, too, he was sure. "You want me t'have another look at it? I... I could find them spells I promised you, t'try and find out more, without waking whatever magic's already in it."
"I don't want you t'do anything that'd put you in danger," Jesse said without even thinking about it. What had happened with the door the last time Tayne had taken a crack at it had made him very uneasy. So uneasy that he tried to avoid thinking about it, really. "If there's a way we could do it--" He paused, looking sheepish. "--carefully, maybe?" While Jesse was fully willing and able to guard the door, it gave him the willies, in all honesty. After dark, he didn't like being inside the lighthouse with it, which would explain why he often went out onto the catwalk to dreamwalk.
"I'll be a'right," Tayne promised. "I'll be more prepared this time, an' I'll be usin' magic that ain't so likely to catch anythin' attention. Or at least, that's the plan, I gotta put 'em together first, make sure I know what I'm workin' on, an' such. But it'll be okay." He wasn't quite as nervous about it as Jesse, but when it came to magic, at least he was reasonably confident in himself. The moral uses of that magic, not quite so much... but the spells themselves, he didn't mind. And at least this was a legitimate use, not what he'd done last night. He almost wanted to go do it right now, but he knew better than that.
"If you're sure," Jesse said. He wasn't, necessarily, but he didn't want to seem less than confident of Tayne's abilities just because he was worried that he would get hurt. He figured it would take a bit to get the spells together, which was just as well, because he could tell how exhausted Tayne was. He was feeling a bit guilty for even being here tonight, but he hadn't known when Tayne would return. He figured he could take his leave soon so his friend could get some rest.
"I'm sure," Tayne promised with a fond sort of smile. That Jesse worried did make him feel good, even though he knew perfectly well that Jesse would worry over anybody, not just him. "S'good t'see ya, though. I was jest planning on a quick check over here t'make sure nobody made off with anything while I was gone, but it's nice jest sittin', too." Probably more relaxing than the hurried breeze-through he'd planned; having Jesse here and non-judgemental did wonders for his mood. That probably wasn't such a good thing, but just then he was to tired to care.
Jesse shifted a little on the pew, half-turning toward Tayne and stretching his arm across the back of it enough so he could prop his head on one hand. He liked being around Tayne, found his presence soothing-- maybe it was just the way Tayne always seemed to know what to do, had answers or advice for his peculiar supernatural issues, who knew?-- and he'd been completely sincere when he'd told Tayne that he was his best friend, in the dreamworld. "It's restful in here," he said softly. "I liked it ever since that first night."
"It is." Tayne smiled at that, a little wryly. "I like t'claim it's all the spells I put on the place, but it was like this 'fore I got here, too." Maybe not quite as strongly or as obviously, but it still had been plenty peaceful even without all the restful, protective magic he put on the building. He'd have to renew those soon, actually... maybe after the Sunday service, when he had time to breathe again.
Jesse had never heard of spells before he'd met Tayne, at least not in any way that applied to real life. He had no idea if they could give a place this aura of serenity, but if they could, more power to them. He let his gaze wander over to the altar candles for a few moments, taking a soft breath and exhaling it. then glancing back over at Tayne. "I'm glad you're back," he said. Somehow, the island hadn't felt quite right to him while he'd known that Tayne wasn't there. It was probably his imagination, but still.
That made Tayne pause, blink, and actually blush. Jesse really shouldn't be saying shit-- stuff; sorry!-- stuff like that to him. It would only make this stupid crush worse. "Glad t'be back, too," he answered, embarrassed but unable to help being pleased, too. "Now I ain't likely to go anywhere for another month or two." His trips off the island were rare, understandable given how much he hated the trip there. If only there was magic to transport a fellow from one place to another instantaneously... or if there was, if only Tayne knew it.
Jesse remembered what he wasn't supposed to know about Tayne at the oddest times. He hadn't had any double meaning in what he'd said, but if one thought about it a certain way, it might seem that there could be. He noticed Tayne's mild discomfiture, but what could he say about it? Nothing, that was what. All he'd meant was to let Tayne know his absence had been noticed, that he'd been missed. As a friend, of course. He shifted his gaze away again, shaking the cuff of his long-sleeved shirt over his free hand and gathering the material in his fist. "I guess I'm not goin' anywhere ever," he said, trying a small, feeble joke.
"Aw, I-- I bet that ain't true," Tayne answered, a bit awkwardly, and patted Jesse on the shoulder, trying to reassure both of them. He was okay with being friends, after all. Priests didn't date, period, women or men. "Maybe once this door thing's got sorted out, you'll have more freedom. Can't 'magine you'll be stuck here f'rever." That would just be cruel. Or, well, unless he was naturally a home-body, or something, but even then, the guy oughta have a better "home" if this was a long-term thing.
Jesse didn't point out that he couldn't leave the island. He knew that Tayne was aware of that, hence Tayne having to go to the mainland instead of him. He didn't know that his status would suddenly change, but he supposed he could hope. "Maybe," he replied, thinking that might be exactly what he could expect. He was dead; he couldn't go home to Tennessee. Maybe he'd be here forever as punishment for what he'd done. Or maybe his punishment had been that year he'd spent in limbo, forced to see the world but not interact with it. There was no way to know.
Personally, Tayne was hoping that once all the door stuff was sorted out, Jesse would be free to leave the island. For now, though, they had to muddle through and handle the door stuff. So he'd get to work, for certain, on the spells to examine it. "We can hope, anyhow," he answered, with more confidence than he really felt, and he looked around again with a sigh before straightening. "I'd best lock up an' get back home, since everythin' seems in order here...." And he was overdue for some comfort food and bed.
"It's gettin' late," Jesse agreed, sitting up and lifting his head from his hand. Time didn't mean as much to him as it did the average person, even nighttime, since he didn't sleep. He imagined he'd spend the evening visiting people's dreams, and that was as good a past-time as any. He pushed his hand out of his sleeve and stood up, taking Tayne's words as a cue that it was time for him to go. "I should get back, myself, I guess."
"Don't mean t'kick you out," Tayne said, a little apologetically. "But if I sit still too long, I'm like to nod off here, an' that won't do nobody any good. You can hang out, outside, in th'graveyard, if you wanna." Though then Tayne might keep lingering by windows at the rectory, to catch glimpses of him, so he both hoped and didn't hope that Jesse would decide to hang around.
"'S'okay," Jesse said. "You've had a long week." He could remember what it had felt like to lie down in bed and go to sleep when he'd been extremely tired; it was something he thought of wistfully. In a strange way, he missed sleep. He was caught by surprise by Tayne telling him he could hang out in the graveyard, and he chuckled, his expression almost mischievous. "That depends on if there's anyone hangin' around for me to talk to," he said. Meaning ghosts, of course, which was a strong possibility. Some of them really seemed to like graveyards.
"Huh? --oh. Right." Tayne took a second to remember the ghosts thing, and he shook his head with a smile. "Leave me t'wonder jest who's out there jabberin', I guess. All right. Wanna walk with me through th'place while I lock up all the doors?" No sense chasing him off sooner than he had to, and there were a few doors in the back to do, first, before he locked up the sanctuary proper.
"Sure," Jesse said when Tayne asked him if he wanted to walk through and lock up with him. Might as well. It wasn't as if he had any reason to hurry to get back to the lighthouse. "That means you're gonna have to haul your butt off the pew, though," he joked. He almost extended a hand to help Tayne up but then decided against it. That was one thing he disliked about the dreamworld: the way he knew secrets he should have no idea about. It was an uncomfortable feeling sometimes.
"Ah, shut up," Tayne answered, but amiably and with a little smile for the tease, as he did just that: hauled his butt off the pew and stood up with a little groan. He had to stretch once he was there, to work out the remaining kinks from the long, tense boat ride. "I'm fully c-c-capable of standin' up. Now, stayin' there, that's 'nother story." He started out of the pews and around towards the center isle, up towards the altar and the doors in the back that led to the offices.
"You don't have to stand up for long," Jesse said, something that was close to affection in his tone. "Just long enough t'lock the doors and shoo me out." He trailed along behind Tayne, sparing another glance for the altar as they passed it. There was something about the flickering candles that he could watch for hours; he'd almost been sorry that Tayne had turned on the lights when he'd come into the sanctuary.
Tayne shot Jesse a wry but fond smile, back, and said, "I think I'll make it, yeah." He ran his fingers over the flat edge of the altar as he passed, a much less formal gesture than some priests he knew, but still an acknowledgement of it, then headed straight for the door with only a brief pause to check the confessional was empty. It was. A poorly-wired thought in his brain urged him to take Jesse's hand, but he knew well enough how to squash those thoughts by now, and instead he just opened the hall door and held it for him.
Jesse passed through the door Tayne held open, breathing in the scents that seemed to define the church and its surrounding buildings: wax, a faint lemon furniture polish, clean air. It was funny how smells evoked so many different things. The lighthouse was all metal, stone and the salt tang of the ocean. He waited for his friend to join him, mentally bidding farewell to the sanctuary until the next time.