snarryswapmod (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} snarryswapmod) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} snarry_swap,@ 2010-01-13 00:01:00 |
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| Entry tags: | aceia, creation: fic, rated: nc-17 |
Happy Daft Day, eriador117!
Recipient: eriador117
Title: Just a Technicality
Author: aceia
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~7000
Warning(s): *Incest*
Prompt/Summary: James Potter was infertile and the Potters get IVF treatment. Unknown to them, Severus was the donor. Years later Severus finds out but he doesn't tell Harry because he wants to get him into bed. What does Harry do when he finds out that his lover is really his father?
A/N: eriador117 when I first read your sign up I drooled at the three optional prompts you gave. I was hoping that whoever got assigned you as their recipient would use one of them. I was excited when I received my assignment since I adore your work. Even though all three prompts were amazing, I had to go with the first one since that caught my eye to begin with. I hope you like it! Many thanks to my beta, bewarethesmirk, for helping me make this fic what it is. You are the best! Any other mistakes are my own.
James paced around his bedroom, waiting for Lily to come back. This potion has to work. Hearing a door open, he glanced up and paused, as Lily entered with her head bowed.
“What - What's it say?” he said, trying and failing to keep the nervousness out of his voice.
Peering up, Lily shook her head, tearing filling her eyes. “I'm not pregnant,” she mumbled, her voice choked with tears.
“Lily,” he breathed, crossing over to comfort her. He held her, slowly rocking her as she trembled. Murmuring soothing words, he tried to calm her down.
“Why can't I get pregnant?” she asked as she pulled back. “I've read books, and we've tried all the different spells and potions...what's wrong with me?”
James ran his hand through her hair. “Nothing's wrong with you, Lily. It'll just be a little bit harder for us. We'll figure it out.”
“I want to go to St. Mungo's and see someone.”
“Lily,” he said in shock. “Nothing's wrong with us. It'll just take us a little longer to get pregnant that's all. The stress from the war can't be helping.”
Lily looked up, determination in her steely eyes. “Everything we've tried hasn't worked, James. I've researched and researched and nothing has helped.”
“But Lily -”
“I've already made the appointment, James,” she said. “It's next week, and you're not going to be able to change my mind.”
James studied her, tracing her features: the narrowed eyes, the pursed lips and the determined tilt to her chin. He knew he was not going to win.
“What time next week?” he asked, resignation colouring his voice.
“Thursday. 1:30pm. We have to go to the maternity ward.” She paused and took a deep breath, biting her lip. “I know you don't like it, but I have to do this.”
Shaking his head, he grinned at her ruefully. “Anything for you, Lily.” He hugged her, breathing in the scent of fresh flowers that clung to her hair before pulling away. “This doctor better be able to help,” he said as he pulled her out of the room.
“Mr. and Mrs. Potter. It's nice to see you again. Please sit down.” James stole a glance at Lily as he took her hand before sitting in the seat in front of the doctor's desk. He couldn't help fidgeting, shaking his leg restlessly as he waited for the doctor to speak. A hand on his leg forced him to stop, and he smiled at Lily weakly. A sigh made him look up.
Doctor Hort closed the file he was perusing and glanced at them for a few moments before speaking. “You are perfectly fine, Mrs. Potter. There should be nothing stopping you from getting pregnant.”
“But what - “ Raising his hand, Doctor Hort silenced her.
“Mrs. Potter is fine,” he said, firmly. He turned to James. “Your pregnancy problems lie with you, Mr. Potter. You cannot have children.”
Silence. Blinking at the doctor, the words ran through James’ mind again. He snorted before bursting out in laughter, tears of mirth running down his face the longer he laughed. He was the only person laughing, though, and he looked at Lily to see why she didn’t find this funny. Seeing the concern in her widened eyes and tense expression, he forced himself to calm down.
“Lily, he’s just joking. I told you there was nothing to worry about.”
“James,” Lily said hesitantly. “I think he was serious.”
“’Course he was joking, Lily.” Turning to the doctor, he prompted: “Tell her, Doctor. There's no way I could be sterile.”
“Mr. Potter, this is serious. You cannot have children.”
“You’re taking the mickey. It was a good joke, Doctor, but you're really scaring Lily now.” James turned to soothe Lily. “Don’t worry, darling. He's obviously joking.” He turned back to the doctor as he cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Potter, but we tried numerous spells and potions to test your fertility. We checked and rechecked the results. You are sterile. There is no way you can have children.”
James stared at Doctor Hort, trying to squash the uncertainly rising in him. He looked between the doctor and Lily, waiting for one of them to start laughing, proving it was all a joke. As time ticked by and the silence grew more and more uncomfortable, James felt the first flickers of fear.
“This isn't funny anymore,” he bit out, anger and desperation lacing his voice. “I am not sterile... I can't be. I'm a Potter.”
“Mr. Potter,” Doctor Hort started to say, then paused. He lifted the file and held it out, prompting one of them to take it. James grabbed it from him and flipped it open, scanning the document as the doctor continued to speak. “There are different options you can take. If you are set on having children...”
James stared at the paper in his hands, gaze locked on the word next to his name. James Potter: Infertile. He knew Lily and the doctor were talking but he could not hear what was being said over the whooshing in his ears. He couldn't breathe through the lump in his throat. He didn’t even notice the file falling out of his hands or Lily picking it up.
I'm sterile. I'm...sterile. The words circulated his thoughts. He couldn't process them - didn't want to process them.
“James...James, can you hear me?”
Slowly blinking, James looked up at Lily, trying to comprehend her question. She looks worried, he thought. It was a few moments before he could understand what she said. “I - Yes. I can hear you,” he mumbled, barely able to get the words out. “Tell me it's a joke, Lily,” he begged, hoping that it was all an elaborate prank.
Emotions flickered across her face, too fast for James to decipher. When she did not speak, he knew it was true.
“I - I'm sterile,” he choked out in shock. His breath sped up as the whole weight of it hit him. He couldn't catch his breath, couldn't stop the rising fear, and didn't want to stop the black spots from invading his vision.
November, 1979
“Do you really want to do this James?” Lily asked, looking up from her book to stare at her husband.
James closed his book with a snap, barely glancing up at Lily as he pulled another book closer. “No, but what choice do we have. We both want children and I obviously can't provide them. This is our only option.”
“We don't have to have children,” Lily offered.
James finally pulled his head out of the book. “Yes we do, Lily. It's what you want. You've talked about nothing besides getting into your Charms apprenticeship even since we got married, and once you finished that, having children before you got too invested in your career.” Running his hands through his hair, James sighed. They had been trying for four months. Four long, anxiety filled months. “Even if I'm not able to give you children myself, I'll make sure you have them.”
“James -”
“No, Lily,” he said, firmly, in a voice that brooked no argument. “I'm not changing my mind on this.”
“Are you sure?”
“We've been over this a thousand times. Yes, I am sure,” he bit out, annoyance seeping into his voice. “Why are we going over this again?”
Lily opened her mouth, then shut it. Slowly passing the book over, she pointed to an entry. “Patient X3764,” she whispered.
“This is who you want?” he asked finally, resignation colouring his tone.
“I want you,” she replied. “But since I can't have you, then yes. He's smart, funny, and his features are similar enough to yours that I think it could pass. I'd rather be having your child, though,” she mumbled as he watched her twist her wedding ring on her pale finger.
Looking up, he gazed at Lily, sighing internally. She would never have his children. He knew he would love any child Lily had like his own, but a part of him still wished he could provide one for her. “If this is who you want then this is who you'll get,” he said, getting up to tell the doctor.
Battle of Hogwarts
The Dark Lord is on his way, and I have to lead Potter to his death. Potter dying was the only way to defeat the Dark Lord but he couldn’t help wondering if there was another way. Ever since he had caught a glimpse of Potter in the Forest of Dean he had been having... thoughts... about him.
How disgusting are you, Severus? Lusting after a boy half your age. Lusting after your son.
Hearing the sounds of battle, Severus pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, covering them with his Occlumency shields before standing. Now is not the time to develop feelings for Potter.
Severus never looked back as he strode out of his office. His last thought before joining the battle was: It doesn't matter anyway. He's going to be dead before the sun rises tomorrow.
June, 1998
Severus awoke in the infirmary, groaning as pain wracked his body.
“You’re awake.”
He glanced over at the voice, eyes widening as he saw Potter standing over him. How did he survive? He opened his mouth to ask just that, but was stopped.
“Don't talk. Nagini did a lot of damage. The potion Madam Pomfrey gave you is working to rebuild your muscles. She told me to give you some Dreamless Sleep so you could sleep through the rest of it.” As Harry held out the goblet and helped Severus to drink it, Severus couldn't help but be grateful that Harry had lived.
If anyone deserved it, it was him, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.
September, 1998
“Were you in love with my mother?”
“Mr. Potter, I am not now nor have I even been in love with your mother.” Severus gazed shrewdly at Harry. Ever since he woke up the first time three months ago, Potter was sitting beside his bed every time he opened his eyes. Severus couldn’t figure it out. He wasn’t nice, and his near death experience had not changed that fact. Yet, Potter stayed. Even after regaining his voice, unleashing his sharp tongue upon Potter, he still came back for more. It was quite disconcerting.
“But your memories...”
“Mr. Potter,” he growled, irritation making his eye twitch. “I am not in love with your mother. My inclinations do not run towards the fairer sex.”
“Your what?”
“I'm a homosexual, Mr. Potter,” he snarled out, annoyed that he had been reduced to talking about his sexuality.
“Oh,” Harry said, shocked.
“Yes, 'oh'. Now that we have got that out of the way, may I please be allowed to enjoy my convalescence in silence?” Severus turned away from Harry and ignored all other attempts at conversation.
November, 1998
“Where do you think you are going?”
Severus swore under his breath as he turned around and looked at Poppy. “To my rooms, Poppy. I have been here for five months. You healed - to the best of your abilities - the damage to my neck. There is nothing wrong with me, and I would like to go back to my dungeons and collect my things before I leave.”
“Leave? Where are you going?”
Severus groaned at the questions spoken quietly from behind him. He had been hoping to leave before Potter got there.
“To collect my things from my room and then go home to Spinner's End. With the Ministry’s pardon, I no longer have to teach at this wretched institution.”
“You can't be left alone,” Harry said, stopping next to him. “Right, Madam Pomfrey?”
“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” he snapped, glaring at Harry, daring him to comment.
“Still, you should have someone to help you for the first few months.”
“You are not coming to my house, Potter, and that is final.” Severus turned around and stalked out of the room. I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands off you if you did.
“I'll just follow you,” Harry called after him.
A knock at the door broke the silence. Glancing towards the front door, Severus wished fervently for it to stop.
This is the third day in a row, Severus snarled.
Muffled words drifted through the door and in spite of himself, he moved closer to hear what Harry was yelling. “I know you’re in there, Snape. I’ll just keep coming back until you let me in. You can’t ignore me forever.”
“I can surely try,” he grumbled to himself, stalking back to his chair and flipping open a Potions journal as he sat. Forcing himself to ignore the sounds from outside, he perused the journal, getting lost in the intricacies of the Potions.
Time passed by without Severus noticing. Darkness descended, finally pulling Severus out of the journal so that he could light the candles. Listening for any sound and not hearing any, he smirked at the thought that he had outwitted Harry.
Getting up, he stretched and set the journal down, shuffling into the kitchen to warm up some leftovers for supper. A muffled sound from outside stopped him in his tracks. Glancing at the front door over his shoulder, Severus thought: He’s not still out there, is he?
He turned around and waved his wand at the door, making it transparent. Cursing suddenly at the image shown – Harry bent over, shivering from the cold – he stormed over to the door, yanked it open, seconds before he hauled Harry inside towards the fireplace.
“Why didn’t you cast a Warming Charm, you fool boy?” he snarled over the chattering of Harry’s teeth, waving his wand to make the room warmer. “Or better yet, leave when it became cold.”
“I didn’t think I would be out there for that long.”
“Why not?” Severus sneered. “Did you really think I would let you in? I didn’t let you in the past two days, why would you think I would change my mind today.”
“Well I’m inside now aren’t I?” Harry replied, coughing fitfully and huddling closer to the fire.
“Accio Pepper-Up Potion,” Severus snapped, catching the bottle as it flew into the room and handing it to Harry, watching as he gulped it down. Ignoring the steam coming out if Harry’s ears, Severus continued: “There was no guarantee that I would let you in.”
“I know, but I had to try. If you make me leave, I’ll just come back until you let me stay.”
“Like I told Poppy, I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Did she find a way to cure the nerve damage you sustained from the venom?”
Severus glared at him. “That is none of your business.”
“Maybe not, but you need someone to help you.”
“I’ll not be manipulated into allowing you to stay,” he scoffed. “I can and will ignore you.”
“I’m not going to change your mind?”
“No,” Severus replied.
“Fine, I’ll leave.” Harry stood up and walked towards the door. Hand on the doorknob, he murmured: “I guess Poppy will have to send that nurse after all.”
Severus narrowed his eyes. “What did you say?”
Glancing over his shoulder, Harry replied nonchalantly. “Poppy said that if I couldn’t get you to agree to let me stay then she’d have to get a professional to oversee the rest of your recovery.”
“If I won’t let you in my home, what makes her think I would let a stranger stay?”
“Because, it’s either that or staying at St. Mungo’s. Poppy’s already in contact with someone from the hospital. They’ve decided that if you won’t allow someone to help you at home, you will be moved to the hospital. You won’t be able to leave until they release you.”
Potter was right, to Severus’ displeasure. He couldn’t stay at the hospital; there wasn’t enough protection. A nurse in his home was out of the question as well. They would never allow him to work on his potions to try and find a cure. As much as he hated the idea, at least with Potter, he would have the ability to manipulate any situations in his favor.
“Fine, Potter” he growled, annoyance seeping into his voice. “You can stay.”
February, 1999
Severus glanced out of the corner of his eye and stared as Potter worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he read. Ever since Potter had started living with him it was getting harder to ignore him. His gaze would follow Potter’s every move, lingering on his mouth or arse.
His breath hitched as he watched Potter’s tongue dart out to wet his finger so he could turn the page. I can provide him with something better, he thought. He would nip and suck on those lips until they were swollen, then watch as Potter wrapped them around his prick, lapping at the head with his delectable pink tongue –
“Stop that,” Severus suddenly snapped, out loud, forcing his thoughts away from Potter.
Blinking owlishly, Harry looked up. “Stop what? I’m not doing anything.”
Blanching, as he realised that he had spoken his thoughts out loud, he scrambled to come up with something to say. “Turning the pages like that,” he said, wincing internally at the words but knowing it was too late to take them back.
“What’s wrong with the way I turn the pages?” Harry asked.
“You lick your finger. An enemy could use that knowledge to poison you.”
“There’s no one here except you and me,” he said, slowly.
“That’s not the point. Just stop doing it,” Severus snapped.
“O- kay…” Harry said, turning back to his book, while shaking his head.
April, 1999
Severus walked out of his lab and up the stairs, ready to take a shower to wash away the grime. He froze as he saw Harry come out of the bathroom, clad only in pyjama pants while towelling his hair dry.
His mouth dried out, as he got a closer – better – look at Harry than the brief glimpse back in the Forest of Dean had allowed. While not overly muscular and never experiencing a growth spurt like the rest of the boys in his year, Harry had filled out: his shoulders broader, legs and arms lengthened until he had finally grown into his body. He had a quiet confidence about him that was evident in the way he carried himself.
“Oh, Severus,” Harry said as he looked up, stopping suddenly to avoid hitting him. “I didn’t see you.”
“Naturally,” Severus murmured as he watched a drop of water roll down Harry’s chest to disappear in Harry’s happy trail. It was like a beacon, telling him the path he should follow. Severus’ cock twitched and started to fill as he thought about following that trail with his tongue, not stopping until he had Harry’s prick in his mouth. Snapping his gaze back up to Harry's face, he flushed and prayed it was not noticeable.
“The loo’s yours if you need it,” Harry said, sliding around Severus to get by. Severus shivered as Harry brushed against him, his gaze following Harry’s arse as he walked to his room.
He is my son, he thought, fleeing into the loo, with his prick throbbing in his smalls. He groaned when that did nothing to diminish his erection. Even though he wanted nothing more than to take himself in hand to get rid of the problem, he would not wank to thoughts of Harry.
Cold shower it is. Grimacing in distaste, he quickly stripped and stepped into the tub.
July, 1999
“Mr. Potter, it has come to my notice that your birthday is in a few weeks. As it is… customary… to give a person a gift, I was wondering what you would like.” Severus mentally sneered at himself. When have I ever given a damn about someone’s birthday?
If you want to get into his pants you’ll have to appease him, his inner voice said in a sing-song tone.
Who said I wanted…?
Shut up, Harry’s talking.
Severus glanced at Harry, sneering at himself for getting into an argument - with himself.
Severus forced himself back to the conversation just in time for him to hear: “– don’t have to get me anything, Severus.”
“Nonsense. It is your birthday after all. Every boy wants something for their birthday; I expect the Boy-Who-Lived to be no different.”
“I’m not a boy,” Harry retorted, eyes gleaming with amusement, as he stood up and waved a hand over his body. “I don’t look like a boy, and I don’t act like a boy. When are you going to see me as I truly am?”
Severus swept an admiring gaze over Harry, stopping to admire the toned physique: broadened shoulders, wiry frame, and tapered waist leading to Quidditch-toned thighs. Yes, Severus could definitely see that Harry was no longer a boy.
“Yes, I can see that,” Severus murmured as he dragged he eyes back up to Harry’s face, narrowing as he noticed the flush staining his cheeks.
“Um… yeah,” Harry sputtered.
“What do you want?”
“I – I – nothing.” Harry gulped, licking his lips and glancing down.
“Where’s your vaulted Gryffindor courage?” Severus watched the flush spread across Harry face, breath hitching as he wondered how far down it went. “Come now, in the months after the final battle, you did not run, scared from my vitriol. What do you want?”
Severus watched as Harry’s jaw clenched, and Harry jerked his head up, determination in his eye.
“I want a kiss,” Harry said, the quiver in his voice betraying his nervousness. “From you.” He flushed brighter and looked back down at the floor.
“A kiss?” Severus repeated, shocked, his lips tingled at the thought of what Harry’s lips would feel like.
Do it, that damn, infernal voice piped up again.
He’s my son, or have you forgot that part. I may not have raised him but he is still biologically my son.
That’s just a technicality.
He’s a boy.
That doesn’t stop you from lusting after him.
It’s wrong, Severus snarled in anger, feeling more uncomfortable.
When has the idea that something is wrong ever stopped you before?</i> the voice shot back.
Not able to argue, Severus ignored the voice, deeply unsettled that his conscience was telling him to ignore the moral issues at stake in this maddening situation. Trying to buy some time, Severus asked: “Why would you want to kiss me – your greasy Potions Master who hates you?”
“You don't hate me anymore,” Harry snapped, eyes blazing, and then his voice gentled. “Because I want to.”
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that? You are a Gryffindor after –”
“And,” Harry cut in, looking up at Severus. “Because if you really hated me you would have thrown me out all those months ago.”
“So I didn’t throw you out. What makes you think I would want to kiss you?” Severus smirked internally, believing he had stumped Harry.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention. There’s… something… in your eyes and when I finally turn to look at you, you have to drag your eyes away from my lips, or arms, or whatever you’re staring at, at that moment. Don’t try to deny it.”
Hah, he’s not as unobservant as you’d like to think.
“You don’t want this,” Severus said, firmly, trying to dissuade Harry, and himself. His resolve was crumbling with every word. If Harry continued asking, he didn’t know if he would be able to stop himself.
“I do.” Harry walked closer, coming to a stop a few feet from Severus. “It’s just a kiss, Severus. What are you afraid of?”
Yes…what are you afraid of?
“A kiss is all you want?” Severus’ gaze snapped back to Harry. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Harry murmured, lifting his head and staring boldly into Severus’ eyes.
Severus stalked closer to Harry, stopping when he was a hair’s breadth away. Leaning down, he gazed at Harry, looking for any hint of himself, anything that would allow him to deny Harry. In all the years he had known Harry, he had never seen a glimpse of himself in his features. This time was no different.
Severus swooped in, lightly grazing his lips against Harry’s in a chaste kiss. Pulling back, he searched for any hint of disgust or scorn. Not seeing any, he kissed Harry again, sweeping his tongue out to lick across Harry’s lips. He nipped Harry’s bottom lip, pulling a gasp from him.
Hearing it, Severus pulled back, gazing at Harry’s flushed face. “You’re playing with fire, Mr. Potter. You don’t want to get burnt,” he murmured as he turned around and left.
“What if I want to get burnt?” Severus heard Harry whisper as he left.
March, 2000
Severus glanced up as he heard the door slam. Narrowing his eyes, he cast a Stasis Charm over his potion before exiting his lab to find out what had Harry in a snit. Following the sound of curses and irate muttering, he stopped in the living room doorway, eyebrows rising as he took in Harry's livid countenance.
“Harry,” Severus called as he walked into the room, stopping directly in Harry's path, forcing Harry to collide with him. Grabbing him around the shoulders, Severus frog marched Harry to the couch and forced him to sit. “What happened?”
Instead of answering, Harry thrust out a letter, folding his arms and glaring at nothing as he waited for Severus to read it.
Severus scanned the letter, glancing up as he recognised the handwriting. “This is from your mother,” he breathed, staring at Harry in shock. “Why would this make you angry?”
“Just read it,” was the reply, fury seeping from every word. Severus gazed at Harry before settling back and reading, blanching as he realised what had caused the anger. He glanced up in shock to stare at Harry, breathing shallowly.
“Harry?” he asked before stopping, his mouth hanging open before he shut it with a snap.
“Apparently James wasn't my father,” Harry muttered. Severus could hear the quiet pain hidden in the depths of his voice. Before he could comment, Harry continued. “They didn't even tell me what his name is. No way to contact him to see who he is.
“It could be anyone,” Harry said and lapsed into silence, obviously deep in thought.
“James Potter is your father,” Severus murmured, after a moment.
“What?”
“James Potter is your father,” Severus repeated. Holding up the letter, he waved it in Harry's direction. “As much as I hated that man, he loved you and raised you like his own. He…” Severus paused and grimaced at the thought of what he was going to say next. “He was willing to die for you. That counts for something,” Severus muttered, forcing the words out through his teeth.
Harry stared at Severus, his jaw lowered in shock. “I - I think that's the first time you have ever said anything nice about him,” he said faintly.
“And that will be the last time,” Severus replied.
Harry smiled and leant over to give Severus a kiss.
June, 2000
“I found out the patient number today,” Harry muttered, breaking the peaceful silence.
Severus looked up sharply, watching Harry fiddle with the parchment in his hands. “You did?” he asked, hoping his voice did not betray the panic he felt.
“Yes, it's -”
“I don't want to know,” Severus said quickly, cutting him off.
“You don't?” Harry looked up, surprised.
“No. As I've told you before. That man is not your father. He might have sired you, but he did nothing more. Loathe as I am to say it, James Potter is your father.”
“But...”
“No buts, Harry. If you want to find him, fine, but believe me when I say that you would be better to leave it alone.”
Harry opened and closed his mouth a few times before glancing back at the parchment in his hands. He stared at it for a few minutes before pulling out his wand and setting it on fire with an Incendio.
“I have a father and it's James Potter,” Harry whispered to himself, watching the parchment burn.
Severus opened the front door and stepped into the house, glad to be out of the cold. Candles flickered merrily, softly lighting the house, its warm glow combatting the darkness outside. He paused and glanced up, wondering where Harry was as he pulled off his cloak.
“Harry,” he called as he put his cloak on the rack and walked though the house.
“I'm in the kitchen,” he heard and headed in that direction. He froze in the doorway, staring at the table set for two, in the middle of the room. His gaze flicked to Harry, watching as he fidgeted and started to gnaw his bottom lip in worry.
“Harry, what's going on?” he asked as he crossed the room and slowly took a seat at the table. Neither of them were prone to moments of romanticism, and this was making him wary. “It's not our anniversary. Why are we having an intimate supper?”
As Harry sat down and started to fiddle with the silverware, he wouldn't look Severus in the eye. “I - I have something to ask you,” he said softly. “Something I've been thinking about for a while.”
“Harry,” Severus said, slowly, the uneasy feeling growing.
“Severus, let me speak, please,” he cut in. Running his hand through his hair, Harry took a deep breath and lifted his chin to stare Severus in the eye. “We have been together for two years now. We've fought off dark lords, the public, and all of our friends. We've even managed not to kill each other,” Harry said with a smile. “We've made a home for ourselves - a life - when everyone and everything told us we couldn't.”
Harry paused, shutting his eyes and glancing down before looking back up, determination and love shining in his eyes. He licked his lips before opening his mouth.
“Harry,” Severus tried again, hoping to stop him before he said anything more. He had an inkling of what was going to happen, and he hoped he was wrong.
Holding up a hand, Harry halted him. “Severus, I love you. Will - will you bond with me?”
Severus stared into Harry's eyes, hating himself for what he was about to do. Growing up with those Muggles had forced Harry to expect rejection, and Severus had tried for the past two years to show him that he could ask and deserved to be happy just like everyone else. Why did he have to ask me? Why is he making me hurt him like this?
“Severus,” Harry said hesitantly, worry on his face.
Shutting his eyes to avoid the begging green gaze, Severus steeled himself to crush Harry. Turning his head, he opened his eyes to stare into the flickering flames, not able to look at Harry.
“No,” Severus whispered.
“What? What did you say?” Severus could hear the pain lacing Harry's voice.
“I said no.” Severus said, he voice devoid of emotion. It was the only way he could speak those words. “We can't bond.”
Silence stretched as Severus waited for Harry to say something - do something - even if it was to rage at him. He did not know how long it was before Harry broke the silence.
“Why?”
Severus winced at the pain and despair reflected in that one word. He couldn't answer, knowing he would hurt Harry even more.
“Look at me!” Harry yelled suddenly. “Look at me damn you, and tell me why we can't bond!” Shaking his head, Severus refused, knowing if he looked at Harry his resolve would crumble. A hand on his arm did not give him enough warning before he was pulled around to face Harry, black eyes automatically rising to lock with green ones.
Severus' gaze traced the contours of Harry face, flinching at the anger reflected in the clenched jaw and narrowed eyes.
“You can't just tell me you won't bond with me and not give me a reason.” As Severus remained silent, Harry's anger increased. “Tell me,” he bellowed. “Or so help me I'll -”
“I'm your father,” Severus cut in, glancing away and tensing, waiting for the expected fury. When it didn’t come immediately he started to worry. He almost sighed in relief as Harry started to speak.
“That's your excuse? You're my father?”
“Yes.”
“Really?“ Harry asked, the sarcasm lacing his voice. Severus groaned quietly, knowing it would be harder to convince Harry than he thought. He looked back up as Harry started to rant.
“In case you have forgotten, Severus, you don't like women. Why would you ever think I would believe that? If you don't want to bond with me, fine. Tell me, then. Don’t try and make such an outrageous claim and expect me to believe it. I can handle the truth.”
Severus stared as Harry shook, fury burning in his eyes. He wanted to grab Harry and make him feel better but he knew if he did, Harry would never believe him about being his father. His eyes widened as Harry started to finger his wand, wondering how much notice he would have before the hexes started to fly.
“I'm a Slytherin, Harry. If I were going to lie, I would do it better than that.”
“You really expect me to believe that you are my father and yet you slept with me without any proof?”
You knew that was coming, his inner voice said, as Severus worried what to do.
Hating the fact that the voice was right, Severus sighed before burying his head in his hands and mumbled something.
“What?”
“X3764,” Severus said louder, looking up to catch Harry’s gaze. “I'm Patient X3764.”
“Wh- What?” Harry asked, voice wavering.
“I said I'm Patient -”
“I heard that,” he snapped.
Severus watched the emotions flash across Harry’s face – anger, shock, and worry – before his expression went blank. Only his eyes betrayed the emotion he felt. Harry opened his mouth, then shut it. Finally, he blurted out a few moments later: “H - How? Why?”
“You'll have to be more specific than that,” Severus replied.
Glaring at Severus, Harry demanded, “How do you know that number?”
“You read his profile?” Harry nodded but Severus didn’t wait to see it before continuing. “Excellent with Potions, on his way to getting his Potions Mastery, sarcastic wit...” he trailed off and looked away.
“The looks don't match though,” Harry pointed out, feebly.
“Oh really,” Severus growled, snapping his head up to glare at Harry. “Did you really expect me to indicate my appearance as 'sallow skin, greasy hair, crooked yellow teeth, and a gigantic nose'?”
“I don't believe it. I don't believe that you would willingly have sex with your son.”
“It's a good thing I don't think of you as my son then. Remember, Harry, your father is James Potter; the sperm donor was just that, a sperm donor.”
“I don’t –”
Severus cut him off. “Why do you think I was so insistent on you seeing James as your father?” Raising his eyebrow, he waited for Harry to realise it – to realise what they…he… had done. Minutes passed, and Severus could only guess what was going through Harry’s mind: weak examples to prove his counterargument. As Harry’s mask finally cracked – eyes widening and horror flashing across his face – Severus knew he had finally run out of excuses.
“You're my father,” Harry said faintly, a glazed look in his eyes. “We had sex...I had sex with my father!”
At Harry's exclamation, Severus knew he had to do something quickly. He had just tried to prevent Harry from wanting to bond, not leave his bed altogether. If he let him get worked up about this - gave him time to think about Severus as his father - he would never join him in his bed again.
Making a split second decision, he rose and advanced on Harry. Harry glanced up at his sudden movement.
“Do you think of me as your father, Harry?” Severus purred, his voice like dark chocolate, as he pulled Harry out of his seat and into his waiting arms.
“What are you doing?” Harry asked, trying to push Severus away.
“What do you think I'm doing, Harry?” Severus whispered into his ear before biting gently on the lobe.
“Stop that! You're my father. This is wrong!” Harry tried harder to push Severus away.
“Now, now, none of that,” he said, releasing the lobe to nip and suck his way along Harry's neck. Reaching the juncture of neck and shoulder, he stopped, smirking to himself as he heard Harry moan when he bit into the skin, before soothing the sting with a flash of tongue.
Pulling back, he swooped down and caught Harry's lips in a bruising kiss and deepened it as Harry started to reciprocate. Merlin, but he loved kissing him. He tasted like the tea he always favoured with just a hint of chocolate. When the lack of air became noticeable, he pulled back, panting, and stared at Harry’s flushed face.
“Tell me you don't like this and I'll stop,” Severus murmured, voice ragged.
Harry's eyelids fluttered open, gazing at Severus through lust-ridden eyes. “It's wrong,” he whispered.
“But you like it,” Severus finished, watching as the emotions flickered rapidly over Harry face. He hoped the kiss had been enough to persuade him. The longer it took him to persuade Harry to overlook his parentage, the less likely he would still be Harry's lover when it was over.
Harry closed his eyes and opened his mouth. “Yes,” he breathed, opening his eyes to catch Severus' gaze. “Yes, I like it. I shouldn't, but I do.”
“James Potter is your father,” he whispered. “He loved you and died so you could live. He is your father.”
“Yes,” Harry said, after a few minutes, laying his head against Severus’ chest in acceptance. Pulling him closer, Severus Apparated them to the bedroom, not willing to let this fragile thing be broken.
Stepping away, he flicked his wand and Banished their clothes, before gathering Harry in his arms again. Sighing, he ran his hands along Harry's back, needing to touch as much of Harry as possible. Pushing him on the bed, Severus followed, propping himself up on his elbows so as not to crush Harry.
“Lie back and enjoy,” he purred as he set out to explore the body beneath him leaving a trail of kisses and bites as he slid down Harry's body, hands exploring every inch. Nuzzling along the chest, he took one nipple into his mouth, sucking on it until it was a hardened. Severus treated the other nipple to the same attention, and Harry mewled, bucking up.
“Please, Severus,” Harry gasped out, cheeks flushed and eyes slitted in desire. “Need you.”
Raising his head, Severus smirked as he moved down Harry’s body, gripping Harry’s cock as he licked away the beaded moisture dripping out of the slit. He moaned as Harry's flavour burst along his taste buds. Holding Harry's hips, he relaxed his throat and sucked him down, swirling his tongue along his length as he bobbed his head, hollowing his cheeks at every upward pull.
Harry was thrashing, bucking up into Severus, trying to get deeper in his mouth. When Harry's hands pulled up on his head, Severus pulled away and looked up. As Severus leant back to stare at Harry, he couldn't helping moaning at seeing Harry - face flushed, hands gripping the sheets, legs spread wide open. Merlin, he's beautiful like this, spread out beneath me, wanton and wriggling, begging to be fucked.
Those green eyes opened to stare at him imploringly as Harry groaned. “No...want to come with you in me. Please, Severus. Fuck me.”
“As you wish,” Severus murmured. He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the vial of lubricant. Quickly slicking two fingers in it, he reached behind Harry's balls and circled the tight entrance with one finger.
“Need you, Severus,” Harry whined as he reached down to wrap his fingers around his hard cock, fisting himself in a rough grip. Groaning at the sight, Severus thrust in his finger, quickly adding a second finger and scissoring them. As he felt the hole loosen and Harry push back to meet him, he pulled out and dipped his fingers in the lube again, quickly slathering it on his cock.
Pulling Harry's legs over his shoulders, Severus lined himself up and thrust into him, groaning in ecstasy as he buried himself into Harry’s arse. The heat and the tightness seemed to be sucking Severus farther and farther in until he was buried to the hilt. Severus stilled, basking in the feel of being within his lover again.
“Harder,” Harry moaned, pushing back into the thrusts, trying to get Severus deeper.
“Yes,” Severus hissed in agreement, gripping Harry's hips to pull him back onto his thrusts, switching the angle until Harry gasped and arched his back in pleasure. The only sounds being made were the slapping sounds of flesh on flesh and their grunts and moans.
Knowing he couldn't last very long, Severus reached for Harry's prick, pulling it in time with his thrusts.
“Severus!” Harry yelled as he came, spurting all over Severus’ hand and along his stomach. Harry's gripping walls, clenching and releasing with each pulse of Harry's cock, sent Severus over the end.
“Harry,” he moaned as he thrust once more, coming hard within Harry. Basking in the afterglow, Severus slowly levered his heavy body off of Harry, dropping to curl up next to him. Feeling the tingle of a Cleaning Spell, Severus murmured his thanks into Harry’s ear as he pulled the blankets over them.
Drifting off to sleep, Severus almost didn’t hear the whispered words.
“My father is James Potter,” Harry whispered into the darkness, falling asleep soon afterwards.
Severus glanced at Harry, smirking in agreement before splaying one protective hand across Harry’s stomach.
“That he is,” Severus whispered before falling asleep. “That he is.”